Leah Clearwater : Fire, redemption and salvation
by RuthS
Summary: Leah Clearwater is left without a happy ending at the end of Breaking Dawn. This is a story about how she might have found happiness. She must endure despair and fire before she can make a new life for herself and in the process find her true love.
1. Part 1 Chapter 1 Memories

All Twilight characters and story line belong to Stephanie Meyer

**Leah Clearwater: Fire, Redemption and Salvation**

Introduction:

Part 1, Funeral Pyre

In which Leah drives the Cullen's from Forks and burns their house down, to avenge the death of her father, the destruction of her life and prevent the Cullen's from causing the creation of any more werewolves.

Part 2, It's a new dawn, it's a new life.

In which Leah goes with the Cullen's to New Hampshire, where the Cullen's children are enrolled at Dartmouth College, to set up a new home in the White Mountain National Forest and build a new life for Leah.

Part 3, Dancing in the moonlight.

In which Leah travels across the country like a nomad, using the skills the Cullen's have taught her to search for her missing link, her imprint.

Part 4, Volturi

In which Leah and her new partner are "invited" to visit the Volturi, as Aro would very much like a "Guard Dog" of his own and her new partner reveals some unusual talents to win their freedom.

Epilogue: The happy ending, setting up home in La Push as equal partners.

**Introduction:**

I have read the books, watched the films and perhaps most importantly listened to the audio version of the books, wonderfully narrated by Ilyana Kadushin and Matt Walters. To me the audiobooks are magic, preventing me from skim reading, giving an extra dimension to the text.

At the end of Breaking Dawn I was struck by the fate of Leah Clearwater, no happy ending for her, she lost Sam and then Jacob, destined it seemed to always be the bitter ex-girlfriend, excluded from everyone around her. I was having nightmares about what had happened to Leah, waking up crying at 5 am. My dreams were so vivid, as if Leah was Renesme's gift to show her life to me, urging me to tell her story.

It's not unusual for authors to leave secondary characters hanging in limbo; Jodi Picoult does it all the time and challenges her readers to use their own imagination as to what might have happened to those characters, to give them a life of their own. So that's what I have tried to do for Leah.

I apologise for my writing, I only studied English to age 16. Part 1 is full of angst, self-pity and depression. You have been warned! But then the book opens up and becomes more positive.

I wrote the outline of this story over two frantic days, just jotting down the timeline and central scenes, then I have steadily worked my way through the story from the beginning.

Constructive criticism welcome :-)

Enjoy!

**Part 1 Chapter One: Memories**

The Volturi came gliding out the mist, in smooth formation, soundlessly, like wraiths bringing death and destruction. At a single alpha command from Sam we rose and padded into the clearing. Our thoughts were as one, we scanned the approaching enemy looking for their strengths and weaknesses, allocating targets, preparing to fight.

The formation stopped and Sam ordered us to be still, absolutely still, no one was to move, no one was to make a noise. We held our breath and waited.

We watched and listened as the drama unfolded in front of us, our sense of smell overwhelmed with the sickly sticky stink of vampires and still we waited. The killing of Irina had us poised to attack as we watched in stunned horror, but the Cullen's managed somehow to avert further bloodshed. I wanted to attack, I wanted to kill, I wanted to die, but Sam's command had us held, locked under his will.

In the end it was Bella and her new found gift for mind shielding that appeared to defeat the Volturi, defeated without a fight, violence and carnage averted and lives saved. At Sam's release we howled in relief, relief from the stress, relief from the alpha command, relief from the threat, the pack as one, one pack one mind.

As the Cullen's congratulated themselves we turned back into the woods at Sam's command and made our way home, the young one's excited, the older one's triumphant, and above all Sam's relief that there were no wolves who would not be going home that day.

Of course having so many vampires still at the Cullen's meant that we had to maintain patrols and that included Seth and I as Jacob had transferred us to Sam's pack for the duration of the battle, but for now I phased back, put on clothes and went home to reassure mum and tell her what had happened.

"Hi mum, it's over, the Cullen's won, no one got hurt and Seth is Ok"

Oh, what the ? Mum was not at home ….

I phoned Charlie's house, Sue was there and Seth had already told them all was OK. Sue asks me to come over but I declined. I have nothing in particular against Charlie and he had been a huge comfort to her, with losing dad and us becoming werewolves. _The vampire dad with the werewolf mum._ How ironic, but at least they had each other, someone to talk to, and Seth had the other wolves but who did I have? I was the only female wolf in the pack!

Our house felt empty, like my mood, so I went for a walk, still on edge from the stress of the confrontation. At the beach the wolf boys are celebrating and I felt in no mood for celebration, I envied them their carefree fun but did not want to inflict my depression them. Let them celebrate; there would be time enough in the future for reflection. At least the Cullen's would be moving soon, heading off for Dartmouth College and that would be it for this generation of wolves, apart from the occasional vampire nomad who might stray to this side of the Olympic peninsula.

My wonderings by quiet paths brought me to the grave yard. Snow had fallen over the graves, a soft white mantle, it would not last, and already I could feel a change in the wind direction bringing warmer air from the sea. Rain was on its way to wash away the snow and expose the graves. For now the graves were covered but I knew which one was my father's, I could remember all to vividly the day of the burial, the pain, the remorse, the grief, the loss, the waste. I had not had time to say goodbye, to say "I love you", no time for grieving, the need to be strong for my mum, for my little brother, not knowing what to say to the other mourners.

As a wolf I could run away from here, I could try to forget, to bury the grief and the anger, but as Leah there was no escape, nowhere to run, no future to look forward to, only the pain of loss, loss of my father, loss of my childhood, loss of my future, loss of my identity.

I feel on my knees, tears running silently down my cheeks. "Dad, why did you go, why did you leave me here? Was it my fault dad, was I the one who struck it down, was it too much for you that I had become a wolf? Did I let you down?" The loss was too much to bear and I keeled over, curled up in agony, lost in my pain, as much physical now as mental.

Darkness fell but I did not notice, voices called my name but I did not hear them, lights shone on me but I did not see them, rough hands lifted me an carried me home but I felt nothing, my mother's voice called out in aguish but I was lost on the planes between this world and the next calling out for my father.

In the days that followed I withdrew further into myself, refusing all food and drink. In my delirium I was burning, screaming in agony, surrounded by tongues of fire. Slowly faces appear in the flames, my father, my mother, my brother and one other without a face, the harder I stared at the faceless flame more it faded until the fire went out, was it Sam, was it Jacob, was it someone else ?

The burning eases and I am lying under a sky full of stars on a featureless plain, my family are sitting in a circle talking to a 4th person, they turn and beckon to me but the faster I run to them the further away they are, until I collapse, exhausted.

I hear Seth and Sam calling me. I feel sorry for Seth and my Mum and I want to reassure them that I am alright but Sam; I was not coming back for Sam, to have to feel again the pain of love lost. What idiot said that it was better to have loved and lost than never loved at all, because it sure didn't feel that way?

I hear Jacob, using his alpha command to try and bring me back to the living. Jacob who would not let me leave, to live as a wolf for the rest of her life, would not give me a chance escaping my past, to be as one with my wolf self. Jacob says that I must be strong for Sue and Seth; they are so worried about me. The sense of guilt consumes me, pulling me down and turning me in even more on myself.

Then I sense a vampire, there is no mistaking that stink, even in the planes between worlds where all other senses are dimmed and cold. I hear worried voices thanking Carlisle for coming to see me. I curse, trust the tribe not to call in a human doctor in case their secret gets out, instead they turn to our mortal enemy. Carlisle Cullen, a vampire doctor, the most human and caring of all the Cullen's, and also the ultimate cause of all my misery and heartache.

Perhaps here was an opportunity for revenge; could I attack in my weakened state? I breathed deeply, using that burning vampire stink to pull dregs of adrenalin out of my body and stretched to try and bring life back into my muscles. Opening my eyes I searched for his position, turning to spring at him but my body betrays me. I am so weak that I manage only to fall out of bed and crash to the floor. Jacob and Seth rush in to find out what happened, while Carlisle steps back against the wall of my tiny bedroom. I struggle to my knees growling in rage and hate but Jacob and Seth restrain me until exhausted my struggles fade.

Carlisle watches warily and tells me that they cannot help me unless I tell them what is wrong with me. I spit my defiance, trying to cursing him to hell and back for destroying my life, except that my mouth is so dry I can't even spit.

I whisper "What's wrong with me? You are what is wrong with me, you are the one who has destroyed my life, you have destroyed me as surely as a stake through my heart, only longer and more painfully."

Carlisle looks warily at Jacob and Seth. It's Seth who hesitates, then says "Perhaps it would help Leah if you listen to her story. You are the first person to get any kind of a reaction from her since we found her. If you can keep her talking we might be able to figure out what's wrong with her". I look at him, a monster pretending to be human and doubt that he would ever care about me or my story. "Leah", he says, "We, my family and I, owe you so much for what you did for us. If it would help you to tell me your story then I will listen and try to help."

I felt torn, I want to rip him to shreds but my body won't let me. Even if I could attack him it would be like attaching a granite boulder unless I phased, at which Jacob would use his Alpha command to stop me. How ironic that for all my wolf strengths the only weapon available to me right now was words.

My mum appeared in my bedroom doorway asking if there is anything she can do to help, her eyes take in the tableau, then switch back to me with a worried frown. "Leah, honey, you look awful, you must drink something". I would cry if I had any tears, instead I nod and ask for water, anything to hand.

I ask Seth to help me sit up, my mum returns with water "There Leah, I will make you some soup now, does anyone else want anything?" They shake their heads and she goes back to the kitchen. I take a sip, then a gulp and sigh deeply, the vampire stink burns my throat and I gag, a bitter reminder of the vampire standing motionless against the wall.

I started talking quietly of the time before the Cullen's, when we were a happy family, of my love for Sam and the bitterness of my loss when he became a wolf and left me for my cousin, Seth and I becoming wolves, the death of our father from the shock of seeing us transform, my loss of fertility, our mother's tears when Seth and I had gone to defend the Cullen's, putting ourselves at risk and becoming outlaws from our own tribe, how I felt still excluded, doomed to always be the bitter outcast, chained to La Push. All this because of the Cullen's.

Seth and Jacob stir uneasily during my story but do not interrupt, perhaps more worried about upsetting me than in trying to argue with me. Mum brought my soup and stayed by the door, her eyes full of tears as she also listened to me. My poor mum, so much loss, so much pain but at least she still had Seth, who comforted me as I finished my story with my time at our father's grave.

Carlisle apologises for the consequences, however unintentional, of their presence and asks what he can do to help. His family are moving to Dartmouth in a couple of weeks and their departure should allow the tribe to resume normal life.

I sip some of mum's soup, feeling my energy starting to return. At least now I might be able to spit at him. "Will your leaving turn back the clock?" I ask. "Will I get Sam back? Will I get my life back? Will we get our dad back? Or are you just walking away, leaving others to sort out your mess. Are you abandoning us, after we helped you in your hour of need?"

"Leah, I won't walk away, I won't leave your family to suffer because of us. "He sighed deeply, "I'm sorry Leah, so sorry, I wish I could turn the clock back for all of you but that is beyond even us. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

I look at him directly, glaring at his golden eyes, "You could put me out of my misery and kill me now". "Nooo " screams my mum who comes to hug me and Seth. "My poor baby" and rocks me in her arms.

I turn my glare on Jacob, the wolf turned traitor. "or you could let me leave the tribe to be as one with my wolf self, like we were going to before you imprinted on the mutant child." My mum sobs "Leah don't go, don't leave us like Jacob did."

Jacob sighs in frustration and Carlisle asks him to explain my request, "When Bella and Edward got engaged I ran away and spent time living up north as a wolf, feeling nothing but the needs of my wolf self. That helped me to forget everything human, to leave my pain behind. Then when Leah was helping to guard your family I showed her how to let her wolf instinct take over and we talked about leaving together, about supporting each other."

"Traitor" I mutter. My mum looks at me accusingly, "I saw what Jacob leaving did to his father, I was the one who had to support Billy and you will NOT do that to me, do you hear!"

Jacob continues "Then Renesme came along and now I am bound to her and I fear that if I let Leah go wolf alone then she will not return. I had a pull to Bella that I could not escape but Leah does not have that pull, if anything the Sam issue will push her further away. We have to find something else, some other way to help her."

Carlisle's phone rings, he takes it out of his pocket with a muttered apology but hesitates when he sees who is calling. He answers the phone "Alice, what do you see". I hear Alice's voice pleading

"Don't do this Carlisle; it will tear our family apart !"

"Do you have an alternative ?"

"Does she mean more than us ? Your own family ?"

Carlisle hangs up and sighs. "Leah, we will find a way to help you. I am a surgeon, not a miracle worker, but if this was an infected wound then I would clean the wound before stitching it back together again and protecting it until the wound is healed. "

"Sue, I think that Leah should tell her story to all my family, so that they all understand the pain and suffering that we have caused by our presence. It is possible that giving her an outlet for her feelings will help and it is also possible that as a family we may be able to come up with a way to help her recover to the point where she can return to you."

I growl a refusal but mum looks hopefully at Carlisle "Could you make her better ? Can you heal her ?" Carlisle sighs again, "We will try Sue, I don't know how long it will take but we will do everything we can for Leah, I promise that we will take good care of her." Mum turns back to me, "please Leah, for me". Seth also looks happy, he trusts the Cullen's and seems to think that Carlisle is some sort of miracle worker. Jacob though is looking cautiously at Carlisle, worried perhaps by Alice's words.

I finish my soup and consider my options. I could refuse to go, just curl up here again and wait for the end or I could go with the vampire to meet his family ! Neither were appealing options but maybe if I annoyed the vampires enough they would kill me, maybe I would get a chance to attack one of them. That thought cheered me up."

Carlisle turns to Jacob, "I will go ahead and let the others know, could you bring Leah and whatever she needs to stay with us until she is better ?" Jacob nods and my mum adds "Carlisle, I will pack a bag for Leah now, and Jacob, I will call Charlie to ask if he can take us to the Cullen's. Seth can go with you to look after Leah."

"No mum, Seth should stay here to look after you" I interrupt, "I'm sorry mum, I'm sorry to do this to you and I can't take Seth away from you", turning to Seth "Please Seth look after mum for me ?" Seth hesitates and looks from me to mum and nods "mum we can always visit Leah and I don't want to leave you alone." My mum escorts Carlisle to the door and I sense that she won't push the point, perhaps concerned about Seth as much as about me.

I curl up on my bed as mum bustles around me packing a bag with clean clothes, worrying about me and promising to visit me as often as she can. She sits by me and strokes my face, "my poor Leah, get well soon my baby, and come home as soon as you can."

Charlie is his usual taciturn self, waiting until we are in his cruiser before asking what was wrong with me. Mum and Jacob hesitate and I butted in "Do you remember how Bella was when Edward left ?", he nodded warily. "Well that's how I feel. Charlie, please look after mum for me, you know better than anyone else what she is going through." Charlie nodded again and I felt that I had done what I could for mum and Seth, time now for the Cullen's.


	2. Part 1 Chapter 2  Flames

All Twilight characters and storyline belong to Stephanie Meyers

**Leah Clearwater: Fire, Redemption and Salvation**

**Part 1 Chapter 2 – Flames**

We drove up the long winding path to the Cullen's house in Charlie's cruiser. Mum sitting in the front with Charlie, Seth sitting in the back with me. All of us quiet with our own thoughts, Mum probably hoping that Carlisle could "cure" me, Charlie remembering how Bella had been when Edward had abandoned her and Seth thinking of how best to handle the conflict between the Cullen's and I.

I look around me, at this cursed house, the house I had run round so many times, excluded from their world just as much as I felt excluded from my tribe. I wondered what Carlisle had in mind and what opportunities I would have to take my revenge.

Carlisle and Esme meet us and assure Sue and Charlie that they will do everything they can for me.

Mum hugs me and sighs deeply, "Leah, come home soon baby." Charlie hangs back, watching my mum carefully and helps her back into his cruiser. Seth lifts my bag out of the trunk and leaves it on the porch, turning to me he hesitates; "Are you sure you don't want me to stay with you?"

"Thanks Seth but mum needs you."

"Charlie can look after mum just as well as me."

"Seth, you were not there when I told her we were both going to join Jake in protecting the Cullen's, her anguish at the thought of losing both of us. So please Seth, go with mum, be where she can see you are safe."

"I don't like leaving you like this."

"I know Seth, but I can't go on the way I am and this may be a way out for me, one way or another."

"The Cullen's .."

"Seth the Cullen's can look after themselves, there are 8 of them and only one of me."

"That's not what I meant;" he hesitated; "I don't like this conflict with the Cullen's, they are our friends." He turned to look to where Carlisle and Esme were at the cruiser chatting with Charlie and Esme.

My voice turned hard, "Seth, they may be your friends but that does not excuse what they have done and the consequences of their actions. You need to think on Seth, where do your loyalties lie, your family, your tribe or the Cullen's."

It hurt me to see the pain in his face but it was time he opened his eyes to what was going on around him.

"So go and look after mum and leave me to sort this out with the Cullen's" and I pushed him over to the car still trying to argue with me.

Carlisle and Esme pulled back as we approached and I asked Charlie to make sure Seth stayed with mum. Opening the back door I gestured for Seth to get in and glared at him. Seth looked from me to Carlisle and Esme then back to me. Carlisle spoke up, "Leah will be safe with us Seth."

As Seth got in the cruiser I heard him mutter "will you be safe with her ?"

I bent to my mum's window, "love you mum" and she smiled back to me wistfully, "love you too Leah, always."

I watch the cruiser drive off back up the driveway and waited until I heard it turn onto the highway before looking round to the Cullen's, still standing there motionless, watching me carefully, as if I was some dangerous wounded animal. Well I guess that was true, but right now all I felt was sadness at mum and Seth leaving. Anyway, how could I harm them while I was in human form ?

Esme takes a couple of steps towards me. "Leah, I'm sorry about what we have done to you and your family. We will find a way to help you." My anger returns, affronted by her attitude. "The only help I need from you is to kill me now, before I suffer any more." And I lean forward preparing to phase. In an instant Carlisle is at her side, pulling her back and holding his hand out to me. "Your story remember, you want to tell us your story, remember you want us to understand what we have done to you."

His words filter through my anger and I straighten up, words it is then. Carlisle tries to hold my gaze but I look down to Esme who seems to be sucking in her bottom lip. Was she worried I wondered ? She had promised my mum she would look after me but did she care or were those just hollow words ? She gestured towards one of the huge cedar trees that bordered their lawn. "Jacob set up a camp for you over there, we thought ….. we wanted you to be comfortable and we know you don't like being in our house ….. so we thought perhaps that would be OK for you ?" I saw that someone had set up a tent and laid out camping gear. "So is that my kennel ?" I growl".

"Jacob set it up for you and told us that was probably the best arrangement." Oh great, the traitor was interfering, talking of which "where is he ?"

Carlisle answered, "Jacob is looking after Renesmee so that Edward and Bella can be present to hear your story. We will come out to you whenever you are ready." And with that they were gone, in less than a blink of my eyes I was alone on the driveway. Well that was maybe for the best, Jacob not being here, as he was a large part of my story and now that he was imprinted on Renesmee his loyalties were divided.

My stomach growled with hunger, mum's soup was wearing off and I had to make a decision, to eat or not to eat, that was the question. Food would make me stronger and I would put up a better fight but if I was just going to waste away then eating would only prolong the agony. My stomach growled again and made my decision for me. If I was going to be telling my story I did not want my stomach interrupting my flow of words and images. Exasperated with myself, my weakness, I walked over to the campsite kicking a fallen branch in petulance. A couple more paces and the thread of a memory came back to me, of collecting wood for fires on the beach and listening to dad telling stories. I turned back and picked up the branch before continuing to my camp site, collecting more wood on the way for a fire.

Reaching my campsite I saw a tent, my bag, a couple of blankets, primus stove, what looked like a cooking kit and a few tins. All the time I had been patrolling the Cullen's I had slept and eaten as a wolf and none of this had been necessary. I could do so again, but this time the enemy was within and I wanted to face them in human form, so OK this would do for now. I didn't plan on being here long anyway so big deal. I set up the primus and picked through the tins. Coffee, beans, meat and more beans. It would have been nice to have had some milk and eggs but it was better than nothing I thought resignedly.

There was a faint wish, the merest hint of vampire stink, a single blurred movie frame of Edward, and there in front of me was a carton of milk and a box of eggs. Wow, I rocked backwards in reflex long after he had gone. I remembered him being fast but either he had got faster or I had got slower. I also remembered now that he could read minds and I sighed deeply, no secrets from him while I was here. I wondered how that would affect my story telling, would he know what I was going to say before I could say it ? Would he interrupt me ? Could I make use of his talent for my own purposes ?

I mulled over Edwards mind reading, remembering images of him, the burning man in the window of this very house, agonising over Bella and her baby, Edward stepping forward to meet with Aro at the battle field, Edward practice fighting before the attack of the new-borns. Edward the quiet one, who would not teach Bella how to fight as a vampire but gave in to her on everything else. Edward who was having to share Renesmee with Jacob, I chuckled at that thought. Serves them both right to end up in that mess. Then I thought of Renesmee, the half vampire half human child, weird child with the accelerated growth and obvious intelligence. I didn't hate her as such, not her fault her father had gotten Bella pregnant when he should have known better, it's just that every time I saw her I felt an ache, an ache for the child I would never have myself. My emotions started to well up again and I reached for the primos stove. Got to concentrate, got to focus.

As I cooked I looked at the sky, cloudy as usual, felt like late afternoon though difficult to be sure, as if it mattered. As long as the rain held off I would be OK and the giant cedar would protect us from any light rain that might blow in. Would I stop my story if it started raining hard ? if they started to get wet ? I chuckled again at the thought of them getting drenched then remembered that it made no difference to them. The smell and the taste of the egg and beans was good, bringing back happy memories of family camps. Now if they had thought of this back when I was patrolling their boundary then I might not have had to eat wolf style. I remembered the plate of food that Esme had given Jacob one time, the stink of vampire was too much for me and I had thrown my share in the river.

After finishing my eggs and beans I put on the kettle to boil and went down to the river to wash out the pan. I might need coffee to keep me going later and I still had to work out how to tell my story. I sat back on my heels as I scrubbed the pan and thought back to the camps of my youth, the way my dad would close his eyes and pull our legends from his memories. Could I do the same ? Could I tell my story in the patois of my tribe, use images from our legends ? Would calling the vampires 'the cold ones' help to tell my story ? Thinking of my dad started up my emotions again and I shook my head trying to focus and turned back to camp. I arranged the firewood in a stack just like we used to but I was unsure about lighting it. A burning fire would bring back memories of my dad and my burning nightmare. Better perhaps to leave lighting the fire until it felt like the right thing to do.

The food, milk and bending over all brought the human part of my body back into focus. I looked at the house, probably loads of toilets in there, probably none of which were used except by visitors. Despairing at my all too human messed up body I trudged off to the bushes.

On my return I made coffee, sat down with my back to the tree and thought to myself, no time is a good time for this but there is no point prevaricating any longer. Edward I thought, "it's time" and they appeared, in couples, Carlisle and Esme sat down on my right, Edward and Bella on my left, next to them Alice and Jasper while Rosalie and Emmett made up the rest of the circle. They waited, still as carved statues watching me, even Emmett looked serious.

I cleared my throat and thought back to nights by the fire with my father and started with the tale of the cold ones, trying to remember his lilt and patois, his memories made me emotional but the steady flow of words settled me down, as if his hand was on my shoulder encouraging me to take up where he had left off. I relaxed and let the story flow feeling the rhythm in the now familiar tale of wolf spirits defending our land against the cold ones. I ghosted over the treaty with Jacob's grandfather and how stories by the fire had become legends. How we had been a quiet backwater, sheltered from storms of war around us, content with our hunting and fishing.

I spoke about my father and my mother, their happiness with having two children, how I had helped my mother around the house and helped bring up my little brother. I looked forward to having a family of my own and at high school found the boy who would be the love of my life, our happiness together, our plans for the future seemed assured, until the day the cold ones returned.

I paused to take a sip of coffee; I might as well have been talking to myself as the statues were so still. I could hear no heartbeats, just the occasional faint breath. Time perhaps to prompt some kind of reaction, to find out whose thoughts were elsewhere. I looked round the circle and stopped at Bella Cullen. Bella Cullen, at the heart of so much of the story that was to come yet was it her fault that she got dragged into this. If the Cullen's had not moved to Forks she would not have met Edward. That's not to say that she might not have met him somewhere else and another time, but not right here in this place. Bella Cullen, whose father was right now trying to support my mother. I hated her passionately for the path she had chosen but that was another issue. Edward stirred by her side, obviously aware of my thoughts.

"Bella, you were not there at the original treaty nor were you part of the decision to move here. You do not have to stay for my story unless you wish to."

She looked right back at me with an appraising look; she had changed so much since her move to Forks, from naïve school girl to motherhood to becoming a vampire. The look she gave me now spoke of the distance between us. "I am here as a Cullen, as Edwards wife and I too owe you so much Leah for what you have done for me. I would like to hear your story."

"You 'would like' to hear my story?" I asked in surprise." Right now your dad is comforting my mum." I paused, "When your father asked me how I was feeling I told him that I felt like you did when Edward left you, he flinched." She flinched too and Edward could not resist a low hiss, always the protective one, as if she needed protecting from the likes of me. "So if you are going to stay Bella then I need your promise that whatever happens here, whatever I say, that you will support my mum." She nodded once, her face grave.

I turned to Alice and Jasper, "were you two at the original treaty ?" They shook their heads, "then you also need not stay as I do not hold you responsible for your move here". Jasper looked at Alice and replied quietly "Thank you ma'am, but we also would like to hear your story."

Next I turned to Rosalie and Emmett "I'm not sure if you were both at the original treaty ?" Rose replied, "I was but not Emmett." Emmett interrupted, "but I don't want to miss this, I enjoy a good horror story." and grinned. So help me I grinned back, it seemed impossible not to like Emmett and I wondered if that was his talent.

I looked into the firewood trying to refocus, to pick up the threads of my story and shivered, not so much for the cold as for the pain that was coming, right about now would be a good time to light the fire. Knowing my luck it would just smoke and go out.

Edward interrupted my musing, "Emmett, time to light the fire and you are the best at that." Emmett grinned and leaped up with such enthusiasm that I could not help grin again, boys and matches I thought.

I noticed the quick glance between Edward and Carlisle and growled, food and fire did not diminish the core hostility between us. I sighed deeply and once again reaching for my memories of my father I restarted my story.

"Sam was everything I wanted, everything I would ever want. He was kind and sensitive and loved me as much as I loved him. The other girls in my year were jealous but I didn't care, I had Sam and that was all I wanted. We would never be rich, well not financially, but we were a respected part of our community, sure of our place, sure of our future together. Then Sam became ill, I nursed him as best I could, he was running a fever, burning hot, we did not know what to do. Then one night he disappeared, vanished, I was so worried for him, blamed myself for not being with him, to stop him disappearing. I was so relieved when he came back, but the Sam that came back was not the Sam that I had known and loved. This was a darker Sam, who kept secrets from me. He kept on disappearing and would not tell me what was happening. I was so distraught, I did not know what to do, I asked my mum and dad but they just said to let him be. I was so relieved when my cousin Emily came to visit. Emily was my childhood friend and I longed to talk with her about Sam, to have someone to share my worried with, but it was not to be."

"As soon as Sam saw Emily he was besotted by her, he only came to see me so that he could spend more time with Emily. I could see his expression when he looked at her, the same expression that he used to have for me. I had lost the love of my life to my cousin and I was devastated. What had I done wrong, what had I done to deserve this ? I asked Sam straight out and he was sad, sad for me, said how sorry he was, said how he did not, had not wanted to hurt me, but Emily was the true one for him. Emily cried and said how sorry she was but that Sam loved her and she loved Sam. I wept as I told my mum, who hugged me, and said it would all work out OK in the end, then my Dad said no, Sam and Emily were meant to be together and that is the end of it. He said he felt for me but I would just have to accept that Sam and Emily were meant to be together. I could not believe that my father would say that to me, to defend Sam against his own daughter. My mum argued with my dad but he would not alter his opinion and laid down the law, Emily was my cousin and I should support her relationship with Sam."

"News of Sam and Emily spread, our neighbours wondered why Sam had dumped me and without an explanation from Sam they assumed that it must be something I had done or said. I became ostracised, my friends ignored me, I became depressed, dropped out of school, spent my time at home. My dad told me to get over it and move on; my mum hugged me and said she wished she could make it better for me. "

"Then I heard rumours that other boys in our tribe were sick and when they got better they had changed, become a part of Sam's gang. What was weird was that the elders let this happen, seemed to support this 'gang'. They even invited Sam onto the council and let the gang go anywhere they wanted without objection."

"Dad kept asking Seth if he was OK, used to drive Seth nuts over it, but it was not long until Seth too went sick and started running a temperature. Mum wanted to take Seth to the hospital but dad refused, said he would get better on his own. They argued again but dad was adamant that Seth was staying home; he even invited Sam over to speak to Seth. None of this made and sense to me and by now I felt sick too. It was like a bad dose of flu, I didn't say anything to mum or dad, they were too worried about Seth, so I just kept to my room and eavesdropped on what Sam was saying to Seth. Sam said the fever would peak and Seth would be all disorientated but not to worry, he and the other boys in his gang would be there to help, but why would it be Sam and the boys and not a medical team ? That I could not understand."

I stared into the flames, remembering how the fever burnt me. "It took 2 days for the fever to burn through me. I was scorched, boiled and roasted by the fever. Mum found me and ran screaming for my dad. He came to see me and his eyes were scared and frightened. He said that this was wrong, all wrong and that I should not be trying to copy Seth and that I would not get any sympathy from him for causing our mum so much worry." The fever burned on and I became delirious and in my delirium I heard Sam and the other boys in my head. I could 'hear' their thoughts and they could hear mine. They thought I was Seth and were appalled when they realised that it was me, Leah, Seth's sister. Seth's thoughts arrived soon after mine and Sam came for both of us. Sam came as big black wolf and I remembered dad's stories of wolf spirits, but those were always men, and I was not a man, I was a woman so what was happening to me ?"

"I saw dad, looking at Seth and I and Sam, and the shock in his eyes when he realised that the third wolf must be his daughter. I could hear my mother screaming in the house and dad went to her. That was the last time I saw my father and I will never forget the look on his face, the shock from seeing me as a wolf. Dad's heart failed soon after and I will always believe that the final straw, the shock that caused his heart attack was seeing me."

"The next few days were a firestorm of emotions. Grieving for my father, trying to support my mother and younger brother, helping to organise my father's funeral, trying to be polite to our neighbours who visited. The elders came of course, for my dad had been on the tribal council and I will never forget the look they gave me. They must have known about my wolf and blamed me for my father's death, as if I had disgraced my family."

"At the same time Sam was explaining the wolf legends to us, only they were not legends any more but real life. We had been summoned to be wolves, to protect our tribe from the cold ones. The cold ones that had just moved to Forks. These cold ones were honouring an agreement not to come onto our tribal lands but we had to be on our guard. Many years ago the cold ones had nearly destroyed our tribe and it was only the sacrifice of the third wife that had saved us. There were more wolves this time as there were more cold ones now than in our grandfather's days. There were 7 of them, more than enough to wipe us out if they so choose."

"Sam also told us that we had to keep our wolf selves secret. No one outside the pack and the elders were to know of our existence, which meant that we could not tell our own mother. I complained bitterly, hadn't our mother suffered enough with the loss of our father and now to also lose both her son and daughter. Sam spoke to the elders and they decided that mum should have dad's place on the council, which meant that she could be told about the wolves. Poor mum, what was worse, to not know what was wrong with her children or to know that they were wolves ?"

Tears stream down my cheeks and I paused, frozen with the pain of my memories. Esme reached out to comfort me but I shook her off with a growl. "You caused this, you coming here, your choice, our burden. You could never understand the suffering my mother went through, and goes through even now." She shrank back and Carlisle glared at me. I glared right back at him "do you not see the suffering you cause around you ? or are we just animals, to be used and discarded." There was an audible hiss around the circle until Carlisle held up his hand. He pulled Esme to him and hugged her before motioning me to continue.

I shut my eyes to refocus and reached to pick up the threads of my story, worse pain was coming and I wanted this over with. "Within the pack we have a mental link, as you have seen, what one wolf sees we all see, what one wolf thinks we all think, what one wolf feels we all feel. Very useful when we are patrolling or hunting and essential when we have to kill a vampire." I paused but there was no reaction, they probably accepted that after our fight with the new borns. "The mental link though still works even when we don't need or want it. When Sam and I were both in wolf form he could read all my thoughts and feelings, just as I could read his thoughts and feelings, his love for Emily, the way she felt when she kissed him, the way she smelt first thing in the morning, how it felt to make love to her." Even now the pain flooded back through my memories, "Sam knew that I knew and tried not to think of Emily when I was around and tried to work our patrol patterns so that we were wolves together as little as possible, but as Alpha it was inevitable that we would be wolves together from time to time. I would feel his feelings about Emily, and how he felt about me. Sorrow for the pain he was causing me, the wish that I would get over it, the hope that I would find someone myself. I knew now that Sam had imprinted on Emily and that this was something he could not help, it was an integral part of being a wolf. Knowing helped, and I hated Emily less now but every time I saw her I could not help but recall how Sam felt about her and remember how once he used to think of me like that."

I took a deep breath and another gulp of now cold coffee. "The mind link is two way, Sam and the other boys in our pack could feel what I felt, remember what I remembered. No one wanted that, no one wanted to feel how I felt about Sam kissing Emily instead of me, to remember kissing Sam. Very quickly no one wanted to be on patrol with me and they avoided me as much as possible. Knowing the history between Sam and me they sympathised but had no wish to endure my pain with me. So I was the pariah, the only wolf in a pack where no one wanted to be near me and I could not talk to anyone outside the pack about what I was going through. Mum tried to help but what could she say or do to help me ?"

"Then I missed my period, for a couple of weeks I was out my mind and drove the pack out of their mind worrying that I was pregnant. In the end my mum and the other elders worked out that if the boys stopped aging when they were wolves then maybe my body also stopped aging. As the weeks went on I had to come to terms with the realisation that if my periods had stopped then I would never be able to have a child, the children that Sam and I had planned would never happen, no Sam, no periods, a genetic dead end. I also wondered if that was why Sam had imprinted on Emily, had his wolf self known that I would not be able to have his children. Mum tried to reassure me that when I stopped being a wolf my periods would restart and maybe she is right, but I am not convinced."

"I was part of the patrols, chasing Victoria and guarding Bella." She nodded in acknowledgement. "You will remember me from the battle with the new borns. I would have died if it had not been for Jacob's intervention, but in many ways it would have been better for me if he had not intervened. It would have been over me, I could have been with my father, perhaps my family could have been proud of me, the one who fell in battle. Jacob would not have been hurt and would not have needed medical treatment." I did not glance at Carlisle. If it had not been for him bringing the Cullen's here and triggering an explosion of wolves then this would never happened.

"When Sam found out that Bella was pregnant he wanted to attack straight away. I was assigned to lead the group that would attack Carlisle, Esme and Alice." There was a clearly audible hiss round the circle. "Seth was in my group and I wanted him sent home to keep him safe and prevent his friendship with you from causing me problems. So I had mixed feelings when Jacob and Seth deserted our pack to protect you. Sam could not attack straight away with the element of surprise lost, our strength reduced by 2 and your strength increased by 2. The immediate danger was over but I was worried about the long term. If we attacked later would I have to fight Seth ? I thought about it restlessly all night and in the morning told my mum that I was joining you to protect Seth."

"There was a bonus, we had noticed that Jacob and Seth had disappeared from our pack mind and I guessed correctly that as soon as I had decided to switch pack I was free of Sam. What bliss, I had tried to leave the pack before on my own to escape Sam but that had not worked and I was prepared to run patrols round you all day and all night just to get away from Sam, that's how significant it was to me. It didn't stop me hating you, I still didn't want anything to do with you and I would not fight for you, just fight to protect Seth if I had to."

"Jacob was a problem and tried to send me straight back to Sam's pack. It was only Seth's intervention that stopped him. Jacob remembered how bitter I was and wanted none of that here. I worked hard to be as helpful as possible and gradually our relationship thawed. We even talked about a future together, away from here, supporting each other as friends. He was not my Sam and I was not his Bella but we would have been good for each other." Tear's rolled down my cheeks and I tasted the salty wetness of them. "When Jacob flipped and roared off I came to you to defend my friend. I understand now what held him to you Bella but at the time all I could see was you torturing him and I wanted you to stop hurting him, my friend." Edward hissed at the memory but Bella nodded. Hopefully she understood my reasons.

"It was not to be, like Sam before him, Jacob went and imprinted, forgetting our plans together. With the imprinting everything changed between you and the pack. Seth and I could go home at last. We were still members of Jacob's pack so I had escaped from Sam being in my head every day but I felt excluded now more than ever. When the Volturi came Jacob assigned Seth and I to Sam's pack and you know the rest of the story."

"So there you have my sorry bitter lament. My hatred of you is not personal as such, it's just that your coming here has destroyed everything I value in my life and loaded me with memories and feelings that I was never meant to have and never wanted."

Drained and emotionally exhausted I turned to Carlisle. "What now doctor ?"

He blinked and stood up. "Thank you Leah, I think that I need to talk now with my family so I suggest you try to get some rest and we will see you in the morning." With that they were all gone, in a blink of my tired eyes the circle was empty except for the faint reek of vampire. I sat staring at the glowing embers of the fire until at last sleep took me.


	3. Part 1 Chapter 3  Fire

All Twilight characters and storyline belong to Stephanie Meyers

**Leah Clearwater: Fire, Redemption and Salvation**

**Part 1 Chapter 3 – Fire**

At first I slept soundly then the dreams started, different this time. There was still the burning in agony but this time I could see my father in the flames and he was shouting at me. What he was shouting at me I could not hear above the roar of the flames but he looked desperate to tell me something but what ? At last the burning faded and once again I was on the moonlit plain, only this time there was a road by me, stretching into the distance, white in the moonlight. There was a tall dark stranger and music, we were dancing to the music, an old fashioned type of dance and I danced as if my life depended on it. I pinched myself awake to escape the nightmare.

I woke to the smell of frying and a cheerful whistling. I uncurled and stretched my legs, trying to shake off the dreams. Tall dark strangers, whatever next ! Must be a throw back to an old Sunday afternoon B movie. I poked my head out of the tent to find Jacob frying up breakfast on the primos stove, "Hey there she is, come and get it." And with that he emptied the contents of the frying pan onto a plate and handed it over to me. Eggs, mushrooms, cheese , ham, tomatoes all mixed in together and smelling so good. My tummy growled in appreciation. Jacob laughed and handed me a carton of milk.

"Well sleepy head how are you feeling this morning ."

I stretched and flexed my muscles, "All's good in the 'hood. Is there a plan for the day ?"

"Sort of, apparently they spent all night arguing about you and could not reach a consensus so there are three basic plans, Jasper, Rose and Carlisle's. It's best if they explain them to you themselves."

As we finished breakfast Edward, Bella and Nessie walk across the lawn together. "Good morning Leah", says Bella, who must be the spokesperson. Nessie hid behind her mum and peeked out at me as if I am some kind of dangerous wolf. I smile politely, "Good morning Bella, Good morning Edward, Good morning Renesmee."

Bella smiles at my using Nessie's full name. "Good morning Leah, are you feeling better ?" asks Nessie in her clear high pitched voice. I'm honoured, normally she does not bother speaking, preferring instead her gift of vision through touch. "I do feel better thank you Renesmee, Jacob makes a wonderful breakfast, would you like to try some ?" She makes a face and Jacob laughs.

"Renesmee can you stay with Jacob while your father and I walk with Leah." says Bella, offering me her arm. How very old fashioned, must be Edward's influence. "You can always play wash up." Both Jacob and Nessie laugh as we walk away.

"Thank you for telling us your story last night. It was very moving and provoked much discussion. We, Carlisle and Esme want to help you and would like you to stay with us for as long as you need. "

"I thought you were moving to New Hampshire?"

"Yes, we are leaving later today after we have said goodbye to my father and our offer is for you to come with us. You are practically family and well I would like us to be friends, sisters."

Shocked I glanced at Edward, "Whatever Bella wants." He said quietly.

"We all feel that you have great potential and while you think of yourself as excluded from normal people, your own people and us, we actually see you as being a part of each, a bridge between all our worlds."

I looked at her sceptically and she turned to face me. "Carlisle and Esme will talk to you later, they are staying until you make your decision, whether you come with us or stay here. Whatever you decide is fine for us, I just want you to know that our door will always be open for you."

Jasper appeared and walked to the centre of the lawn beckoning me over. Bella sighed, "Jasper and Rosalie have rather different views, Jasper thinks you just need a good workout, get it all off your chest as it were. Said it's worked for him in the past." I heard Edward chuckle and figured he was with Jasper more than Bella on this one.

They walked off to the porch where the others were gathered to watch. I noticed that Jacob had phased and was watching me intently. I turned towards Jasper uneasily, what was he up to ? "Good morning Miss Clearwater, how are you feeling this morning ?"

"OK I guess."

"Good, I've been thinking about you and it seems to me a waste to see so much potential languish." He watched me carefully "I think you need a good work out, get rid of some of that petty angst."

"and if I don't want a work out ?"

He started walking round me "Surely you would like to take me on wolf girl, you hate us remember, you blame us for everything that's gone wrong on you, so here's your chance to take it out on me."

I growled defiantly and I felt my anger rising.

"That's better, go on tag me if you can" like lightning he danced in, punched me on my shoulder and danced out again.

"Oww that hurt you idiot". Anger rose in me and I spun to defend myself.

He grinned and shifted position, the next moment I was flying through the air upside down and landed on my back.

"Too easy", he mocked me," come on you can do better than that." Anger rose in me again, possibly he was altering my emotional state but there was nothing I could do about that. I rolled over and staggered to my feet, this time I saw his move and spun out of his lunge but he rolled grabbed me by legs and spun me up into the air.

I twisted and turned ready for my landing, only to land in the river !

That did it, now I was really mad, mad at the lot of them. I phased as I crawled out of the river, shaking the water and mud off my fur and stalking up the lawn.

_about bloody time Leah, I've been waiting for you to phase !_

_you can piss off too._

Jacob chucked, _now we get to see how good he really is, remember the moves he taught us for the new borns_, and he played back his memories of Jasper teaching the other Cullen's how to fight. _He wont bite you so don't bike back, just play tag_.

I watched Jasper carefully, watching the way he moved his weight, and lunged. He parried and spun me round.

I dug in my claws and sprang again, feeling him somersault over me as I arched my back and spun again, twisting and turning as fast as I could but he was so fast it was impossible to tag him.

I made a mistake, stumbled and he grabbed my hind legs, hurling me into the air, onto one of the huge cedar trees.

_I'm not a bloody ape_ I thought as I fell through the branches desperately trying to grab something.

_Focus Leah _thought Jacob_ you can do this._

I dug my claws into a branch, used my tail as a counterbalance and leapt down the tree branch by branch like a cat, going faster and faster as my confidence grew and the branches got thicker. I shot out from under the tree straight at Jasper.

Our figures blurred with speed and I felt Seth's voice in my head encouraging me to go faster faster.

I caught Jasper on his side and he staggered back. I lunged forward but he was faking, in a flash he was over my back, grabbed my back legs and I was airborne. I twisted and turned only to land in the river AGAIN.

I was beyond mad now as I crawled out of the river. Jasper stood there grinning, beckoning me on. As I shook out my fur a distant memory surfaced, one of my father's stories about our legends, of the time before we became wolves, when we could influence the animal spirits around us. I paused at the edge of the lawn and let my mind reach out.

I could feel the little insects in the lawn, the bigger insects in the bushes beyond the lawn, the pigeons on the branches of the cedars and at the top of one of the cedars, a hawk watching the pigeons. This had possibilities.

I reached out to the hawk and saw the lawn through her eyes, the wolf by the river, the creature in the middle of the lawn, the hawk was fearful of that creature but we could work together. We dived off the tree soundlessly, as I sprang across the lawn digging my claws in for maximum grip as I hurtled straight at Jasper, who posed as a matador and waved me on. We screamed in terror and broke away but the scream was enough to distract Jasper as I lunged. He moved so fast, his understanding so quick, but I still caught him in his ribs as he twisted.

Ahhh it was like running straight into a brick wall. My neck and shoulders ached in agony and I sat back on my haunches my vision blurred.

As my vision cleared I saw Jacob in front of me, growling, his back to Jasper.

_Traiter_

_Leah_ he snarled, _back off_

As I backed off I saw Alice and Carlisle with Jasper, a good 30 feet away lying on the ground. _Hah serves him right_ I thought.

_How did you do that_

_Do what ?_

_Take him out like that !_

I blinked but before I could answer a Barbie doll's voice laughed right behind me. "That will teach him not to under estimate you wolfie, but I will not make the same mistake."

I spun snarling to face a grinning Rosalie. "I heard you think you are fast, well catch me if you can !"

And with that she was off like a shot from a gun.

_Go Leah go_, yelled Jacob in my head, _I'll be right behind you._

I launched myself after Rosalie, slowed by the river then building up to full speed in the woods. I was on her trial, her scent clear ahead of me. I could feel Jacob's presence behind me urging me on ever faster. I concentrated on speed, on stretching myself further and faster. I might have been the fastest wolf in the two packs but Rosalie was just as fast, sprinting through the forest, heading for the mountains. We left Jacob behind us even though I feel him racing as fast as he could.

The ground grew more and more undulating but that did not slow Rosalie who seemed as adapt racing through the trees as along the ground and I fell back a little but picked that up again as the ground levelled off below a steep rock cliff. My stride faltered as I realised that Rosalie was heading straight for the rock face, but I was going to go wherever she was going to go and I charged on. She seemed to slow a little, letting me catch up to within a few paces then as approached the rock face she took a long stride and jumped upwards. I skidded round watching her plant both feet on the rock face and using it like a giant trampoline to spring herself back over my head showering me with rock fragments and laughing as she went. I dug furiously with my claws but the rocky ground gave little traction and I slid sideways into the rock face. Oshhh that hurt, as all the wind was knocked out of me. _Leah are you OK ? _

_Yeah I'm OK, or I will be in a minute when I've had a chance to recover._

_What happened ?_

_Rosalie and I played chicken with a rock wall and I lost._

Rosalie reappeared watching me warily. I growled and tried to move, my front legs were Ok but my back legs, well they weren't working right although it didn't feel like I had actually broken anything.

"Let me know when you have recovered and a straight race back to the house. Then everyone will see who is the fastest, OK ?" asked Rosalie.

I nodded and lay down, stretching my back and legs to help my body recover.

Jacob arrived panting. _Hey kiddo, how r u doing ?_

_I'll live, Barbie wants to race me back to the house when I am back on my feet !_

_Why ?_

_How the hell do I know ? says she wants everyone to see whose fastest, but what's she trying to prove ?_

I pulled myself to my feet and took a couple of steps to make sure everything was working again. There was still pain in my back legs but I feeling much better. My stomach growled, all this exercise and healing must really be burning the calories !

Rosalie tilted her head, "Ready ?" and with that she was off again flat out down the hillside.

I groaned and went after her with Jacob shouting encouragement in my head. I heard other wolf voices shouting encouragement as well.

Once we were clear of the mountains I opened right up almost flying through the air and with a last burst and a long long leap cleared the river in one bound. Exalted I spun round to watch Rosalie casually leap the river and walk up the lawn.

"Clearwater you are the fastest thing on 4 legs that I have ever seen. You win. As you are the one who is naked and stinking of river mud, your prize is that you get to shower and clean up in my bathroom and you can have any of the clothes in my closet."

"Noooo shouted Emmett, she will stink out our bathroom ,and our bedroom !"

"She won fair and square Emmett." and carried on walking straight past me to the house. Turning at the front door she grinned at me "come on then !" and went into the house.

I looked round bemused, trying to get my breath back. Jacob was just coming into view, his tongue hanging out and panting, a happy grin on his face, Emmett was on the porch scowling, next to Carlisle and Esme who were watching me cautiously, waiting to see if I would do. _Go on Leah, take her up on her offer_ urged Jacob. Well why not, could be fun trashing their bathroom !

I paced forwards and realised that I was not going to be able to open the front door as a wolf. I sighed and phased back, opening the front door to a long wolf whistle from Emmett. Oh well every wolf in the pack had seen me naked at one time or another. I followed Rosalie's scent upstairs and through the door of her bedroom, where I hesitated. Rosalie was sitting on a window seat gazing out of the open window into the distance, she waved me towards where I presumed their bathroom was.

Their shower was large, hot and just what I needed after two landings in the river, one collision with Jasper and one collision with a rock wall. I felt myself relaxing and had to remind myself that I should be hating this, hating them. Reluctantly I switched off the shower, wrapped myself in a towel and walked back into the bedroom. Rosalie was still sitting in the window seat, still looking out of the window.

"Errr thanks, how is Jasper ?"

"He's alright, it takes more than that to injure one of us. Actually he's better than alright, keeps saying that he knew you had talent. Alice was very upset though, he had to persuade her not to shred you to pieces."

I shuddered, fighting Alice would be a whole different proposition to playing tag with Jasper.

"Jasper persuaded her to calm down as you had only done what he had asked. She relented but insisted that they leave. It's been driving her mental not being able to predict our future with you around and she has never seen Jasper laid out like that before, it really scared her."

"They are leaving because of me ?" I remembered Alice's phone call to Carlisle when we were at my mum's.

"They have already left"

She beckoned me over to sit next to her.

"When Carlisle changed me I was mad at him, at the others, at the world, at everything. Carlisle let me take my revenge on the men who assaulted me and left me for dead, but that did not ease the ache, or the sorrow. Then I found Emmett and he changed my life, saved me from myself."

"I like Emmett." I said, "He's like the big brother I never had".

She turned to face me, her face shining in the morning light. "He likes you too, he was proud of you for taking out Jasper, he and Jacob bet Jasper that you could do it. I thought he over estimated you but I was wrong about that."

I grinned, "My life would be a lot happier if I had someone like Emmett to share it with."

"I carried him over a hundred miles for Carlisle to save, 100 miles with the scent of his blood in my throat. I don't believe you are ready to do that."

Facing me now she continued. "l don't believe that you have ever had to struggle for anything Leah Clearwater and until you can you are not worthy of an Emmett."

She gestured in the direction of her closet, "Take your pick."

"Thanks, but we are not really the same size and I do have clean clothes in my tent."

"OK, whatever you prefer. Get dressed and we will go into town, there is something I want to show you."

With that she slid off the window seat and walked out of the bedroom. I followed, still wrapped in a towel. Carlisle and Esme were deep in conversation with Jacob. Emmett looked up and wolf whistled again.

I growled "In your dreams cub"

He chuckled "You looked better without a towel pup."

At the tent I grabbed some clean clothes and hung the towel on a branch. She looked at my shorts and tank top and made a face, "ready to go out ?" she asked.

I grinned "I guess so."

She sighed and led me to their garage. "You can drive, pick the vehicle of your choice !"

I gazed along the line of high performance autos, the big Mercedes, the shiny Volvo, the flashy BMW convertible, the mean looking Aston Martin and what looked like something fast and red at the far end, but the one that caught my eye, the only one for me was the Jeep. Big, powerful, go anywhere, it made the others look like toys and reminded me of Emmett. Rosalie saw me looking at the Jeep and sighed yet again, "Emmett is going to kill me, but the keys are in the ignition."

"Really, you mean really I can drive this", my voice moved up an octave. There was a growl from outside, Emmett had overheard our conversation.

"You are coming too Emmett." said Rosalie as we jumped in. I adjusted the seat and switched on the ignition as Rosalie bleeped the garage doors open. I felt the thump as Emmett landed in the back and twitched as he whispered in my ear. "Not one scratch pup".

I laughed and hit the throttle, we roared out of the garage and spun towards the driveway spraying gravel everywhere. The jeep was amazing, a joy to drive and Emmett need not have worried, I had no wish to scratch this baby.

We cruised into Port Angeles under a dull gloomy autumn day. Looked like it was going to rain any time now. Rosalie directed me to a parking bay on the broad walk. The town was bustling, people shopping, going to meetings, going to the docks, going about their normal everyday lives.

I turned to Emmett. "Thank you."

He looked surprised. "Thank you for believing I could beat Jasper." He chuckled and I grinned. "and thank you for letting me drive your Jeep."

"That's OK pup but don't do it again." We laughed

"Enough" hissed Rosalie.

I shrank back from her ferocious glare. "So why have you brought me here ?"

Rosalie composed herself, "Well if you are going to find your own Emmett to play stupid games with then it might help to have a plan. Look at all these people and there's billions of them on this planet."

"I don't know, I haven't thought about it."

"I can see that, so start thinking now !

I looked out the window at the stream of people walking by and remembered my dream the previous night. "Tall dark stranger, good dancer."

Rosalie scoffed, "So Mills and Boon, can you not be more original than that !"

"I got one, I got one." Emmett bounced up and down in excitement rocking the whole Jeep. Rosalie and I looked round but I could not see what he was getting so excited about. I heard Rosalie giggle, "Where ?" I asked.

"She's right there, dancing down the street to the music that's playing on her headphones."

She must have caught sight of us staring as she blushed, pulled her headphones off and darted into a shop.

I sank into my seat dropping my head until it rested on the steering wheel.

"You didn't say man or woman." Laughed Emmett and ruffled my hair again.

I just moaned, "Noo, not a woman."

Emmett stopped laughing and the Jeep was quiet. After a few moments he spoke in a much softer voice, "Why's that Leah ?"

I took a deep breath and sat up, looking straight ahead. "Ever since I first phased I have had to live with the thoughts of the other wolves, their thoughts of the women around them, their fantasies and as they imprinted, their feelings, their hugs, their kisses, their sex. It was awful, there was no escape. At least when I joined Jacob's pack I only had to deal with Seth's thoughts about women, but I still have nightmares about women."

"Edward could help you with that, he has a similar problem with hearing other people's thoughts, whether he wants to or not. Took him years to get the hang of ignoring them."

Rosalie asked, "What sort of nightmares Leah ?"

I leaned my head back against the head rest and closed my eyes, tears were forming. The Jeep was quiet again as they waited for me to speak. In the end the silence was too much for me. "Maybe I wont have a choice."

I tried to explain "Look every wolf that has imprinted so far has imprinted on a woman. I'm a wolf so does that mean that I will imprint on a woman even if I don't want to ?"

"Hmmm, interesting thought" murmured Rosalie, "But if Jacob is like a big brother to Nessie then perhaps you would be a big sister if you did imprint on a woman."

"Maybe." I agreed, but it's a reason why I'm not so keen on going looking for my Emmett, I might find his sister instead."

Emmett laughed, "That would be different !"

Rosalie smiled, "Hey,the right person is the right person, doesn't matter who or what they are. So let's be positive. Hobbies ?"

I wiped my eyes, "Outdoors life, hiking, camping, hunting that kind of thing."

"Education ?"

I made a face, "I never even finished school so that's not an issue."

"Emmett had a degree in Geography and a master's in Geology before I met him so you might want to rethink that."

"Really ! and since he's met you ?"

"Post grad psychology and sociology."

"Wow Emmett" I said turning to him "I would never have guessed." He pulled a face and I giggled. "so have you been psychoanalysing me ?"

"Of course, that's why Emmett bet you would take Jasper this morning."

"Really !"

"Aww Rosalie, you spoilt the game !"

Rosalie changed the subject, "Why don't you just go college somewhere like Washington state, you could still have gone home holidays if you had wanted. That would have got you out of La Push and away from the pack."

"I thought of that, but I was afraid, afraid that if I tried to suppress the wolf in me then it would jump out if I got angry or stressed. I might expose the pack secret, or worse hurt someone."

"How would your mum feel if you moved to New Hampshire with us ?"

I was surprised by her suggestion, the same one Bella had made.

"I thought you didn't like me !"

"I don't but Emmett likes you and we could teach you how to control your emotions, keep an eye on you until you were able to strike out on your own. The sooner the better."

"I don't know how mum would feel about that, she would want whatever is best for me but it's such a long way."

"Right, drive to your mum's, drop Emmett and I off at the end of our driveway and you bring the Jeep back later."

"I don't know where my mum is, she might be at Charlie's house."

Rosalie's hand had a phone in it. "Call her."

Mum was at Charlie's house and said to come right on over. It was a quiet drive back to Forks, I simply concentrated on my driving, trying not to think of leaving. When I dropped them off Emmett just said to take care of his Jeep and they were gone.

When I got to Charlie's house mum was surprised to see the Jeep but over the moon to see me and wanted to know how I was and what I had been doing. She had made sandwiches and cakes, guessing that I would be hungry, as we ate I briefly told her about my storytelling, playing tag with Jasper this morning and the drive to Port Angeles. "Mum, there are a couple of things I need your advice on,"

She settled back in her chair and waited for me to continue.

"They have invited me to go stay with them in New Hampshire."

"How do you feel about that Leah ?"

"It's not what I planned, but I didn't really have anything planned and maybe it would work out."

"Then you should go."

"But mum I don't want to leave you !"  
>"Leah, I have Charlie and Seth to look after me, or perhaps me to look after them !" Just stay in touch, let me know what you are doing and that you are safe."<p>

"I don't know how long I will be away for, all I know is that they are moving soon, today even."

"So soon !" she pursed her lips, "Well come and see us before you go, to say a proper goodbye."

"Yep sure."

The door burst open and in flew Seth.

"LEAH you were amazing, you totalled him, how did you do it ? Both packs are over the moon. Mum, any food ?

I rolled my eyes and mum laughed. "Help yourself to whatever's left."

"Actually mum that was the other thing I wanted to talk to you about."

Seth sat down next to mum, with a heaped plate."

"Tag with Jasper wasn't going too well. He threw me into a tree, can you believe it ! And he threw me in the river TWICE. The second time I was beyond mad at him. Mum I swear I heard dad's voice, the voice he used to use when he was telling us the old legends round the camp fire. It was the time before we were wolves, when we could reach out to all the animals around us."

Seth stopped eating.

"Well I reached out, found a hawk at the top of one of their trees. I forced her to swoop down at Jasper at the same time as I charged him. Her shriek of fear distracted him just enough for me to catch him full on. I feel awful mum, I put her life at risk just to play tag with Jasper."

Seth spoke first, "Wow you talked to a hawk !"

Mum was more measured, "Why was the hawk in danger ?"

"If I had got my timing wrong Jasper could have killed her before turning back to me and her death would have been my fault."

"Then you should go find her, apologise and make sure she is OK."

Seth choked, "Apologise, to a hawk !"

Mum turned to him, "Son you have much to learn about the ways of the spirit world. Leah is quite right to be concerned. " and she smiled at me. "Also Leah tells me she is moving to New Hampshire with the Cullen's."

Seth's jaw dropped, not a pretty sight as his mouth was full of half chewed food.

"But you hate them."

"I like Emmett and it was never personal, more an abstract hate. Consequences of their actions, so maybe it will work out OK. Speaking of which I had better get back to them and find out what's going on. Seth, you want a ride ?"

"Errr I wish, but Jacob said to meet him at his dad's", he's calling in to say goodbye before he leaves with Edward, Bella and Nessie."

"OK, mum catch you later."

She waved from the porch as I backed the Jeep onto the road and drove off.

When I got to the Cullen's there were a couple of trailer vans parked up in the driveway. Must have been a challenge to get them down the lane, but already they were half loaded, I could see the grand piano safely strapped down and covered with wrapping.

Esme came out as I stopped and walked over to me.

"How was your mum ?"

"She's OK, said I should go with you. All she asked was that I stay in touch. How do you feel about this, my coming with you ?"

"It will be a pleasure to have you stay with us. I hope I will get to spend more time with you. Today has been rather busy and as you can see the packing is not yet finished."

"Is there anything I can do to help ?"

She looked surprised, "Why thank you Leah, yes I would like that." And we spent the rest of the afternoon working with the haulage guys packing up everything that was not nailed down and even some things that had to be un-nailed.

Twilight, probably the best time of day for creatures like us, packing done, trailers escorted to the highway. All that was left was their Mercedes, Jasper's Jeep, my tent and the shell of a house. We stood in silence as darkness fell, Carlisle, Esme and I. All the others gone.

"What are you going to do with the house?" I asked

"Joiners are coming out in the morning to board it up." Replied Carlisle.

"Sounds like you plan to come back"

"We will wait until no one remembers us, that is our fate, to always be on the move, one house to the next so as not to draw attention to ourselves."

"If you come back you will create a whole new generation of wolves."

"Maybe, or maybe the genes will die out."

"As long as this house stands the pack will not relax. You are too closely bonded to this house, to much has happened here."

"Humans forget."

"We don't, we tell our legends to our children, to our children's children, we keep our memories alive."

Esme spoke up, "What do you suggest ?"

I knew then what I must ask them, even if it cost me their offer of a new life in New Hampshire.

"Ideally, take it down and grass over, let nature take back this place."

Carlisle took Esme into his arms and whispered, "It's our home."

"I know and I am sorry. I only ask this so that there is never another one like me, who has to go through what I have been through."

"Esme ?"

It sounded like Esme would be crying if she could, "My beautiful house."

"We can build again."

I waited for a few moments. "If you build again it needs to be far enough away that you do not trigger any more explosion of wolves."

Carlisle sighed. "How about outside the Olympic peninsula ?"

"That should be OK, we never patrolled that far out."

"Then I have a proposal for you Leah Clearwater, you can have our house and we will not rebuild on the Olympic peninsula as long as you agree to dedicate your life to helping others and be part of our family, a bridge between vampires, wolves and humans."

I gulped and looked back at the house. Was a building really that important ? Was I overdoing this ? I closed my eyes in contemplation and I knew my answer.

I nodded and reached out my hand to shake Carlisle's cold hand. Esme hugged me, her cold stone arms wrapped around my chest and I hugged her back, ignoring her vampire smell.

"Esme, we should be going and Leah you need to say goodbye to your mum and Seth. In the Jeep is the address of our house in New Hampshire, a cell phone and a family charge card to pay for fuel and any expenses. If you keep up a steady pace you should reach us within 5 days."

Esme pulled back from me. "Leah, I don't want the house knocked down by a stranger. After we have gone, would you set fire to it and arrange for the remains to be grassed over ?"

I stared at her in disbelief. "You want me to burn your house down ?"  
>She winced but nodded. Carlisle spoke up. "You will understand Leah, in time. For now would you do this for us."<p>

I nodded and Esme quickly kissed me on the cheek and they were gone.

I slumped against Jasper's Jeep, lost in thought. I heard a voice, she was calling me. I lifted my head in time to see a shadow flitter across the lawn. She flew to a branch near the Jeep and eyed me intently. I reached out with my mind and we were together again.

_I'm sorry little one, are you OK ?_

_Good, the evil ones have gone now and will not be back. Tonight I am to burn this house down so stay well away but from tomorrow this will be your land and you can hunt in peace._

_Go now, thank you_

As I pulled back she was gone and I smiled, relieved to have made my peace with her.

In the garage I found a spare fuel canister for the Jeep and walked back to the house, where I poured the fuel over the ground floor and threw a match in. As I walked back to the garage I heard a Whump as the fuel ignited. I did the same at the garage and walked back to the Jeep where I pulled the cell phone out of the glove box and called mum.

"Hi mum, the Cullen's are having a going away bonfire, just burning old rubbish. Could you get hold of Charlie and ask him to make sure the fire services don't respond. As soon as I've finished here I will come over to crash for the night. Then I can set off in the morning with a clear head.""

Then I called Sam's house. "Hi Sam, sorry to disturb you but I am at the Cullen's house and I need help. Could you send a couple of the boys over ?" Sam was surprised and wanted details but I simply said it would be clear when they got here.

I put the phone back and sank to my knees in prayer. I asked the spirits of my ancestors to forgive me for what I had done and hoped that my father would understand. The flames shooting out of the house looked similar to the flames in my dreams, maybe I could even see my father's face. Was he happy ? proud ? sad ? I cried as I grieved for my father.

Quill and Embry found me kneeling there, they must have been on patrol, Sam was not far behind. As soon as he saw me he phased back and walked over. "Leah, you OK ?

I got back to my feet and faced him, a little unsteady. "Hi Sam, thanks for coming over so quickly." I glanced up at the flames. "I'm OK Sam, it's over now, they are gone and they are not coming back." I paused. "Better send one of the boys to the end of the drive and make sure no fire engine or nosy neighbour comes looking." Sam turned to Embry, who nodded and vanished into the darkness.

I continued "They have promised not to rebuild within the Olympic peninsula." Sam looked surprised but waited for me to continue."

"They would like the site cleared and grassed over. Could you arrange that with the council ?"

"I am sure we can sort something out but what about you Leah ?

I took a deep breath, "I am to go with them Sam, that was part of the deal." And gestured to Emmett's Jeep.

"How do you feel about that Leah ?"

"It's a new start from me Sam, I've spoken to my mum and she agrees, so I will leave in the morning as soon as I am packed."

"What about Bella and Edward's cottage ?"

I had forgotten about the cottage. "I don't know, I guess that they will keep that to visit her dad as long as he is living here. I will ask next time I see them and let you know. As long as they plan their visits in advance I don't see it as being a problem."

More wolves arrived, news had spread. When the roof caved in it got too hot to be this close to the fire and Sam suggested that it was time I went to my mum's, they would look after the fire and make sure it did not spread. As I drove out the Cullen's drive for the last time, I heard the wolves howl into the night in celebration. The Cullen's were gone and they were not coming back.


	4. Part 2 Chapter 4 The Road That Stretches

All Twilight characters and storyline belong to Stephanie Meyers

**Leah Clearwater: Fire, Redemption and Salvation**

**Part 2 Chapter 4 : The road that stretches**

I woke half falling off the couch in Charlie's living room. I had been woken by the sound of mum and Charlie's voices in the kitchen. They were trying to speak quietly but with my hearing I could still make out the gist of the conversation. Charlie was concerned about the Jeep parked up front, he had bad memories of the last time he had seen that Jeep, the day Bella had gone to a baseball game at the Cullen's and come home so upset that she had stormed out. Also he was concerned about reports of a fire at the Cullen's house last night and the sound of wolves howling through the night, so he was going to wait to talk to me before going to the station.

Mum was trying to sooth him but Charlie was having none of that, as Fork's police chief it was his job to get to the bottom of what was going on around town. He had tried calling the Cullen's house but the line was dead. He had sent one of his officers out to the house but the driveway had been blocked off and he had been refused entry unless he had a warrant !

Oh great, couldn't the pack have been a bit more co-operative ! I rolled the rest of the way off the couch and landed on the floor with a thump. Mum and Charlie entered and I wondered if I should ask where mum had been sleeping last night but that might not be wise with the mood Charlie was in.

"Good morning mum, Charlie, apologies for crashing here, I was totally wiped out last night, it was a very tiring day."

"Good morning Leah" said mum, "How are you feeling this morning ?"

Charlie interrupted, earning him a glare from my mum, "What happened at the Cullen's last night ?"

"OK OK I will tell you what happened just let me go to the bathroom and I will be right back."

As I climbed at the stairs I heard my mum berating Charlie for starting in on me like that. I heard Seth snoring in what had been Bella's room, hmm didn't leave many options for where mum slept last night !

Leaving the bathroom I shook Seth awake before going downstairs. "Hey bro, I need you downstairs, right now."

When I got downstairs mum gave me a mug of milk, I sat back onto the couch and looked up at Charlie. "You know the Cullen's left yesterday. Well I was there until the end, everything packed away and the trailers shipped out. It was just me left with Carlisle and Esme. Bella had left earlier in the day with Edward and Nessie." I paused and he nodded for me to go on. "We talked about what they were going to do with the house, whether they were going to board it up, sell it, whatever." I paused again this time looking at mum; she was worried but nodded for me to go on.

Seth clanked down the stairs and sat on the bottom step.

"The Cullen's decided that as they were not coming back the best thing was to burn the house down. That's why I asked mum to call you and make sure no fire department vehicles were sent out." Charlie, mum and Seth were all shouting at the same time. I held my hands up and kept them there until they had quieted down.

"Bella and Edward still have their cottage in the woods; they will still visit you here in Forks. It's just that the main Cullen family will not be moving back to this area. They are going to rebuild outside the Olympic peninsula." Charlie looked slightly mollified but still had his police chief expression, Seth and mum still looked worried.

"The reason Emmett's Jeep is parked outside is that I am going to drive it over to their new house in New Hampshire. That's where I am going to spend the next few months, maybe longer, until I am ready to strike out on my own. I will come back here to visit but I may be away for a while. "Mum relaxed but Charlie was staring at her with a worried look, she obviously had not told him I was planning to move with the Cullen's.

"We didn't want any nosy neighbours poking their heads in asking questions so I asked Sam Uley if some of his boys could guard the place until the fire cooled down. I'm sorry Charlie that they were overzealous; they should have let your officer in. If you want I will take you there myself so that you can check it out." Charlie relaxed his police chief look, "That's Ok I will speak to Sam and we will sort it out between us."

Now I could relax, the hard part was over, "Mum any chance of breakfast, I want to get on my way as soon as possible and I need to pick up the rest of my bits from our house before I go." She nodded and turned back to the kitchen.

I turned to Seth, "Hey bro, I need a route to New Hampshire; Carlisle wants me there in 5 days."

"Sure, I will get right on it, there is a computer in my room that hopefully will work it out for you." I noticed that he said my room instead of Bella's room, he was obviously getting settled in just like my mum. I glanced at Charlie, he seemed happy to have mum and Seth around and I was relieved that everything seemed to be working out for them.

Charlie phoned Sam and headed off while we had breakfast. Then mum and I headed back to our old house, leaving Seth sorted out my route. At our house were visitors, Sam and Billy Black, I was surprised to see Sam. They followed us in and mum went through to the kitchen to make coffee.

"Sam, I thought you would still be at the Cullen's ?"  
>"I left Charlie with Jared and came straight back. We wanted to talk to you before you left."<p>

I nodded, watching them carefully. I still remembered with bitterness the way the council had treated me at my father's funeral.

"We would like to know exactly what you agreed with the Cullen's."

I shrugged, "house burn down, never building again on the Olympic peninsula. Gone for good."

Sam stirred uneasily. "We are to leave the cottage alone ?"

"As I said last night, I don't know but I will find out for you. In the meantime I suggest you keep an eye on it, make sure it is OK."

Billy nodded and Sam continued, "and you Leah, what about you ?"

I was testy now, "I am going to stay with them, new start and all that."

Billy spoke up then, "Look at me Leah, What exactly did they say to you about going with them ?"

I sighed, they would find out eventually, "I agreed to dedicate the rest of my life to helping others and be part of their family, a bridge between vampires, wolves and humans."

There was a gasp from mum; I turned to where she was leaning against the door from the lounge to the kitchen. "I'm sorry mum; I was going to tell you when I knew more about how that was going to work. I mean it's not like I am a doctor or anything !"

Sam helped my mum to a chair and I felt truly wretched, it was not fair to put my mum through this. I glowered at Billy Black for interfering.

He glowered right back, "You had no right to make that agreement with the Cullen's."

I growled, "I have every right, as Harry Clearwater's daughter."

Sam interceded "Leah, Billy is worried that Jacob won't come home if the Cullen's don't come back, and please tell Billy about the hawk."

I softened, remembering that Jacob was just as caught up in this as I was. "Jacob will still visit you Billy, even if I have to drag him here myself, you have my promise on that." He appeared relieved by my obvious sincerity.

"What happened was that I was losing a game of tag with Jasper, he threw me up a tree and into the river twice. The second time I was beyond mad but I remembered a story my dad used to tell us, of the time before we were wolves, when we could influence the animal spirits around us. I reached out, touching the animal spirits around me until I found a hawk. She was frightened but I forced her to dive at Jasper as they same time as I lunged. Her distraction enabled me to catch Jasper full on and I sent him flying."

I paused, watching Billy's eyes widen in surprise, "I am sorry, I should never have put the hawk in such risk just for a game of tag. I spoke to her last night and apologised. Told her that that the cold one's had left and were never coming back."

Billy's mouth opened and closed a few times. "Leah what you have done is very powerful and very dangerous, your own body is vulnerable when you take another animal's form. That is why our forefathers decided to be just one animal." I nodded.

"Only in our legends have there been warriors strong enough to possess animal spirits like you have described." His eyes darted to Sam. "We must discuss this quickly with the other elders." He looked back at me, his eyes speculative. "A powerful mystical warrior, a shaman perhaps ?" And off they went.

"To be a shaman would be a great honour." Said my mum quietly.

I went and hugged her, "I don't want any honours mum."

"I know child, but your father would be very proud of you."

Mum and I went through my room packing anything we thought might be useful in New Hampshire. At least I did not have to worry about a luggage allowance in the Jeep. We filled every bag that we could and cried, not knowing when we would be together again.

Seth arrived with his usual clatter bringing a travel plan and a sat nav from Charlie, which was thoughtful of him. Seth reckoned I had 3200 miles ahead of me, near enough due east. At an average 50 miles per hour over 5 days I would need to drive for 12 hours a day. I groaned and asked Seth to pick out overnight stops for me and call me later with the details.

Mum asked if I would like Seth to go with me, to keep me company on the long drive and Seth nodded happily. I shook my head, "Mum l will be fine and Seth needs to stay here to be with you. I will call every evening to let you know how far I have got."

Seth insisted on at least helping me load the jeep and check that the hardtop was on properly and that was a big help. We joked as we worked together, to hide pain of parting. Mum stood in the doorway watching us, tears streaming down her cheeks.

Then Billy and Sam were back, with some of the other elders, carrying a small package. They gathered round me and waited for Billy to speak. "We are in agreement that you should be our shaman and named Hawkwind, for you are blessed with the power of the hawk and fated to journey far beyond our lands. In your travels you will learn much wisdom and meet other tribes, as becomes a shaman. This shawl that has been in my family for many years and I give it to you now as a symbol of your office." With that he presented the package to me, which I opened to reveal an ancient shawl hand embroidered with animals.

I thanked Billy and the elders and carefully wrapped the shawl again. Some of the wives of the elders had brought food with them, which they gave to me for my journey. My mum was right, Dad would have been very proud of this moment.

Then after a last goodbye with mum and Seth, I climbed into the Jeep, started the engine and drove east, leaving behind my home and the ones I loved to travel to an uncertain future in a new land.

I drove across the peninsula to Bainbridge Island, where I took the ferry to Seattle. On the ferry, looking back at the mountains I was overcome with grief and loneliness. I sat on the deck and cried long silent tears as my homeland slipped further and further behind me. I could not call my mum or Seth, I did not want to upset them, who else could I call ? I pulled the Cullen's cell phone out of my pocket and called Esme, who listened sympathetically as I tried to explain why I was so upset.

By the time the ferry docked in Seattle the moment had passed, my emotions exhausted. Esme told me to drive carefully and to stop before I got too tired. Carlisle added that they were caught in a blizzard and that I should have the Jeep checked for severe weather conditions before I left the mountains. I called Seth and asked him to look up a suitable garage for me while I concentrated on driving as far as possible across Washington State and into Montana.

As dusk fell on day one I pulled off the interstate looking for the garage Seth had found on the internet. Didn't look like much from the outside and I was concerned when I pulled into the dark forecourt. The shop door opened and a young man came out.

"Evening ma'am, how can we help you ?"

"Hi, I asked my brother to call you, I am heading east and I have been warned that the weather is turning bad, could you check my Jeep out for me ?"

The lad beamed "My dad has stayed on to check your auto himself, I'll open the doors and you drive right on in."

I restarted the engine and drove through to the doors to the well-lit bay that he pointed to.

An older man stepped forward and I realised as well as probably being the young man's father he was also probably Native Indian, which was a relief.

"Good evening, you must be Leah, I am MJ senior and that there is MJ junior, your brother said you are heading east."

"Hi MJ, thank you for your welcome, I really appreciate you staying on to help me out. "

"Hey just glad to help out help a fellow native. Nice auto you have."

"It's my cousin's he has asked me to drive it across to New Hampshire for him".

He raised his eyebrows, "That's a long way, what takes you to New Hampshire ?"

I hesitated, "It's a long, long, story. Maybe another time."

He nodded, "We like long stories on the long winter nights, hope you take time out next time you pass."

I smiled, "That's a promise," then wondered if making promises I could not be sure of keeping was such a good idea.

"Look forward to it." He gestured to the office", Why don't you take a break while we have a look at your Jeep. My daughter Shola should be back there."

I walked over the office, knocked, felt stupid and walked in.

Shola looked up as I entered, mobile phone in hand. She looked like she had been crying.

"Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt you."

"It's OK, Matt I will call you back OK." She listened. "Customer has just come into the office."

Matt must have cut off the call as she looked at the phone in frustration. Then she looked up at me, upset. "Can I get you anything, coffee, soft drink ?"

"I'm good thanks, but do you have a washroom I can use to freshen up ?"

She gestured to the left and went back to staring at her cell phone.

Not my business I thought as I walked to the washroom. After freshening up I went back to the office stretching my muscles as I walked. I already felt all cramped up and my journey had only just started ! Shola was still staring at her phone, now all curled up with her chin resting on her knees.

"Hey Shola, how's it going ?" She ignored me and I shrugged.

Her dad came into the office at that point and glowered at his daughter, she glowered right back, something was going on here. His expression changed when he saw me and he beckoned me to follow him. Outside he apologised for Shola's behaviour, boyfriend problems and started listing his recommendations for Emmett's Jeep. Grill cover to stop the radiator from freezing, anti-freeze top up, snow chains in case I got caught in a snowstorm, a battery powered sump heater for overnight stops and a spare battery." He paused, "And you might like to consider a road maintenance sticker, flashing light and parka. We have found from experience that you will get more respect on the road if they think you are road crew."

Sounded good, "How much for all that ?"

"Full price $ 550 but for you $ 450." I hesitated wondering what the limit was on my Cullen family charge card. "Can I call my uncle quickly, just check that's OK as he gave me his charge card to use."

MJ nodded and I reached for my phone. Carlisle answered on the 2nd ring and agreed as soon as I had explained MJ's proposal. He asked if I want to track south to miss the worst of bad weather and I said I would chat to MJ about that.

MJ had been listening to my side of the conversation and answered thoughtfully, "You could track south but it would add considerably to your journey without necessarily being any easier if a frontal system is blowing south. Ask Shola to check on the internet for you. She can use my office computer.

We will need about half an hour and then you can be on your way."

I smiled in gratitude and headed back to the office.

Shola was now staring blankly at the office wall, clearly lost in thought. "Hey Shola, your dad would like you to check the weather out east for me, to see if I should track south. Said you could use his office computer."

She slowly refocused on the here and now and nodded, switching on the computer. "Where are you heading ?"

I smiled at the brusque reply, so teenager. "New Hampshire, I was going to drive due east and then swing south round Chicago."

"Wow, that quite a trek, what's taking you all that way?"

I paused to consider what would be the best response, thinking about the phone call I had overheard. I dropped into one of the office chairs, "It's a long story but quick summary would be that my boyfriend of two and half year dumped me for my cousin and I hope that leaving him behind will help me move on."

She looked more interested now and started typing keys on the computer keyboard. "I so know what you mean about boyfriend trouble." I waited for her to continue "Matt just gives me the run around all the time these days, like he doesn't like me anymore."

"How long have you two been together ?"

"Since the summer and I love him so much it hurts. We used to see each other every day but lately he says he needs time to study."

"Well that may be true, but what's he like when he's with you ?"

"He's OK but sometimes I think he is thinking of something else, not me. Right, it looks like a cold front is blowing south. Depending on your timing you might be better staying north, it will be colder but should be OK as long as they clear the snow from the interstate."

I paused again, agony aunt was not really my speciality but I had lived through enough teenage affairs to guess a number of outcomes for Shola, most of them not good.

"Thanks, guess I will stay with my original plan."

"Hope you find what you are looking for in New Hampshire." I laughed, I doubt it, I don't even know what I am looking for !"

She laughed with me, sounding more relaxed talking about me rather than about her. "So what are you looking for in a guy ?" and leaned closer to me with her eyes bright.

"Well I guess I haven't chosen too well so far but next time I want a guy who wants me and no one else. I would want him to be my best friend as well as lover."

"You don't ask for much do you !" We laughed again.

"When he takes me to a restaurant I want him to pay me more attention that the waitress." Her expression lost its focus. "I want me to be his first call of the day and the last call of the day." She jigged uncomfortably." And most important of all I want him to tell me every day how much he loves me." She sighed and I guessed that Matt failed those ideals.

"I embarrassed all my friends by hanging on to my ex when he was so obviously over me. I wish now I had listened to my friends earlier."

She closed her eyes in pain and I could imagine what her friends were saying.

"Well I had better go see how your dad is getting on with my Jeep."

MJ Snr and Jnr were finishing off as I walked out and MJ Jnr took me round my Jeep showing me the modifications they had made while his dad prepared the check for me. Reminded me a lot of Seth, such an eager young pup.

I handed over Carlisle's card and said that I would stay on my original route, staying north of the weather front. "So where are you planning to stay tonight ?"

Punching in the PIN number "I plan to drive until I am tired then pull off at the first place I find."

"Why don't you stay with us, we would be delighted to have you with us." I tried to interrupt but he carried on. "It's dark already and soon the fog will come down and driving will be treacherous. Stay with us and you can be on your early tomorrow."

I had been about to insist that I was OK, didn't need any help, could manage myself but hesitated. To refuse his invitation would be rude, his comment about the fog worried me and also as a shaman I was supposed to meet people.

"Thank you MJ, that would be lovely, thank you."

His face brightened, "Jnr can ride with you and show you where our place is. I will phone my wife and follow on with Shola as soon as I have locked up."

Jnr was over the moon to get a ride in my Jeep and chatted away happily for the short drive to their house, where their mother Tallulah welcomed me and said how pleased they were that I had accepted their invitation. I helped Tallulah prepare supper while Jnr went to his room to do his homework. We chatted happily about family and friends, casual gossip typical of my home, where everyone knew everyone else. I relaxed with the familiarity of their home, then remembered to call my mum and Esme with a brief update on my progress.

Supper was a noisy affair with everyone chatting away about the day and asking me questions about my family and tribe. I restricted my answers, not sure of what I could and could not say and not wanting to accidentally say more than I should, but after we had eaten I asked if they would like to hear one of our legends.

They pulled back their chairs and settled down with expectant expressions. I smiled ruefully, telling stories was beginning to become a habit. I started with our legend of the fish eagle, knowing that was probably new to them, creating verbal images of the majesty of the eagle riding the air currents over the ocean waves. Then I told of our ancestors and animal spirits. Jnr looked sceptical, even when his father reminded him that they also had legends of animal spirits. When Shola also started being sceptical I challenged them to listen with me.

Taking their hands I asked them to open their minds, to listen for the animals around them. There was a little mouse close by, some rats down in the sewer. They made faces at that and their parents chuckled. Concentrate, in the bank on the other side of the stream are some rabbits and 3 doors down is a fox. He is sniffing round the hen house. There were some uneasy rustlings, how did you know they had chickens ? Jnr scoffed and said that they always had foxes coming round for the chickens. I smiled at him and closed my eyes. "Listen, hear how he is giving up on the chickens and is going to look in the rubbish bins instead. He is looking next door now, they have some tasty chicken bones but not much meat left on them. Now he is at your bin, not much worth eating in your bin." Tallulah laughed. "If I tempt him he will come and look for food through our window." And there was a faint scrabbling at the dining room window. The children nearly jumped out of their seats and even their parents looked uneasy.

I chuckled, "There he has gone now, looking for richer pickings at the diner. So you see there are animal spirits and maybe you should be less sceptical about your old legends."

Jnr wanted me to search for other animals but I said that was enough for tonight. Tallulah started clearing up and asked Shola to set up the guest bed in her bedroom for me. I offered to help clear away but Tallulah insisted that I get ready for bed as I must be very tired, which was certainly true. Shola's bedroom was the usual teenage girl mess and I apologised for her having to share with me but she seemed happy enough.

When we were in our beds she rolled onto her side to look across to my bed. "Leah, how did you do that, with the fox ?"

I wondered how best to answer her question, "I don't know for sure, I guess that I am more attuned than most to the animal spirits around us."

"Could you teach me ?"

I grunted, thinking of the fight with Jasper, "It's not the sort of thing you can be taught, it's more what you believe in and Shola, it depends on the people around you, if they believe in you."

"Matt says our old legends are just superstitious nonsense. "

"Oh really, and what do your other friends say ?"

"We used to tell each other stories from our legends and pretend that we were in legends ourselves."

I grinned at her, "Well you could invite them over and tell them what happened tonight ?"

"Yeah, I could, would be nice to have a sleep over like we used to when we were little."

I yawned, "night night Shola, happy dreams."

"Night night Leah, sleep well and thank you."

I dreamed of the fox and wondered if he had found something to eat, then the fox became the hawk and I was flying at Jasper who became Emmett. Then my recurring dream of a moon lit dance on a desert road with the faceless stranger.

I woke before dawn, hearing the sounds of Shola's mum and dad moving around. I got up as quietly as possible so as not to disturb Shola and slipped into the bathroom to get washed and dressed. When I went through to the kitchen Tallulah had made breakfast for me and a packed lunch for me to take in the car. Over breakfast I thanked her for their hospitality and asked if there was anything I could do for them in return. She asked what I thought of Shola and if she had said anything about Matt. I stopped eating. "We did talk last night and it is so difficult to know what to do for the best. However, I think she should spend more time with her other friends and I suggest perhaps a sleepover, like you used to do when she was younger ?"

Tallulah nodded and looked thoughtful, "That would be a squash now that they are older and bigger but I guess we could arrange something. Hey eat up, I didn't mean to stop you eating." She bustled around making breakfast for her children. I finished my breakfast and went Shola's room to pack.

Shola was still all sleepy so I gave her a quick hug, whispered a blessing and went out to my Jeep. MJ Snr had cleared the ice off the windscreen and gave me directions back onto the interstate. I said goodbye to MJ and Tallulah and drove off, heading east again, wondering what the future held for Shola.

Day two was a long high speed drive across Montana and North Dakota, stopping at Dickinson as dusk fell. My only respites were for gas and to phone Mum and Esme with progress reports. I told them where I had stayed in Montana, mum was happy and said they sounded like good people but Esme was more cautious and made me promise not to get distracted from my journey.

Day three was another long drive down through Minnesota and Wisconsin, stopping at Eau Claire as desk fell and the weather closed in. The next morning the car park of the motel was buried in snow, my Jeep just one of the mounds in the car park. After breakfast I dug my car out along with everyone else who needed to get back on the road. The radio was full of bad weather warnings and it sounded like they were struggling to keep the interstate open. My Jeep started first time thanks to the sump heater and I helped several people by using my winch to pull them out of the snow and day four was a long slow frustrating crawl south. Mid-morning the interstate ground to a complete stop. It was still snowing but the worst of the blizzard had passed.

I got out of my car and stood on the bull bars at the front of the Jeep to try and see what the holdup was, but all I could see were stationary vehicles and wagons stretching into the distance. I thought about pulling on the yellow flashing beacon and driving up the hard shoulder and I thought about Esme's instruction to just focus on driving. In the end I figured that if going to help out would get me and everyone else on the move then that had to be better than just sitting here doing nothing. I pulled out the Hi-Viz parka, clipped the yellow beacon on to the roof bar and decided it would be a good idea to put the snow chains on as I would be going over virgin snow. I drove slowly along the hard shoulder for about 2 miles before I found a jack knifed truck and a couple of dented cars. There were a group of people milling around arguing but no police, so I got out and walked over. One guy was arguing loudly about whose fault it was and who was going to pay for repairing his vehicle. Idiot I thought.

I turned to the guys nearest me and asked if anyone was hurt. As soon as they saw my parka they called everyone else over and I was suddenly the centre of attention. "Hey can your Jeep pull that rig out of the way."

I nodded, "First, anyone injured ?"

A little guy in hidden inside a huge parka answered, "The truck driver injured his neck, my wife is looking after him in our car, she's a nurse."

"OK, can anyone drive the truck enough to help get it onto the hard shoulder ?"

An old fella at the back put his hand up, "Used to drive trucks."

"OK, here's the plan." I hesitated, what did I know about rescuing trucks ! "Driver, in the truck see if you can get the engine started."

"Anyone with a vehicle in the way of getting the truck off the road go move your vehicle now. We need space to work."

"The rest of you help me to get my winch onto the tailgate of the trailer. I will pull the trailer backwards to help get it moving. Let's go."

It all worked, truck got moved out of the way. The line of vehicles started moving again and although I had to help a couple of vehicles that just spun their tyres on the whole it seemed to be going OK.

The idiot mouthing off about his insurance shut up and drove off when he realised everyone was going without him. The injured truck driver got taken off for medical attention and I was just about to turn off my beacon and move into the line of vehicles when the police finally arrived.

"Hey, what happened here."

"This rig jack knifed. I helped tow it out of the way. The driver was injured but he has been taken to a medical centre."

"Well, looks like you got it all sorted. There's loads of other problems caused by that weather front so we need to get going, but good job." And with a wail of their siren they were gone.

By the time I got to Chicago the road conditions improved and I pressed on through the dark trying to make up for lost time, stopping in the end at Lorain in Ohio. When I called in my progress reports both my mum and Esme were worried about me, especially as I was travelling alone so I reminded them that wolves could easily cope with this weather. I didn't mention the traffic incident; I didn't want any lectures on not getting involved !

Day five was a long drive across New York State and into New Hampshire on I90. At Chicopee I turned north on I91 on the last leg of my journey. I was fed up with driving and I was fed up with the Jeep which was way too noisy at speed to be comfortable on long journeys. It was late by the time I stopped in Lebanon to wash the Jeep and clean it up as much as possible before taking the Enfield road and slowed down looking for the road to the Cullen's house.

The sat nav became less and less reliable as the road climbed into the mountains. The night was pitch black and trying to pick up the road signs was difficult. I had to turn round and retrace my path a couple of times but at last I was on the side road to their house, the second on the right. The house was in darkness except for a dim porch light, and I would have doubted that I had the right house, but Carlisle stepped out of the front door and waved to me.

When I drove up to the house Carlisle had opened the barn doors and motioned for me to drive straight in and park next to their Mercedes. "Hi Leah, good to see you. How are you feeling ?"

"Hi Carlisle, I'm knackered, glad that drive is over."

"I bet you are, come on in, bring just what you need for tonight, you can finish unloading in the morning."

Esme met me at the front door and showed me round the small farmstead. The front door opened directly into the living room. At the back of the living room was a door to the kitchen and to the side a short corridor leading to the bedrooms and a bathroom. Everywhere reeked of vampire.

My bedroom was small but functional and after dumping my bags on the bed, I opened the bedroom window as wide as possible to let some fresh air in.

"Would you like anything to eat or drink."

"Something to drink would be good but I am too tired to eat."

We went back to the kitchen and she fetched me a carton of milk.

"Esme, Do the lights work ?"

"Oh, sorry." And with that she turned the lights on. I rolled my eyes at the vampires not having any lights or heating on. I was not that bothered about the heating but lights were good.

By the light of the lamps I could see that the house was traditionally furnished, a complete contrast to their house in Forks. "Your furniture ?"

"Is in storage as there is no space here for it. I am busy making plans for an extension, would you like to see what I have done so far ?"

I shook my head, "Could we do that in the morning ? Right now I just want to crash."

She smiled, "You go ahead, we are going to go hunting now but we will be back by sunrise."

I just about managed to brush my teeth and unroll my sleeping bag before collapsing into a dreamless sleep.


	5. Part 2 Chapter 5 It's a new dawn

All Twilight characters and storyline belong to Stephanie Meyers

**Leah Clearwater: Fire, Redemption and Salvation**

**Part 2 Chapter 5: It's a new dawn. It's a new day. It's a new life for me:**

I woke at sunrise the next morning, shattered after all the driving over the last 5 days but feeling the strangeness and quietness. Was it always this quiet in a vampire's house ? I let my mind wander and whatever animals had lived in the nooks and crannies of the house had obviously moved out as the new tenants moved in! Now that I was listening properly I could hear the distant drum of the occasional vehicle out on the state road.

I rolled out of bed, grabbed a towel and padded through to the bathroom. Sharing a bathroom with a couple of vampires was going to take getting used to. I checked to make sure that I had left the bathroom clean and went back to my room to get dressed. I looked at my pile of mismatched cases and bags, then at the old fashioned wardrobe and chest of drawers. I would sort it all out after breakfast, in the meantime I grabbed a clean top and shorts to put on.

Dressed I made my way cautiously down the short corridor to the lounge, the curtains were still drawn making the room dark but I could not see anyone there. I walked to the kitchen; the curtains were open so it was brighter here, but still no one around. Their bedroom door had been closed so it was possible that they were in their bedroom. The back door was unlocked so I went outside to look round the yard and stopped in shock.

The Cullen's were seated eyes closed on a bench against the back wall of the house, facing east, with the early morning sun shining on them. They sat still apart from the occasional rise of their chests as they breathed slowly, their eyes closed. Even though the temperature must have been below freezing they were only wearing lightweight short sleeved tops and slacks and the sun's rays sparkled off their bare skin reflecting a rainbow of light around the yard.

I stood in stunned awe of the beautiful sight before I recovered my composure and went to sit on the ground next to them. "Good morning Esme, Carlisle, what a fabulous sunrise."

A slight pause then Esme answered. "Good morning Leah, these sun rises are such a pleasure, something we did not often have at Forks."

We sat in silence for a while simply enjoying the feel of the sun then I murmured the old "Feeling Good" lyrics, which felt so right for that moment:

It's a new dawn

It's a new day

It's a new life for me

And I'm feeling good

There was pause then Esme continued:

Birds flying high you know I feel

Sun in the sky you know how I feel

Breeze drifting on by you know how I feel

Carlisle and I both joined in the chorus.

"Thank you Leah, that's a lovely song, so perfect for a morning like this. Would you like some breakfast ?"

I jumped up, knowing that they would not want any breakfast, "I will go and fix myself something while you carry on enjoying the sunshine." And went back into the kitchen.

Esme followed me anyway "I've not had time to do a proper shop so we only have the basics for now. "

I pulled open the fridge door and felt sick. I closed the fridge door and rested my head on my hands trying not to hyperventilate.

Esme sounded concerned, "Leah what's wrong?" then she must have remembered what was in the fridge next to the basics she had mentioned. "Oh no, I'm sorry, I should have mentioned that some of Renesme's blood supply is in the fridge as they didn't have room for all of it in their fridge."

It was a stark reminder that I lived in a vampire house where the basic food source was blood.

I stood up slowly, still feeling queasy; right now I didn't feel too good. "On second thoughts maybe I will just skip breakfast."

"Nonsense Leah, you need breakfast to keep you going through the day. Your mum told me you normally have pancakes or waffles for breakfast and there are both in the fridge, along with a couple of cartons of milk."

I took a deep breath, pulled the fridge door open and found what was suitable for my breakfast. The waffles needed toasting, toaster on the side. Pancakes needed a frying pan, which was on the range but the range did not feel hot.

Esme noticed and sighed, "I'm sorry Leah it's a solid fuel range and I have not got round to lighting it up. I'm planning to replace it with a gas range; they are so much more convenient."

"That's OK, I have the waffles to be going on with and I will fire up the range after breakfast. Would you like me to also set up the fire in the lounge ready for later ?"

"Thank you Leah that would be a big help, Carlisle can show you where the wood pile is."

"Any syrup or honey for the waffles ?"

"There is some in the cupboard next to the range. We need to make a list of what we need to buy in and I will go shopping tonight."

"Esme, I used to do the shopping for mum and I would be happy to do so for you as well."

She smiled brightly, "Thank you Leah, it's going to a pleasure having you stay with us. How about we go shopping together later, that way I can show you where the shops are ?"

We carried on chatting while I ate my breakfast. Alice's forecast was that the day would cloud over later and they were all planning to meet here at dusk. They had all been told that I had burnt down their house at Forks. Jacob had spoken to Sam about keeping the cottage on and reminded Sam that both Bella and Renesmee were Forks born and breed.

I asked what the reaction had been to the news that I had burnt down their house. Esme paused, "They are upset but we told them we had agreed so I don't think there will be too much of a problem. I suggested that tonight you tell them the events of our last day in Forks from your perspective. They would all especially like to know how you won the tag fight with Jasper. "I nodded; it seemed that I was going to have to get good at storytelling.

I put my plate in the sink "Is the hot water electric or does it run off the range ?"

"I don't know. Carlisle, do you know what heats up the water ?"

"The electrics don't look that good here so it's probably best if we use the range for now, so let's see if we can get it going."

We went back out in the yard and found a half empty wood pile and a solitary bag of coal. Esme and I brought in an armful of wood each and Carlisle brought in the coal. Then Carlisle went off to phone through an order for more coal and to check with the council if we could harvest wood from forest behind the small holding.

I opened the fire door on the range and Esme passed me a small brush and pan to clear the ash. It had obviously not been used for a while and I was worried about the state of the back boiler and pipes but went ahead and built the fire up with kindling and some coal. Once it was alight I went to make up the fire in the lounge. "Esme, how do you feel about me making up the fire ? I know you don't need the heat and I am worried that you don't want a fire."  
>She laughed, "You are right that we don't need the fire and if it was just ourselves I would not go to all the bother of making it up, but it does have a lovely smell and reminds me of my childhood."<br>We checked the range to see how the fire was going and I added coal to build up the heat and hopefully produce some hot water.

Carlisle came back through to the kitchen "Coal is ordered and will be here tomorrow morning, Leah can you supervise them and sign off the delivery note ?" I nodded. "I have checked with the council and they say we can cut wood for ourselves as long as it is only for domestic consumption."

I nodded again and replied, "Then how about I make use of the good weather to make a start on cutting firewood." Carlisle looked surprised, "I used to watch my father do it and I would like the opportunity to stretch my muscles after driving for 5 days."

"Well if that's alright with you then that would be a big help, thank you."

"See Carlisle, it is going to be so nice having Leah with us." Beamed Esme. I forced a smile.

"There is actually something else that we would specifically like you to do for us," added Carlisle.

There are three homesteads on this track. We already owned the one at the end, which Edward and Bella are using; we bought this one and tried the buy the one nearest the road as well. However, they would not sell even though we offered them well above market value. All we know about them is that their names are Dai and Eleanor Thomas. We would like you to go round on our behalf to say hello and find out as much as you can about them. Having them so close to us is an issue and we need to be very careful not to arouse their suspicions. "

I could understand why the Cullen's could not go round during daylight and it would be odd if they only went round at night. I nodded, "What do I tell them about our arrangement here ?"

"I have been thinking about that, the simplest explanation is that we are your aunt and uncle on your step father's side. We have moved here as I have just taken up a teaching post at the medical school in Lebanon and our son and his wife are in the end homestead. They are attending Dartmouth College."

I turned to Esme, "Do we have anything I could take round as a gift ?"

She shook her head, "We could make cookies once the range has warmed up ?"

"Perfect, in the meantime I will go chop some wood." And that was what I did for the rest of the morning. There was a simple pleasure in wielding the axe and cutting the logs. I could feel my muscles stretching and warming with the rhythm of my swing. By lunch time I had made good progress but knew that we would need much more to see us through the winter.

By now the range was hot enough to bake cookies and Esme and I worked together in the kitchen. It felt so normal, except for the blood in the fridge. While the cookies baked Esme showed me the plans she was working on for remodelling the homestead. She had added a complete wing for me so that I could be independent, coming and going without going through the main house. She laughed when I called it a granny annex. I was surprised and concerned that they were planning to go to so much trouble on my behalf but she said that they wanted me to feel that this was my home. At the back of the house she had walled in the yard, added a fully glazed roof and taken out the back walls of the house to create a large open living area. The living room at the front of the house would become a reception room for any human visitors they might have.

While Esme put the cookies on a rack to cool I went through to the bathroom to shower now that we hopefully had hot water. The shower was a trickle but eventually I was cleaned up and with a change of clothes half way presentable, but I was running out of clean clothes. "Esme, is there a washing machine here, I need to do some laundry soon."

"Ahh, not that I have found so far and I guess we have got used to Alice always buying us new clothes ! Do you think I should add a washing machine to my plans for the new kitchen ?"

I chuckled, "Well it might be handy if you could find space for a utility room somewhere with washer, dryer, somewhere to wash down and dry coats and boots."

She pursed her lips and bent over her plans.

Looked over her shoulder, "How about in that huge annex you have there for me, Esme I have never had a walk in closet in my life. You could use that space for a utility room."

She shook her head and I started to put the cookies on a plate to take with me. I was covering the cookies with a towel to protect them when she turned to me.

"I know that you wanted to go shopping with me but it might be best if I go while you are next door, then we will be ready before the others come over this evening. I promise I will show you round town tomorrow." I nodded reluctantly.

"So shopping list ?" Esme asked.

I closed my eyes and recited my mum's shopping list from memory. I added a few things for cleaning the bathroom and kitchen. When I opened my eyes Esme already had her coat on and followed me out of the door calling to Carlisle to let him know where we were going. When she told him my shopping list he insisted on going with her to help with the trolley. I apologised but was shooed off towards our neighbours

The sky was beginning to cloud over as I walked down the track to the Thomas homestead. It was about the same size as ours, but set in a larger plot of land, with space for a barn. One of the two chimneys was smoking, from it's position I guessed that the kitchen range was on but not the lounge fire. The plot was neat and tidy but there was no evidence of any farm equipment, perhaps stored in the barn for the winter but I was surprised at the lack of farm animals, other than a few chickens pecking at the dirt. On the drive way was an old style Ford pickup, which was also clean but bumped and rusted with age. At the front of the house was a flagpole with a flag at half-mast.

As I got closer I saw that there were flower borders, cleared and turned over for winter. The wood siding was showing signs of wear and tear and some of the roof felts were coming loose. There was an air of genteel decline about the place, so I was not surprised when an elderly man answered my knock on the door.

"Good afternoon sir, my name is Leah Clearwater and I have just moved in next door." I paused letting the gentleman look me over then continued. "My uncle and aunt apologise for not coming round themselves but they have been very busy with the move and my uncle has started a teaching post at Lebanon Medical centre." I paused again letting the gentleman catch the significance of my opening remarks, in particular that my uncle was a teacher at the hospital, a post that should attract instant respect in this community.

"Good afternoon Miss Clearwater, I am Dai Thomas." His voice had a strange lilt but was clear and strong. He held out his hand to shake mine and ushered me in.

"Eleanor we have a visitor, Miss Clearwater has just moved next door with her Uncle and Aunt."

An elderly woman came into the lounge from the kitchen. "Good afternoon Miss Clearwater, I am delighted to make your acquaintance."

"Good afternoon ma'am, I have brought some cookies for you that my aunt and I made for you this morning." And I handed her the plate of cookies.

She smiled and asked me to take a seat. While Dai lit the fire Eleanor asked where we were from and about my Uncle and aunt. I stuck to our pre-arranged story and once Dai was sat down opposite me she went back to the kitchen to make tea for us. This gave me chance to ask about them. They had two children, Ivor had been a policeman but had died in an auto accident not long after graduating from the local police academy, I noticed the family photographs spread around the lounge, Ivor's photographs with a black edging. They had buried his ashes under the apple tree in the back yard. I wondered if that was why they had declined to sell the homestead to the Cullen's. They also had a daughter, a teacher in a town close to Boston, married with two children of her own. They came to visit in the school holidays, and would be here next for the Easter holidays.

Eleanor entered with a pot of tea, milk jug, cups and the cookies on a tray. I was presented with a tiny cup which she filled with hot tea, added a dash of milk and plate with a cookie. The cup was so small that I could have sipped the tea in one go. Dai, seeing my surprise explained that English tea was one of their few pleasures. His parents had brought the tea set from England when they immigrated to the USA in the early 1900's. I thought of how delicate the cup and saucer were, so very carefully put them down on the side table next to me.

I took a deep breath and volunteered that the homestead at the end of the track had been taken by my cousin and his wife, who had just started at Dartmouth College. They were busy trying to catch up with missing the start of the semester and looking after their young child. They nodded obviously used to students studying at Dartmouth. Dai commented that they had received an offer to purchase their homestead and asked if I knew anything about that. He might be elderly but still sharp. I agreed that my Uncle had been interested in also buying this homestead for his daughter and her husband who were postgraduate students at Dartmouth. However, they had found a house on the other side of Lebanon so they were settled now, although my uncle would be happy to renew his offer if they wished to sell at some point in the future.

Dai and Eleanor exchanged uneasy glances. "We do not want to sell, this house has been our home since we were married, our son is buried in the back and when our turn comes we want to be buried with him." I nodded, "Of course, and I will explain your wishes to my uncle when I see him tonight."

Eleanor changed the subject, asking what my plans were. I explained that I had no plans as such. I was going to help my aunt with the house and look for part time work so that I could also study part time. I chuckled and told them of having to chop firewood this morning to build up our wood supply for the winter. Dai smiled, "I heard you this morning, that was good stroke you had there, nice and steady, not too fast not too slow." He sighed, "I used to be able to do that myself but unfortunately age has caught up with me."

I offered to chop wood for them too, said that I enjoyed the exercise. They declined saying that they would manage with what they had from the last time their son in law had visited. I pressed saying that I would bring wood round in my Jeep unless they let me chop for them. Dai laughed and said that I was welcome to bring my axe round anytime to chop wood.

Eleanor asked if we had any livestock. I explained that with travelling such a long distance we had not brought any animals but that it would be nice to get some chickens for fresh eggs. She jumped up and went to the kitchen, returning with a bowl of eggs for me to take back to my aunt as thanks for the cookies. I worried that they needed the eggs for themselves but accepted graciously knowing how upset they would be if I made a fuss.

Dai asked if I knew anything about keeping horses. Surprised I said not. Apparently they had an elderly mare called Bertha which had been their daughter's horse. They offered to show me Bertha the next time I visited and I asked if I could perhaps bring my niece. Eleanor smiled happily and asked how old she was. I hesitated, thinking of how rapidly Renesmee was growing. I said that she was a precocious 5 year old but worried about saying more than that. Dai lectured me on how dangerous horses could be and that my niece would have to be kept out of harm's way. In his opinion 5 years old was old enough to get into trouble and too young to stay out of trouble.

We chatted about children and how quickly they grew up, I talked about my younger brother, Seth, and how I was already missing him even though he had annoyed my daily while I was living at home. Time passed and as the light began to fail I apologised saying that I needed to get home to help my aunt make supper for the family as my cousins were visiting this evening. They escorted me to the door saying how lovely it had been to meet me and that I must come back soon. Eleanor hesitated and Dai gently reminded her, this is Leah Clearwater and she has just moved in next door with her uncle and aunt. She smiled and shook my hand; it's been lovely meeting you Leah. Dai also shook my hand and apologised for his wife, saying that her memory was not what is was."

As I walked up their drive I reflected on my visit. The Thomas's seemed nice enough, but isolated out here. Did not seem like they received many visitors and with their daughter living so far away I wondered if they were lonely and what would they do if one of them was ill ? Back home in La Push we knew everyone and took care of the elderly members of our tribe. Anyway, I had plenty to report back to the Cullen's.

_The song "Feeling Good" was written by Anthony Newley and Leslie Bricusse for the musical "The Roar of the Greasepaint - The Smell of the Crowd", though was made famous when performed by the legendary jazz artist Nina Simone._


	6. Part 2 Chapter 6 For Life

All Twilight characters and storyline belong to Stephanie Meyers

**Leah Clearwater: Fire, Redemption and Salvation**

**Part 2 Chapter 6: Whenever, Wherever, For Life**

On the way home I was overtaken by an elderly Jeep SUV style, in dark blue, with the words Grand Cherokee printed on the back, which pulled into our driveway and out jumped Emmett and Rosalie.

"Hey pup, how are you ?"

I grinned, pleased to see Emmett again. "I'm good thanks, and your Jeep is in the barn. I washed it at an autostop on the way into town so it's cleaned up as best I can."

"Thanks, here, catch." And with that he threw me a set of keys, which I caught reflexively while trying not to drop the eggs that the Thomas's had given me.

He laughed, "It's all yours." And gestured to the Jeep they had driven up in. "Needs a bit of work doing to it but it's the straight 8 with the original up country options." By the time Rosalie and I finish with her you should be able to take her just about anywhere."

Rosalie just scowled at me, "The sooner you are out of here the better." She hissed.

"Aww Rosa baby don't be like that." coaxed Emmett and picking her up swung her in circles until she stopped scowling and I followed them into the house stunned by their generosity and worrying about Rosalie's attitude.

Inside the house Emmett and Rosalie were greeted by Carlisle and Edward, I looked round and saw Bella standing by Esme, who was playing with Renesmee. Someone had lit the fire and the room would have smelled of wood sap and coal except for the stink of vampires. That was going to be annoying, especially after the human smells of the Thomas house. Mixed in was the aroma of cooking coming from the kitchen and I guessed that Jacob was cooking, hopefully enough for me too.

Bella and Renesmee went to greet Emmett and Rosalie who swung Renesmee up into her arms and started making a big fuss of her, while Esme beckoned me through to the kitchen. "Are those eggs from the Thomas's ?"

"Yes, they said thank you very much for the cookies and insisted that I bring these eggs for you."

"That's very kind of them." She said as Jacob's long arm reached round me, plucked the bowl from my hands and with a quick hello went back to cooking. My stomach growled in anticipation and Jacob laughed, "Won't be long now."

Esme went back into the lounge to greet Emmett and Rosalie, passing Bella coming into the kitchen, "HI Leah, it's so good to see you." And she smiled like she really meant it ! I smiled back hoping that perhaps we could make a new start in our relationship. "Hi Bella, it's good to see you too. How's the new house ?"

Bella pulled a face, "It's OK, but cramped compared to what we had at Forks, especially with having Jacob around." She smiled in his direction and I was pleased to see there was no malice in her words. "We will tough it out over the winter and build on in the spring. Edward has already started on the plans." I nodded as Edward came in, "Hi Leah, good job with the Thomas's, I heard most of what you said and it is going to be a big help having you around to deal with them." And he smiled at me. I couldn't believe it; Edward Cullen actually smiled at me. His grin widened, "Esme says you have been very helpful around the house and by the way you are welcome to chop wood at our house any time." He laughed, with the others joining in. I grinned back, relieved that my relationship with them was improving.

Jacob, bless him, handed me a huge plate of food and my stomach rumbled again. Edward and Bella chuckled and went back to the living room leaving Jacob and I to eat in peace. For a few minutes Jacob and I ate in silence, concentrating on the simple pleasure of eating. Then I got up and fetched a carton of milk for him and me from the fridge, ignoring the packs of blood. Jacob lifted his carton of milk in a toast. "Good to see you Leah."

I grinned back and lifted my own carton of milk "Good to see you as well Jake. Thanks for cooking."

"No problems sis, Edward was relaying your conversation with the neighbours and I thought the least I could do was make supper."

"How are you getting on here?"

He made a face, "Bella is right about it being cramped, so I am sleeping in the barn to give them privacy, but with them being at college most of the day I have plenty of time with Nessie which is good." He paused to eat then continued "We visit Esme occasionally but she has been worried about a surprise visit by the neighbours. "

I nodded, "Well now that I am here you can come round more often." Then I mulled over a problem that had worried me at the Thomas's, how to introduce Jacob ? "Jake, I didn't know how to introduce you. I mean you don't look like you could be one of the Cullen's."

He shrugged, "I don't have to meet them."

I pressed, "Yes but just in case I need to have a cover story ready. How about you are a friend of mine who is working as a forest ranger north of here, maybe a couple of hours drive away, we could look on the map. Then I could say you were calling to see me and staying with Edward and Bella because they have a spare room. How about that ?"

He nodded, "That would work, it's not as if I could say I was a student or doctor or anything like that."

Edward poked his head round the door. "Good suggestion Leah." And he grinned again, that was definitely going to need getting used to. "Could you two come through when you are ready, Jasper and Alice should be here soon."

Jacob and I finished up and put our plates in the sink. I looked round at the mess Jacob had made, "Ill clear up after you have gone home. Just leave the dishes for now."

When we went through to the lounge Carlisle and Esme were sitting in the chairs by the fire, Bella and Rosalie were sat on the sofa playing with Nessie, while Edward chatted to Emmett by the front door. The room was going to be crowded and there were still two more to arrive. I thought briefly about the last time I told a story to the Cullen's, under one of their huge cedar trees. We could go outside again but there were no big trees near the house and it would just not feel right sat in the open air. Esme must have seen me looking worried as she came over, pulling into the corridor. "Everything will be fine Leah, stop worrying. Oh, by the way your mum called and I told her you were visiting our neighbours and would call her back later and when Carlisle checked our mail box there was a card for you. I've left it on your bed." She smiled reassuringly and went back to the lounge.

Who could be writing to me here ? I had spoken to my mum every night since leaving home and she had not said anything about writing to me. I walked to my bedroom and picked the letter up. The letter was clearly addressed to me at this address. Inside were a Thanksgiving card and a note. I read the note and smiled. The card reminded me of the shawl I had been given my Billy Black and I took it with me when I went back into the lounge. Jasper and Alice had arrived while I had been in my bedroom. Jasper gave me a big smile and waved hello but Alice hissed venomously at me, until Jasper glared at her. Alice had clearly still not forgiven me for hurting Jasper or messing with her seeing the future.

I looked around the room and decided the safest place for me would probably be by the fire, between Carlisle and Esme so I sat with my back to the fire, careful not to get the shawl dirty. Carlisle asked for everyone's attention and the low murmur that had been filling the room quieted. Jacob who was stood in the doorway to the kitchen leaning nonchalantly against the door jamb grinned and gave me a thumbs up. "Thank you all for coming over this evening, this is the first time we have all been together since we left Forks and I think it would be useful to hear how everyone is getting on. I suggest we start with Edward and Bella, then Emmett and Rosalie followed by Jasper and Alice. We have some updates and Leah has been to seen our neighbours this afternoon so she can update us on that and the events at Forks after we left. Edward ?" I was nervous of the way Carlisle had brought me into the family circle but realised that this would give me a chance to hear everyone else first.

Edwards update was that they had moved in OK but had to leave most of their furniture in storage as the house was so small. He was working on plans to extend the house but it would be spring before the ground would be soft enough to start building. He and Bella had started at Dartmouth, no problems so far but Bella would need to work through Thanksgiving to meet the first set of assignment deadlines. Bella pulled a face and everyone chuckled.

Emmett's update was that all was going well. No one had commented on Jasper and Alice moving in with them. College was going OK and they had found a Jeep for me, a straight 8 Cherokee with the up country specification. They were going to refurbish it with me over the winter so that I would be ready to head off on my own in the spring. I was relieved to hear a timescale for my stay with the Cullen's and from the look on Rosalie's face it would be sooner if possible.

Jasper's update was that they had moved in with Emmett and Rosalie OK but were looking for a place for themselves for some peace and quiet. There was chuckling as everyone knew how noisy Emmett and Rosalie could be when they were being passionate. Alice added that she was able to see the future of their household fine but not that of anyone involved with me. She reminded everyone that even if the Volturi decided to attack she would not be able to see them because of me and shot me another glare of pure venom. Esme hissed and Alice dropped her eyes.

Carlisle's update was that the move had gone OK, This house was also too small so most of the furniture was in storage but Esme was planning to build on in the spring. He would be starting as a part time consultant at the Lebanon medical school on Monday. The Denali clan had been in touch and suggested coming to visit us once we were settled in and everyone needed to think how we would be able to host them.

Then Carlisle turned to me, smiled, and asked for a report on the neighbours. I summarised my chat with the Thomas's, looking to Edward from time to time worried that I had missed anything important, but he kept quiet and just nodded very time I looked at him. There was a groan around the family when I mentioned that the Thomas's would have family staying with them over the Easter holidays. That meant that everyone would have to keep a low profile for the duration of the stay.

"Thank you Leah, what was your assessment of their health ?" asked Carlisle.

"They are both elderly and do not appear to get out much. Mrs Thomas appears to be having memory lapses and it's possible she may need to go into a home if Mr Thomas is not able to look after her."

"What was the state of farm ?" asked Jasper

"Looks neat and tidy but run down, does not look like they have much spare cash."

"Could you persuade them to sell ?"

"They say that they do not want to sell because their son's ashes are buried under the apple tree in the back garden. However, if I could persuade them of a better alternative, something that would continue after they were no longer able to maintain his grave themselves, then that might be a possibility. If they moved nearer to their daughter then they would see more of their grandchildren."

Carlisle nodded, "sounds like we need you to spend time with them, guide them in the right direction and their daughter visiting at Easter although an inconvenience might give you an opportunity to chat with her about her parents moving nearer to her."

There was a general murmur of agreement and although I was pleased with their reaction to my report I was concerned that it sounded like the Cullen's wanted me to talk the Thomas's out of their home.

"Good" said Carlisle, "So that's agreed then. Now Leah, please can you update us on events at Forks after we left." The room went quiet in a way only a room full of suddenly very intent vampires could become. All I could hear now was Jacob's slow heart beat and my own ragged breathing. I closed my eyes and reached out for the threads of the story. "Thank you Carlisle but could I start at the beginning of the day, before you all left ?" He nodded and I continued.

When I reached the part where Jasper had thrown me into the river for the second time I became aware of a low hiss coming from Alice, however Jasper was holding her firmly so I continued. There was a gasp when I described how I had reached out for the hawk and used her to distract Jasper as I lunged. "Jasper, I apologise for cheating like that and I hope you are fully recovered."

"No need to apologise." Grinned Jasper, "Felt like I was hit by a freight train." Emmett laughed but Alice was hissing loudly now and I eyed her warily. Carlisle interrupted, "Alice, do you have anything you wish to say ?"

"I do." Replied Alice, shaking off Jasper's hand and pointing her finger at me. "How can she be allowed to live after attacking Jasper like that ?"

Carlisle shook his head, "Alice, the game of tag was started by Jasper, not Leah. Although Leah cheated it was within the spirit of the game, no worse than Jasper throwing her into the tree or river. Jasper was not seriously hurt and as a result of the game Leah has discovered an important talent, one that may be of considerable use in the future."

Alice hissed at me again in frustration but allowed Jasper to hold onto her again and it was Edward who interrupted this time. "Leah, when you lunged at Jasper you disappeared from my thoughts. Do you think that was related to your mind control of the hawk ?"

"I don't know, I didn't know that I disappeared!."

"and you disappeared from my mind as well" interjected Jacob. "That's why I leapt between you and Jasper."

"Really, that has never happened before ! Maybe it was because I had moved to the hawk's mind; I remember looking down at us from the tree and only came back to my wolf self when she screeched in terror. It was wrong of me to use her like that, I put her life at risk just for a game of tag and that was wrong."

"Would your talent work on humans ?" asked Jasper, more interested in the potential of my gift rather than the safety of the hawk.

"I don't know, but I suspect it becomes more difficult the more advanced the species."

"Could you read the hawk's mind ?" asked Edward and I could see he was curious as to how similar our talents might be.

"I was aware that she was hunting pigeons, but that was all. However, I was very focused on Jasper at the time so it's possible that I might be able to."

"Very interesting" added Carlisle "and a topic that I am sure we will come back to another time. Would you like to carry on with the rest of that day ?"

I wondered what he would say if I answered with a negative, but I might as well get this over with and out in the open, so I carried on with my run through the forest chasing Rosalie. Emmett laughed at my collision with the rock wall and again with my difficulty with opening the front door. "Damn" said Jasper, "I would have liked to have seen that." Alice poked him in the rubs with her elbow and he pretended to be winded while doing a low 5 with Emmett.

Then I talked about the trip to Port Angeles and the talk dark stranger. Emmett grinned broadly when I described how he had set me up but there was an embarrassed silence when I described my worry about imprinting on a woman. Jacob stirred and murmured, "Leah, whoever it is will be the right one for you."

I glossed over lunch with my mother other than to say she agreed that I should come here, as suggested by Bella, who smiled, and Rosalie, who grimaced. I described the moment when we stood outside their empty house, contemplating the future. Alice snorted. I had asked of they planned to return at some point in the future and we had discussed whether their return would trigger another explosion in wolf numbers, another one like me. I had asked if they would agree to demolish their house and never return to the Olympic peninsula. There was an audible hiss until Carlisle lifted his hand and slowly the room fell quiet again. I licked my lips nervously, even "friendly" vampires like Emmett and Jasper were unhappy with my impudence and as for the others, it was clear that they were furious.

I then explained Carlisle's proposal, that I should dedicate my life to helping others being a bridge between humans, wolves and vampires. Rosalie snorted in derision but I noticed Bella nodding in agreement and I remembered that she had tried to encourage the wolves and vampires to get along. I hesitated before continuing; in return Carlisle agreed that their house could be demolished and that they would not build again on the Olympic peninsula. At this there was uproar, Carlisle was on his feet and in the middle of the room as soon as I had finished and I noticed that Esme was on the edge of her seat watching the others, who were for now focused on Carlisle rather than me.

"Let me speak." Carlisle's voice was calm authority. Carlisle could project his authority very effectively when he needed to, a very impressive alpha vampire. Our pack had underestimated him. In contrast to Carlisle, the vampires around him were more savage and frightening than I had ever seen them before, a nightmare vision, hissing and snarling at Carlisle and each other as they slowly backed down under his command. I had felt Alpha commands from Sam and Jacob but this was on a vastly higher scale as Carlisle willed obedience to his command.

"Each will speak in turn, as has always been our custom when there is disagreement amongst us. "Edward and Bella ?"

"First we would like Renesmee to be taken home by Jacob. They do not need to be here."

Everyone focused on Renesmee, wide eyed in Bella's arms. "Of course", said Carlisle.

Jacob stepped forward, took Renesmee and with a worried glance at me disappeared out of the back door.

"Second, we would like to know the fate of our cottage." Carlisle nodded at me.

"The cottage stays unharmed and will be protected by the pack so that you have somewhere to stay while you visit Charlie. Bella and Renesmee were both born in Forks and have a birth right to return there whenever they wish."

"Then we support Carlisle's agreement with Leah." I sighed in relief and Bella gave me a quick smile.

"We did not agree to this when we discussed Leah's future before we left Forks." Hissed Rosalie coldly.

"True" replied Carlisle "And I will accept that I made the agreement on the spur of the moment, without consulting you. I know that this is difficult for you accept, but ask for your support."

"Well it's too late now to change the decision, the house is gone, and at Forks we could go out more than anywhere else we have lived for the last 100 years. It is insufferable that we should be driven out of our home by a mongrel like that." Pointing at me.

Emmett stayed quiet, possibly hoping that Rosalie would quieten down once she had spoken her mind.

"We can build again," said Carlisle in a conciliatory tone. "And as you said, Leah will only be with us for a few months, a blink of an eye for such as us." The anger seemed to fade in Rosalie's face as she relaxed frustrated into Emmett's arms. She was not going to support the agreement, but would not object either.

"This is madness Carlisle; I warned you that bringing that animal into our family would rip us apart," hissed Alice. "I will not risk Jasper when I am unable to view the future so you leave us little choice. We do not wish to live apart from you all but if we must do so to protect ourselves then that is what we shall do."

Carlisle nodded, "If that is what you decide then we will part as friends and you will be welcome back at any time. I understand your concern but I have been worried for some time that we rely too much on your and Edward's talents to protect ourselves. We need to reduce that dependence. However, there is more, Esme ?"

Esme rested her hand lightly on my shoulder; my skin tingled at the coldness of her fingers. I did not know if she meant to restrain me or support me and I turned to look at her in confusion. "At my request Leah burned down the house." Again there was uproar; this time Carlisle let the angry snarls run their own course, just quietly watching Esme and me. Esme still had her hand on my shoulder and looked at each vampire in turn. I saw that whereas Carlisle had the alpha control and was prepared to use it when necessary, Esme's power was much subtler, she challenged each of the vampires one by one, reminding them that she was the one who held the soul of the family. "I asked this of Leah as a symbol, we are born by fire and this symbolised Leah's birth into our family." There were surprised hisses from round the room. "In recounting the agreement Leah missed out an important element. I don't think the omission was deliberate, just ignorance of its significance. She agreed to dedicate her life to being part of this family." She paused obviously waiting for the vampires to comprehend the significance of what she was saying.

It was Jasper who spoke first, "So what happens if she fails to be part of this family ?"

"Then she will have broken the agreement, which would become null and void." Rosalie hissed excitedly, "So if she breaks the agreement then we could move back to Forks if we wanted to !" and she smiled at me in anticipation. Alice was also smiling, "and we could send her right back to where she came from." Carlisle nodded "So you understand now that the agreement depends on Leah's commitment to each of us." I buried my head in my hands, what had I done ? Had I sold my soul to the devil ? What would I have to do to keep my side of the agreement ?

Edward coughed pointedly, "This seems rather theatrical Carlisle, was there a reason for that ?"

"Thank you Edward for reminding me." He paused, "Leah, you too have a voice in this." I looked up wary of what might be coming. Was I about to be further ensnared and enslaved? "The reason for the theatrics was because I wanted to ensure that you understood the gravity of what you promised in Forks. So in a moment I will ask you if knowing what you do now you still want this agreement with us. "Turning back to the vampires. "So, the vote is this, do we agree not to rebuild on the Olympic peninsula as long as Leah Clearwater agrees to dedicate her life to helping others and be part of our family, a bridge between vampires, wolves and humans. If she fails her side of this agreement then we can return to the Olympic peninsula at a time of our choosing." There was a murmur of agreement from all the vampires.

Turning to me, Carlisle asked if I understood the significance of the agreement and that I was committing myself for life. I watched Rosalie and Alice warily, "How will I know what I have to do to meet my side of the agreement." Carlisle followed my glance and smiled reassuringly at me. "Esme and I will be the judge of what is reasonable to expect of you. We will not allow the others to place unreasonable demands on you."

Did I have a choice ? I smoothed the fabric of the shawl and remembered Billy Black. "Carlisle, I think I should tell you what happened the morning after."

He looked surprised and motioned for me to continue. "When I went back to my house to pack my belongings a delegation of out tribal elders was waiting to find out what had happened. They were very surprised to hear that I was able to reach out to the hawk and control her actions. In the past it has only been the chief of the tribe who could do this and in view of my moving away from our tribal homeland they decided that I should be made Shaman of our tribe and named Hawkwind. They gave me this shawl as a token of my appointment." I stood and opened out the shawl for them all to see, the animals embroidered on the shawl seemed to move in the flickering light of the fire.

"Well, congratulations on your appointment, I am pleased that they finally recognised how special you are. I just wish they had acted earlier, would have saved you a lot of pain." Carlisle paused and then continued, "Do you know what your duties are ?"

"I don't know, we have never had a Shaman before, I think they expect me to learn how to heal people, medically and spiritually using traditional herbal medicines. Also, I think that an experienced Shaman is an advisor to the tribal elders. Would that be a conflict with what you want from me ?"

"Hmm, well the healing people would be complimentary and the greater your range of experience the more helpful your advice will be to your elders. So the only potential conflict that I can see is if your tribe need you at the same time as we do and I am confident that you will make the right decision at that time."

I nodded, unconvinced. How could I reconcile such conflicting demands. I looked around the room, at the watchful vampires, the flames from the fire making their skin shin with ripples of red, veritable demons from the pits of hell. I wondered what Bella thought now; whether she regretted her offer to me back at Forks. Would her door still be open to me ?

"Our door will always be open to Leah, whatever you decide." Murmured Edward.

"Thank you Edward, Bella." I replied and Bella smiled warmly at me.

It seemed so different to when we were stood outside their house in Forks; the answer was so obvious then. Now, in the farmstead on the other side of the continent Forks seemed so remote and a wave of homesickness swept over me. Then I remembered the risk to future generations of my tribe and the hope that my sacrifice would free them from the need to be wolves. That was my answer; my agreement with the Cullen's would be my sacrifice so that my tribe could be free.

I took a deep breath to calm my nerves and the smell of the vampires burnt the back of my throat, a feeling of raging thirst surged through my body. How ironic I thought, here I am bonding myself to a coven of vampires and I am thirsty. Edward stifled a chuckle. The others all looked at him wondering what was so funny at such a solemn moment.

"Leah was being ironic." He said quietly. I was impressed by his sensitivity and hoped that it time we could be friends. I thought what could assuage their curiosity – _you__ will__ live__ with __that __for __life_ - .

Edward chuckled out loud this time and repeated my phrase. I thought, well why not, I cover for you and you cover for me. He smiled in reply.

I stood and looked at Carlisle and then one by one round the rest of the family. Binding myself to Carlisle and Esme was one thing but the others, especially Alice and Rosalie. "Carlisle, this agreement binds me to your family, collectively and individually ?"

He nodded, watchful.

"Would it be appropriate then if I confirmed our agreement with each member of your family in turn ? That way perhaps any concerns can be resolved between us, one to one."

"Yes Leah, that would be an excellent idea."

I looked at Alice, this was going to be difficult and she was so tiny that our height difference was going to be awkward. I looked round searching for inspiration, saw Esme still sitting in her chair and thought of sitting, saw the fireplace and thought of sitting down at one side of the fireplace. While I sat down I motioned to Alice to sit opposite to me.

She did as I asked, her face expressionless, but now our eyes were closer in height and the light from the fire illuminated one side of her face. I sought back through my memories for anything that could connect me to Alice. We had so little to do with each other in Forks, but I remembered her sitting behind the sofa where Seth's proximity eased her headache. "Headache" I said.

She looked surprised and confused. Whatever she was expecting from me was not that !

I continued, "Alice, I apologise for hurting Jasper, for messing up your visions of the future and for burning down your home in Forks." I heard a hiss escape from her lips. "And all I can think to offer at the moment is that whenever and wherever you ever have a headache again, I will be there for you." She opened her eyes in understanding and laughed.

"I hope that I never have a headache like that again but I appreciate your offer. This Shaman thing, are you able to see the future ?"

"I don't know, I don't think so." I thought back to my dreams and added "I think it might be more about interpreting dreams and visions."

She snorted sceptically.

"It's something that I would like to work with you on."

She nodded thoughtfully. "Maybe, and I would be interested in how you can you reach out to other minds. However, you would have to commit to this Leah, or I will personally throw you right back to where you came from."

My turn to nod and I held my hand out to her. Her hand was so tiny in mine and so cold that it felt alien but I concentrated on finding the right words to use. "Headaches, dreams, visions and whatever you need, whenever you need me, for life." And shook her hand.

She added "For life."

I released her hand. "Thank you."

"I'm not convinced about this Leah but I am prepared to try and make this work. Jasper now ?"

I nodded and in the blink of an eye it was Jasper sitting across the fireplace from me.

"Hi Jasper."

"Hi Leah."

I thought of our game of tag and grinned, "Brothers in arms."

He grinned back and nodded, "Brothers in arms"

"So I would follow you wherever you lead ?"

He pulled a face, "If we ever have to go into battle together Leah it is as equals."

I nodded, "Then I will watch your back."

He grinned again, "Better, and I will watch your back. But first you will have to be trained."

"A new blood ?"

"He laughed, "The most dangerous new blood I have ever met !"

"OK, so I agree to your training and wherever and whenever you need me I will be there for you to watch your back, for life." And held my hand out.

"And I will watch your back, for life", he said shaking my hand.

"Thank you."

"I hope this works out Leah, I think you have great potential and in time I think you will even win over Alice."

With that he was gone, replaced by Rosalie.

"Hi Rosalie."

She just stared at me expressionlessly.

I knew what to say this time. "Not as annoying as Jacob."

Her eyes crinkled and she laughed, "That won't be difficult." And everyone laughed.

"Wherever and whenever you need me ?"

She snorted, "I want to see you take that Jeep apart and put it back together again."

I nodded,

"And Leah if you mess this up then I will personally build a vampire hotel in Forks. Got that ?"

I nodded and held out my hand, "Less annoying than Jacob and wherever and whenever you need me, for life."

She sighed and shook my hand. "For life. Like Alice, I am not convinced by this but I am also prepared to give this a try for Esme and Carlisle."

Emmett replaced Rosalie.

"Hi big guy."

"Hi pup"

"So big brother little sister ?"

He made a face. "Too boring."

"A joke a day ?"

"That's a start."

"Hmm degree in geography and geology, then how about exploring, finding new places ?"

He nodded, "There's always another ridge to look over."

"Degrees in psycho' stuff, then finding new people, interesting people."

He grinned, "Parties !"

I grinned back, "So exploring and time out for parties, whenever and wherever you need me, for life." And held out my hand.

He shook my hand enthusiastically, "for life. I'm looking forward to this, but you are going to have to work on Rosalie."

Then it was Bella replacing Emmett.

We smiled at each other.

"Friends and sisters ?"

"Yes, friends and sisters."

I thought of what else I could add that she could possibly need now that she was immortal.

"Confidant ?"

She grinned, "Confidant, as long as you can develop your ability to block Edward !"

I grinned back and held out my hand, "So sisters, friends and confidants, whenever and wherever you need me, for life."

She chuckled and shook my hand, "For life." And leaned forward to kiss me on my cheek.

"I am proud of you Leah" Bella lingered for a few moments holding my hand, and then it was Edward.

"Hi Edward"

"Hi Leah." He smiled. "Yes I will cover for you if you cover for me."

I nodded

"And I would like to work with you on your ability to communicate with animals. I am very interested in how similar your talent is to mine."

I nodded again, "So I will work with you on mind links and cover for you, whenever and wherever you need me, for life." And I held out my hand.

He shook my hand "For life, Leah, as friend and family."

Esme came and sat where Edward had been sitting.

"Esme, I don't want to burden my mum with all this."

Esme nodded, "Then for everything to do with my family I will be your mother and protector." She said eyeing Alice and Rosalie.

"And I will be as a daughter and a helper to you, wherever and whenever, for life." And I held out my hand.

As she shook my hand, "and I am also very proud of you Leah, I know you have so much potential for good."

Then it was Carlisle sitting across the fireplace from me. "You have changed so much Leah since I saw you at your mother's." he said gently.

I thought of the pain that I had been in then, the pain was still inside me, but weaker, buried and overlaid with the time I had spent with the Cullen's. "I am still the same Leah, but so much else in my life has changed, thanks to you, thank you for everything you have already done for me."

"Are you sure you want to do this Leah, life with us will be tough, challenging and dangerous."

"When you found me I had no life and no future, so every new day now is a bonus, an opportunity."

He nodded, watchful. "I cannot see your fate Leah, but I will do my best to guide you."

"So mentor and student ?"

He hesitated, "I know that you have lost your father Leah and if you wish I would do my best to fill that role for you."

I nodded, "Father and daughter, mentor and student, wherever and whenever, for life."

He smiled, "for life." And shook my hand.

"Right now that is all over, first thing in the morning I want you to start stripping down that Jeep. I will be over here before dawn to supervise." Hissed Rosalie.

I dropped my head, what had I got myself into !

I murmured "Carlisle already wants me to sort out the coal for here when it is delivered tomorrow morning and Esme wants me to go visit the Thomas's again in the afternoon."

Carlisle chuckled as he got to his feet, "It's OK Leah, we will sort out a schedule for you."

I sighed, my throat hurt, I was thirsty and I was exhausted. Was this what the rest of my life was going to be like ?

I pulled myself to my feet and made my way to the kitchen, ignoring everyone else. Like a robot I turned on the hot water and started the washing up. Bella came in quietly and helped, she didn't speak and I appreciated that with my being so exhausted. After the kitchen was cleaned up she gave me a quick hug and went back into the living room. I wearily banked the fire in the range and went to my bedroom, where I crashed out fully clothed.


	7. Part 2 Chapter 7 Laundromat and Baseball

All Twilight characters and storyline belong to Stephanie Meyers

**Leah Clearwater: Fire, Redemption and Salvation**

**Part 2 Chapter 7: Washing clothes and baseball**

The next morning dawned bright and clear again with a dry crisp winter air. I snuggled into the blanket that someone had thrown over me and thought about getting up. I was lethargic, not wanting to face the reality of the day after the night before and with the stirrings of a migraine from an overdose of vampire smells. In the end my body's need for the bathroom got me up and I decided that I had better stay up and make the most of the good weather to spend as much time as possible outside in the fresh air.

I walked through to the kitchen and peeked out the window, Carlisle and Esme were sunning themselves on the same bench as yesterday. I didn't want to disturb them and I didn't want to be given a list of Cullen family tasks to do either, so I quietly made breakfast and wondered what I could do instead. I fancied the idea of chopping more firewood, out in the open air, nothing but me, my axe and some wood to work out my frustrations on.

Esme came into the kitchen with a breezy 'Good morning Leah, how are you this morning ?'

I thought about being all bright and breezy in return but just muttered 'OK thanks, how are you ?'

She looked at me intently with a slight frown. 'I'm good thank you but you look rough. How about some fresh air to get you going ?'

This time my smile was brighter, 'I could chop some more firewood ? that would wake me up.'

She nodded in agreement, 'sounds good but we had better get the fire going in the range so that you can have a shower after your work out and Carlisle says to remind you about the coal delivery this morning so just put on work clothes.'

I cleared out the ash from yesterday and rebuilt the fire while Esme brought in more wood and coal. 'Esme, I still need to wash some clothes, how about I look for a laundromat after the coal delivery, I could take Jacob's washing as well if he has any.'

Esme pulled out a chair and sat down with a cautious expression on her face. 'I spoke to Alice last night about clothes for you.' I winced. 'She seemed reluctant.' I breathed out in relief. 'So I suggested that she talks to you about clothes when they have their next session with you.' I cringed with embarrassment and she laughed, 'Bella used to be reluctant as well and I think she still is although she seems to humour Alice more these days. In the mean time you will still need to wash bedding and towels so finding a laundromat would be a good idea.'

Carlisle was gone by the time I went outside to chop wood and I heard sounds coming from the garage which sounded like he was doing some interior remodelling. The smooth rhythm of the wood chopping cleared my head and relaxed my muscles. I was also making good progress in building up the wood pile but the next job would be to go and fetch wood from the forest.

I went back to the kitchen for a second breakfast and found Esme working on a pile of paperwork.

'Ah Leah,' she said, 'ready for work ?' and she laid out the paperwork across the kitchen table.

Reluctantly I went to sit next to her and scanned the papers, a timetable for a week and separate sheets for the different members of the family. I groaned as I read what had been written but Esme chuckled and ruffled my hair.

'Don't be like that, it will be fun.' I tried hard not to groan again as Esme went through the papers systematically. Edward and Bella had papers due to be handed in after the Easter holidays so they wanted to hold off working with me until after the hand in deadline. Alice and Jasper wanted to work with me outdoors, which would be weather dependent as it would need to be cloudy but not snowing or stormy so that would have to be flexible. Carlisle was going to give me basic medical training and Esme wanted me to go with her to the adult learning courses at Lebanon library. Rosalie wanted me to work on the Jeep they had bought for me and Emmett wanted to take me on field trips, perhaps overlapping with Alice and Jasper. However, in the middle of the table was the No1 priority – The Thomas's.

By my reckoning there needed to be 5 of me to even attempt what was laid out but Esme seemed relaxed, 'this is just a starting point Leah, we will see how we get on and modify your schedule accordingly. I have emphasised to everyone, including Carlisle, that you will need time to yourself as well and the opportunity to make your own friends.' I nodded with a bit more enthusiasm.

'By the way', continued Esme, ' your mum phoned last night and I brought the phone to your room but you were sound asleep. I let you mum hear your snoring.' She chuckled, 'I said you were just worn out and that I would make sure you phoned her today, so before you go to the Thomas's, OK ?'

I felt awful, how could I have forgotten to call my mum !

We both heard a truck pull onto our service road and I got up to supervise the coal delivery. Esme gave me Carlisle's notes to make sure they unloaded what he had agreed with them. By the time they were finished I was covered in coal dust and our yard seemed full of sacks of coal, there was far too much for us. As the truck roared out onto the highway Esme and Carlisle joined me in the yard. I noticed that Carlisle was covered in dust and wood shavings and wondered what he had been up to in the barn.

'Right,' said Carlisle, 'Can you help me sort this lot out please Leah, we will fill the coal store and then the rest will have to go into the barn for now.' Esme interjected, 'perhaps Edward will take some for their house.' and Carlisle nodded.

'Could I take some round to the Thomas's later ?' I asked. Esme smiled, 'that's a good idea,' and picked up a couple of bags to take to the barn.

'Esme, you will get all dirty carrying those bags,' observed Carlisle.

She grinned at him, 'and your problem with that is ?'

He laughed and picking up a couple of bags he followed her to the barn. I rolled my eyes and started stacking bags in the coal store by the house. I heard Esme run out of the barn squealing and turned in time to see Carlisle chasing her round the barn holding out coal streaked hands.

'Don't you dare Carlisle Cullen,' she screamed as she ran past me and hid behind the wood store.

Carlisle walked past me quietly with a finger to his lips and tip toed round the other side of the wood store.

I heard squealing and laughing and they both reappeared, Esme covered in coal dust and hugging Carlisle. I shook my head in disbelief and mused on the strange behaviour of vampires, larking around in the sun like innocent teenagers. Turning back to the coal store I wiped a tear from my eye, must be the coal dust.

Jacob and Renesmee appeared as we were finishing off, Renesmee giggling at the state her grandparents were in. I made lunch and argued with Renesmee about wanting blood instead of a sandwich while Esme and Carlisle went to clean up.

I asked Jacob about washing, 'Hey sounds good, beats washing clothes in the sink ! I could go with you and leave Renesmee here with Esme ?'

We heard Esme's voice floating up the corridor from the bathroom agreeing with Jacob's suggestion.

Renesmee smiled happily and slurped her blood, while making a face at me 'Aunty Leah, you will need to get cleaned up before you go out.'

Jacob laughed, 'I could just put her in one of the washing machines at the laundromat,' and they both laughed. The look they gave each other stirred more emotional pain inside me and I turned to the sink and pretended to wash dishes while blinking back the tears that welled up inside me. Of all my worries last night I had not considered that it would be living among happy loving people that would make me cry.

'Aunty Leah,' Renesmee asked, 'when are we going to see the horsey ?' It was strange hearing her talk, she normally used her weird mind link but with me she had always been more formal and I appreciated the gesture.

'We could maybe go round together later, after Jacob and I get back from the Laundromat.'

'Will it be safe ?' worried Jacob.

'For Renesmee or the horse ?' I retorted and Renesmee giggled.

Carlisle and Esme came into the kitchen and started tickling Renesmee so I quietly added more coal to the range to boost the hot water and went to get a shower.

After I was cleaned up Carlisle walked with Jacob and I to the barn and opened the door with a flourish. Wow, he had been busy. The barn had been cleared out, cleaned, the floor sealed and the space divided into a workshop for the cars and what looked like living accommodation.

'I've still got a lot more to do,' he said, 'I want to get the living space habitable before Easter so that we can live here while the house is being remodelled. I need to get water and drainage installed and I was hoping Jacob that you would help me.'

Jacob agreed, 'I don't know anything about water or drainage but I would be happy to help and it would be useful to learn about these things for when Edward and Bella remodel their house.'

Carlisle smiled, 'Thank you Jacob and I will have a word with Edward about making their barn more comfortable for you. I am talking to the utility company about uprating our power supply and I am thinking of bringing in a generator set in case we lose power in a storm. Once we have the basics in Esme can get started on the decorating, would you mind helping her on that as well Jacob ?'

Jacob nodded and I grinned, the Cullen's had clearly decided that Jacob's future was in building and decorating.

We walked over to my Jeep, it was a bit rusty in places but seemed in reasonable condition.

'Start her up Leah, let's hear how she sounds,' suggested Jacob. The engine started first time and sounded OK to me but Jacob pulled a face, 'needs tuning and the fan belt is squeaking but doesn't sound like anything serious.'

I turned off the engine and climbed out. 'Carlisle, why does Rosalie want me to take it apart ? Seems such a waste of time !'

'Well, I guess she wants you to know how it all works so that you can fix anything that goes wrong yourself and you can also customise it to suit your specific needs.'

'I have needs ?' I asked in an irritated tone.

He chuckled and glanced at Jacob who grinned back,

'If you are going to go travelling around the country then this,' he gestured to the Jeep, 'will become your home from home and now is your chance to fit it out for going up a mountain or through an inner city neighbourhood. Anyway you had better get going.'

Jacob and I climbed in and I carefully reversed out. Esme was waiting at the front door with bags of washing and I blushed at the thought of her going through all my dirty clothes but she just grinned and threw them in the back. I drove round to Jacob's barn and waited while he gathered up his washing, then carefully drove into town. Only when we got to town did I realise that I did not know where the Laundromat was and I did not have any cash on me. Esme bringing out the washing had stopped me going to my bedroom, where I had left my purse ready to take with me. I cursed under my breath 'Jake, I'm sorry I have left my purse back at the house, we will have to go back.'

He laughed, 'no worries, I have it covered,' and pulled out a stack of notes from his back pocket. 'Pull over at that drugstore and I will ask where the nearest Laundromat is.'

'Thanks Jake, you think of everything,' and pulled over carefully.

He patted me on my shoulder, 'Relax sis, anyway, do you need anything from the store ?'

I shook my head and he jumped out. I played with the radio while he was gone and managed to find a country and western station. When he came back he had a bag of snacks and directions.

The Laundromat was in a relatively run down part of town, looked like rented townhouse apartments, student accommodation perhaps ? Fortunately it was quiet so we could load all our washing into a couple of machines. The supervisor was a large cheerful black woman who eyed us suspiciously, 'Can I help you ?' Jacob smiled and held out his hand 'Hi, I'm Jacob and this is my sister Leah, we are new in town and need to get some washing done.' She looked at his hand, looked at his big confident smile and grinned, shaking his hand, 'Welcome Jacob to my Laundromat, I'm Delores, do you know how these machines work ?' and with that she chatted happily away with us, selling us laundry detergent, asking where we were staying and what we were doing. Once we had the machines going I asked Jacob if we could maybe take a walk around, explore the town. Delores said she would be happy to look after our washing for us and gave us directions to the centre of town.

Lebanon was way bigger than La Push and bigger than Forks and possibly bigger even than Port Angeles. As I looked around I noticed that people were stopping and staring at us, 'Jacob, what's with all these people ?'

His voice was tight, 'They have not seen people like us before, back home we were the majority but here we are the minority. Edward and Bella warned me about this and we are going to have to be careful to stay out of trouble.'

I stopped in surprise, 'Trouble ?'

His expression was serious, 'Leah, we are a long way from home and we do not want to attract any attention to the Cullen's, so yes, we have to think about where we are going, when and with whom. Daylight during the week should be OK, but we need to be careful about any other time.'

'This is ridiculous.' I said in astonishment, 'We have as much right to go where we please as anyone else !'

He shook his head, 'Rights don't always mean the same thing to different people.' Then he cheered up, 'but if you had some local friends you could probably go with them without any problems. They would know the places to avoid and you would be much less likely to get into trouble with locals with you.'

I paused to consider this and he continued 'Ironically, we would be attracting less attention if we were on our own.' He saw my surprise and continued 'we would be less visible. And if we wore the same clothes as everyone else then we would be even less visible.'

'Should we go back ?' I asked

He shook his head slowly, 'I think we will be OK for now, we need to get a feel for this place and check out what everyone else is wearing.'

We walked carefully around town, staying out of people's way, taking care not to accidentally jay walk or attract attention and trying to ignore the stares. We found a park and sat on a bench in the winter sunshine to eat the snacks Jacob had bought at the drugstore. I phoned my mum for a chat and reassured her that everything was going OK and Jacob spoke with her as well assuring her that we were looking out for each other. I told my mum about the card I had received, from MJ thanking me for my help with Shola and how it would be nice to meet up with them again sometime.

After promising to call again soon I hung up and chatted with Jacob about life with the Cullen's and joked about his new career as a builder / decorator. He chuckled, 'Well it makes sense and it does not sound as hard as what you agreed to last night,' and he glanced sideways at me in concern, 'Edward and Bella mentioned it briefly to me last night. Edward was amused at your being "ironic" but he did not elaborate.'

I sighed and recounted my promises from the night before and explained why I had committed myself.

'I'm worried Leah, worried that you have taken too much on.'

'I'm worried too Jacob but I trust Carlisle and Esme to help me make this work and perhaps it will all turn out for the best.'

'You've come a long way Leah, I'm proud of you.'

'Thanks Jake, but someone has to keep an eye on you,' I said teasingly.

That seemed to cheer him up, 'Thanks Leah, it would have been lonely without you around. That shawl my dad gave you, sounds like the one my grandmother had, I'm glad you have it now.'

I thought of the way the animals had seemed to dance in the firelight last night, 'It's very special Jacob, I will always treasure it.'

What looked like a group of students were playing baseball on the other side of the park and one of them hit a long ball in our direction, way over the head of the out fielders. Casually Jacob got up, waved to the fielder who was running towards us, walked over to the ball and threw it back, right over to the catcher. Jacob sat back down and stretched out his legs as the fielder ran up panting, 'Hey man, that was some throw, would you like to play ? We could do with some help.' Jacob laughed and declined saying that we needed to get back to the Laundromat but I interrupted, remembering Esme's suggestion that we should make some local friends,

'Maybe next time, you guys play here often ?' He grinned, his face lighting up as he looked down at me. 'Whenever we can, it's nice to get out when the weather is good. If you guys give me your cell phone number I could text you ?'

Jacob shifted uneasily but I grinned and raised my eyebrows in a question, 'Can I play as well ?'

He looked surprised and glanced at Jacob who must have been glaring at me as he looked back at me and I swear I could see the wheels moving in his head. We want this guy on our team, but do we have to take her as well ? What would the other guys say ? Then he laughed, 'Sure, why not ?' as he must have decided that it didn't matter.

I looked past him at his friends, who were all looking at us, waiting to carry on with the game. 'and your friends.' I asked, 'Will they let me play ?'

He turned and waved at his friends to carry on, then glanced back at me, his shoulders slumped, 'I guess that depends on how well you can hit the ball.' He admitted.

I pressed, 'How well would I have to hit the ball ?'

He seemed uncomfortable now and glanced at Jacob, who must still have been glaring at me.

'I don't know,' he sighed, 'like one of us I guess.'

I grinned, 'and do you think I could do that ?'

He laughed, 'I don't know, you look fit and I know a few girls who can swing a bat but I just don't know.'

I laughed as well, 'then I don't know if I should give you my number !' Jacob chuckled.

He focused on me then, searching my eyes, I don't know what he saw there but he grinned and held out his hand. 'I'm John Mortimer, and I believe you can hit a ball just as good as any of us.'

I shook his hand, 'Thank you John, I'm Leah and this is my brother Jacob.'

While John and Jacob shook hands I punched my number into John's cell phone.

'I will call you later Leah, I had better get back to our game.'

'Look forward to hearing from you,' I replied and with that he was off running across the park to rejoin his team.

'What was that all about ?' demanded Jacob as we walked away.

'Esme wants me to make friends.' I said defensively.

'But why him ? why them ?'

'It seemed like a good idea !'

'Did you imprint on him ?'

'Enough Jacob,' I was annoyed now, ' I did not imprint on him but that does not mean that I can't make friends, OK. You may be my Alpha but you need to trust my instincts, I'm supposed to be your Shaman, remember ?'

We bickered all the way back to the Laundromat. Our machines were just finishing and Delores came over to ask us about our walk. I said that I had been uncomfortable with all the stares and she looked sympathetic.

'Lebanon is OK honey, we have a big student population so around here so there is mix of peoples, white, black, Hispanic, Chinese, all sorts but you two are different. Not many Native Indian Americans around here and bless me you two are big ! You are going to stand out anywhere you go around here, but that is nothing compared to where I grew up. If you had been in my neighbourhood there would have been a gang of kids following you wanting to know where you were from.'

I sighed, this was going to take some getting used to.

'So you be careful and get yourself a good lawyer in case trouble comes looking for you.' I must have looked worried because she patted me lightly. 'Now don't worry yourself, I am sure your brother can look after you,' and she smiled at Jacob who smiled back.

Ha, as if I would need looking after but I thanked her politely and started sorting through the washing, arranging it in neat piles. Jacob was asking where the nearest large Wal-Mart was, which was curious.

After saying goodbye to Delores we loaded our clean washing into my Jeep and I asked Jake about Wal-Mart. 'We need a disguise, I was thinking student clothes; jeans, boots and college top and Wal-Mart will be the easiest place to pick them up.' I was impressed and grinned at him, sounds like a plan but we had better be quick if I am to get to the Thomas's before dark.

Wal-Mart's are the same everywhere, big soulless warehouses with identical aisles and layout. We went straight to the rack with our sizes, rummaged through what was there and loaded the trolley. In and out in 15 minutes with our disguises for the next time we went to town.

Once we were back home we showed Esme and Renesmee what we had bought and explained why. Esme looked pensive but nodded 'You can try them on later but you had better go on round to the Thomas's. Nessie and I baked muffins for you to take over.'


	8. Part 2 Chapter 8 The Vet

All Twilight characters and storyline belong to Stephanie Meyers

**Leah Clearwater: Fire, Redemption and Salvation**

**Chapter 8 – The Vet**

Jacob helped me load a couple of sacks of coal into the trunk and fussed over Renesmee sitting in the front with me.

I rolled my eyes 'Jake, we are only going next door !' but he still looked worried until Renesmee told him to leave her alone.

When we got next door I gave Renesmee the tray of muffins to carry and we were walking up to the front door when Dai Thomas opened it for us. 'Welcome, welcome, come on in,' and stood to one side to let us in.

Eleanor was sitting in one of the armchairs knitting but rose as we entered and smiled in welcome.

I introduced Renesmee, who pretended to be nervous and tried to hide behind me.

'Oh such a sweet little girl,' cooed Eleanor, 'what did you bring ?'

Renesmee did not speak, just pulled back the cover a little to show the muffins.

'Oh those muffins look lovely, would you like to bring them into the kitchen and we will make some tea to have with the muffins.'

Renesmee glanced at me and I nodded, Esme must have decided that it was safer if Renesmee did not speak unless she had to.

I turned to Dai, 'Mr Thomas, my uncle over ordered our coal delivery and he asked if you would like a couple of sacks, I have them in the back of my Jeep.'

He hesitated and I tried to reassure him, 'honestly we have way too much and you would be doing us a favour to take a couple of sacks.'

He smiled then, 'Well thank you Leah, please say thank you to your Uncle for me. How is he getting on at the hospital ?' We chatted away until Eleanor and Renesmee came back with the tea trays and I hoped that I was not constructing to elaborate a life for Carlisle and Esme.

I saw that Eleanor had put out a plastic cup and saucer for Renesmee and smiled at her, this would be different for her ! She stuck her tongue out at me and I tried to supress a chuckle. Eleanor poured the tea and put the muffins on plates for Renesmee to carry to Dai and I, which she did very carefully. Then she came over to sit next to me on the sofa and Eleanor brought over her tea and muffin on a little table which she placed by the sofa.

'Such a lovely little girl,' said Eleanor, 'reminds me of my little girl. Dai where is Sarah ?'

With a glance at me Dai replied, 'She is in Boston now and has her own little girl.

'Oh yes,' said Eleanor, 'I'm sorry', she said to me 'my memory is not what it was.'

I smiled back, 'That's alright Mrs Thomas, my memory is not what it was either.' Renesmee looked at me in surprise.

I carried on 'Renesmee is very excited about your horse and has been pestering me to bring her round. I have told her to be very careful and I will keep her out of harm's way. Would it be possible for us to see your horse after tea ?'

Dai cleared his throat, 'Well I am sure Bertha would love to have visitors, but you need to remember she is an old horse now and not used to strangers.'

He paused and changed the subject, 'How are your Uncle and Aunt getting on with their remodelling plans ? Are we going to have heavy wagons going up and down our little road ?'

I reassured him that nothing major would happen before Easter and that we would let them know in plenty of time before we started any major building works.

After the muffins were all gone Renesmee helped Eleanor take the tea plates through to the kitchen

and skipped back into the lounge to stand in front of me looking expectant.

I smiled at her and looked over to Dai, who got the hint and clambered to his feet. 'OK lets go and see Bertha.'

We went out the front door so that I could unload the sacks of coal from the back of my Jeep. Dai and I carried the sacks to the back of the house while Renesmee held Eleanor's hand and started towards the barn, where they waited for us to catch up.

Dai asked me to wait until he called, then opening the barn door a crack he slid inside and I could hear his careful footsteps across the barn and a neigh from Bertha as she recognised him. Once he had made sure she was calm and settled Dai called for me to come in.

I carefully edged round the door and while my eyes adjusted for the dim light in the barn I reached out with my mind. There were lots of creatures in the barn but Bertha was easy to pick out. She seemed aware and alert. I wondered if she considered me as a threat, a predator, but she seemed more concerned with a pain in her front left hoof.

Dai called me over and I walked quietly across the barn, mentally soothing Bertha. She stayed quiet which seemed to surprise Dai. 'Bertha, this is Leah, our new next door neighbour. Leah this is Bertha.' He held out a treat for her while I stroked her neck, she must have been a fine horse in her day.

Eleanor called from outside asking if they could come into the barn. When Dai did not reply they came in anyway, Renesme trying to hide behind Eleanor, which surprised me until I realised that she might be doing that to avoid scaring Bertha; I was not the only predator in the barn and despite her diminutive size Renesmee could probably bring down Bertha if she tried.

While Eleanor waited to let her eyes to adjust to the light in the barn I asked Dai about Bertha's foot. He seemed surprised and shook his head, 'I have not noticed anything'. Gently he led Bertha out of her box into the main part of the barn and she whinnied when she smelt Eleanor and Renesme. I reached out again to calm her and stood back to hold Renesme's hand.

Eleanor pulled the barn doors open and we all walked out into the sunlit yard. Bertha was a beautiful chestnut colour, well groomed and used to being around Dai and Eleanor, who was stroking her ears and feeding her treats.

Eleanor called out to Renesme, who hesitantly stepped forward and gazed up at Bertha. I held my breath and prepared to leap forward, although I was not sure whether that would be to rescue Renesme from Bertha or Bertha from Renesme. I shook my head in disbelieve, how had my world turned so upside down and inside out that I was worrying about saving a horse from a diminutive child !

Dai had gone back into the stable to fetch a harness, which he slipped over Bertha's head and gently lead her round the exercise yard while we watched. She limped, slightly, but enough for Dai to notice and when they returned to where we were standing he nodded to me in agreement.

'I could arrange a vet' I offered, 'in return for riding lessons ?'

Lifting Renesme I showed her how to stoke Bertha and scratch gently behind her ears. Being able to reach out to her mind I knew where she liked to be scratch and she seemed happy with us.

'Well I guess that would be fair and reasonable, if you don't mind paying the vet's bills ?' replied Dai, 'she obviously likes you.'

By the time we got back to home Renesme was happy and content. She cuddled Esme and with the biggest doe eyes she could manage she asked if she could visit Bertha every day. I noticed Esme's nose quiver as she smelt Bertha on Renesme and wondered what was going through her mind at that moment, thirst or revulsion ?

Renesme explained about Bertha's pain and my offer to organise a vet. Esme looked surprised 'Do you really think that is such a good idea ?' she asked me. 'We are supposed to be encouraging them to sell up and move out, not making them more comfortable !"

I rolled my eyes in annoyance, 'Bertha is in pain, she needs a vet.'

Jacob muttered something under his breath and my anger flashed. 'Look if it's a problem I will pay for the vet myself.'

'Oh yes, how ?' snapped back Jacob.

'I will find a way.' I said petulantly and just then my phone buzzed, not a number I recognised.

'Hello'

'Hey, it that you Leah ? This is John from the baseball game.'

'Hey John, how would you like to help an animal in distress ?'

'Errr, what's up.'

'Our neighbours horse is not well and I promised to organise a vet in return for riding lessons for my little cousin only I don't have any cash on me and my family think's it's a dumb idea."

There was a pause for a few moments then John replied 'As it happens I know a vet, a good vet, he has a few problems but as a vet he is outstanding.'

Now it was my turn to pause, 'Is that a good thing or a bad thing ?'

'He's my neighbour and he owes me a few favours but he can be a bit of a handful.' John laughed 'He gets on better with animals than humans.'

'Ok, any idea of how much he charges ?'

'He will do it for free for me, we would just have to pay for any medication or surgery. Let me have a word with him and see what I can arrange with him.'

'Thanks, that would be amazing, thank you John.'

'Call you right back.' And with that he was gone.

When I looked up I saw that we had been joined by Alice and Jasper. All of them looked mad at me and my anger flashed again. 'Well you wouldn't help me.' I snarled, and stomped out into the back yard.

I resolutely ignored the murmured conversations coming from inside the house and looked up into sky, where the first stars were beginning to appear and a quarter moon was rising over the horizon. After a while I sensed rather than heard Alice and Jasper join me in the yard.

'How about we take a walk' said Jasper quietly and they carried on into the woods. I sighed and followed them through the quiet of the sleeping forest. Jasper paused to let me catch up with him while Alice carried on ahead.

As we walked Jasper talked about conflict and strategy, playing the game, manoeuvring to gain advantage and avoiding direct conflict unless there was no other option. I guessed he was referring to my handing of the vet situation and although I conceded that I could have handled it better I still felt that there I had been right.

We arrived a clearing in the forest where Alice was waiting calmly in the middle. Jasper explained that my task was to get to the odd shaped conifer on the other side of the clearing. Alice looked diminutive in the moonlight but I knew that her vampire strength could rip me to pieces and she would be faster than me in my human form. "Rules ?" I asked Jasper, he shook his head and stepped back.

I thought of my relationship with Alice and groaned, she would want revenge for my hurting Jasper. Slowly I stripped off and neatly stacked my clothes before changing into my wolf form.

Instantly I felt Jacob's presence and explained my task. The problem was that I did not want a direct confrontation so I looped off into the forest stretching my muscles and getting a feel for the lie of the land.

Running is the still forest was exhilarating, it had been too long since I had last felt the wolf within me and was tempted just to keep running and leave them to their stupid games. At last I tracked round in a circle thinking of approaching the conifer from the other direction. My wolf senses felt Alice before I saw her, standing on a buff overlooking the forest looking straight at me.

Racing forward I headed for the target flat out hearing Jacob's encouraging thoughts but also hearing that Alice was nearer the conifer so I turned to cross her track looking for any feature in the landscape that I could use for my advantage. There was nothing that I could find to give me an advantage so I made my way up to the buff that I had seen Alice on earlier. It gave a view down onto the clearing, the conifer and Alice standing with Jasper in the middle of the clearing looking up at me.

I lay down with my head resting on my paws wondering what to do next. A gentle breeze ruffled my fur and my subconscious stirred. If I could let my mind wander with the breeze perhaps I could distract them. Closing my eyes I relaxed and let my wolf spirit fly with the breeze towards the clearing. I could hear them whispering to each other. Alice saying that this was a waste of time and Jasper being quietly confident that I would think of something.

As a spirit I could not physically touch them or anything around them and I groaned in frustration. They both looked round immediately, 'What was that ?' asked Alice. 'Sounded like Leah groaning' whispered Jasper, ' but it was very faint, do you think she is hurt ?' Alice glowered at his concern for me.

So if their hearing was acute enough to hear me on the wind perhaps I could use that to distract them. I rode a gust of wind the edge of the clearing and groaned again. They both turned and raced towards the sound and I led them further and further into the forest. When I thought they were far enough away I rode the wind back to the buff and my prostate form.

Rising to my feet I staggered with wooziness from the transition back into my own body but shaking my head and ignoring Jacob's questions I ran flat out down the hill to the conifer. When I got there I put my head back and howled in exhilaration. Alice burst through the trees and shouted at me to shut up before the whole town heard me.

I growled back ignoring the warning shouts from Jacob in my head and lunged at her. Alice somersaulted and landing on my back griped my neck, choking me. She breathed in my ear, "shut up or I will squeeze harder. I shook my head and rolled over trying to dislodge her but she held on as I blacked out.

When I came too I saw that Jacob had arrived and was standing over me protectively. Esme was speaking so she must have joined us as well. She was criticising Jasper for taking such a risk and Alice was arguing back clearly pleased to have gotten the better of me.

'Hey kiddo, you OK ?' asked Jacob seeing me conscious again. My groan brought the others over to look down on me. 'Sorry Leah' said Alice, clearly not sorry at all. 'We can't have the whole neighbourhood know we are here.'

Jasper was also concerned about unwelcome attention. 'If anyone comes out here they will find your wolf tracks. I think it would be a good idea if you made a trail north. Do you think you could go over the pass up there and down the valley on the other side to where the road crosses the stream ? Jacob could take your clothes and pick you up there in your Jeep.'

I blinked my eyes and rolled upright. My throat still felt raw but was already healing. I glared at Alice but she just smiled triumphantly at me so I turned and loped off through the forest. My mood improved as I settled into a steady rhythm. Going over the pass would be hard work but the cold night air was refreshing and most importantly did not smell of vampires.

At the pass I looked back, they were long gone and the clearing was empty again. I was tempted to let out a wolf howl but resisted, annoying as she was Alice had been right, we did not want a hunter out after me or Jacob.

I had to wait a while for Jacob but was wrapped up warm in my wolf's fur. When he finally arrived he questioned me about what had happened. He was impressed by my spirit walking but concerned that I had left my wolf body unprotected.

The next few days passed uneventfully then on Saturday morning John phoned me again to say that Marcus, his friend the vet would come out to see Bertha that afternoon and that the next game of baseball would be Sunday morning, would my friend and I like to go along ?

I agreed to both and that afternoon Renesmee and I were exercising Bertha in her yard when a large white panelled van with "Linda's decorating and gardening" painted on the sides drove up and out jumped the most beautiful man I had ever seen, would even David Beckham to shame.

He smiled a superstar model smile and held out his hand, 'You must be Leah, I'm Marcus.' My brain heard but was too stunned to react until Renesmee jabbed me. 'Oh hi, yes I'm Leah and this is Renesmee and over there is Bertha and Dai the owner is just coming out of the house.'

It was only when the introductions had been made that I realised that there was a small woman with Marcus, close cropped fair hair wearing overalls, who waved her hand at everyone 'Hi, I'm Linda' and pointed to the van.

Dai explained Bertha's background and I added my observations from the last couple of days while Marcus watched Renesmee walk Betha round the yard. When Marcus turned to ask me a question I felt my knees go gooey and I struggled to form a coherent answer.

The others followed Marcus as he went to stroke Bertha, leaving me standing rooted to the spot until I heard Linda laughing quietly. I turned and glared at her. 'It's OK' she said, 'you are not the first and won't be the last. It's not his fault he's the way he is. Just try to be objective and you might eventually get used to him.'

Her words swirled round me and left me dazed. 'How, why, what ?' I stuttered.

'He's always been a charmer, but that's not been much help to him, if anything it's caused him more problems than it's worth. That's why he keeps me around, to explain to the people he meets that he just wants to be left alone and that's why he is a vet. Animals love him for who he is not what he is.'

My brain was starting to recover now, 'So he's gay ?'

'Well I don't think that he is that easy to classify, Metrosexual might be a better description.'

'So how come you are immune to him ?'

'Because I'm gay.'

I looked round at her and saw her looking at Marcus, apparently oblivious to my reaction. 'What ?' I asked in embarrassment, feeling my cheeks heat up.

Linda glanced at me then, assessing my reaction. 'I don't parade my sexuality but I also don't hide it. This being a university town makes it easier for odd people like Marcus and I to be accepted but if it's a problem for you then we can leave.'

My embarrassment deepened and I was sure my face was a flaming beacon. 'No, not at all, I don't want you to leave.'

'That's good then.' And with that she walked forward to join Marcus.

I stared after her my mind in turmoil.

Taking a deep breath I focused on Bertha and joined the others. Renesmee seemed to have fallen under Marcus's spell and I wondered what to say to her later.

The conversation seemed to be about Arthritis and the best way to treat it. Marcus summarised for me, he agreed with my observation that Bertha was in pain and in his opinion it was the start of arthritis. There was nothing he could do to cure her but more exercise would help to slow down the spread of the arthritis.

Renesmee was bouncing up and down with excitement and promising to come over every day to exercise Bertha and even Dai seemed in awe of Marcus.

We were all invited in for tea but Linda and Marcus declined saying that they were needed at the animal rescue centre where they helped out. Marcus gave me a poster for a fund raiser black tie ball they were holding in a couple of week's time and with his dazzling film star smile asked if we would be interested in going along.

Renesmee practically burst with enthusiasm and promised that we would all be there. I stepped in and promised that I would talk it over with Renesmee's parents and get back to them.


	9. Part 2 Chapter 9 Play ball or piss off

All Twilight characters and storyline belong to Stephanie Meyers

**Leah Clearwater: Fire, Redemption and Salvation**

**Chapter 9**

That evening Renesmee was alternatively trying to coerce and charm her parents into agree to going along to the animal rescue fund raiser. Their resistance seemed to be more about principle than any real objection. I wondered what the reaction would be to two vampires and a hybrid turning up, especially when those vampires hunted animals rather than people. Would the animal lovers prefer the vampires to hunt people rather than animals ?

Jacob of course was willing to take Renesmee, anything to please her. I fidgeted with Linda's card and wondered when to call her and what to say when I did call her. Renesmee dragged me into her pitch, 'Leah wants to go, she has the hots for Marcus don't you Leah.'

They all looked at me amused and I burned in embarrassment again, 'Marcus is beautiful but no Renesmee I don't have the "hots" for him.' She pouted at me annoyed that I was contradicting her and undermining her pitch. 'but yes I do want to go to the fund raiser and Esme I think it would be a good way for us to make friends in the local community.'

Esme nodded in agreement and Renesmee almost exploded in excitement. While Esme and Bella were trying to calm her down I added, 'I will ask Linda for more background information so that we know what to expect.'

Edward nudged Bella, who glanced at him then followed his gaze to me and she looked puzzled. 'Who's Linda ?'

I glared at Edward who grinned back as Renesmee interrupted to say that Linda had brought Marcus in her van, and …. Her voice trailed off as she realised that all the adults were looking at me.

So Edward had been reading my mind AGAIN had he ! Focusing on Linda's card I explained, 'Linda is Marcus's minder, she helps out at the animal rescue centre, she's a decorator and gardener and she's gay.'

'Oh' responded Esme, 'So is Marcus gay as well ?'

'What does "gay" mean ?', asked Renesmee.

Ha, serves Edward right for butting in, let's see how he gets out of this one !

There was an embarrassed silence as everybody tried to avoid the issue. It was Edward who eventually stepped in, 'All that matters is how good a vet he is and I think it's time we were going home.' As they were leaving Bella mouthed 'Call me.'

Lying in bed I wondered what Bella wanted me to call her about and when would be the best time to call her. During the day she was at college, in the evenings she was with Renesmee and at night she was with Edward, I flinched, I did not want to think of that. Maybe lunch time would be best.

I had weird dreams that night of Marcus and Linda; it felt like they were the key to something, but what ?

The next day dawned bright and clear, time to play ball.

Jacob was happy; weekends were an awkward time for him. Bella and Edward wanted Renesmee to themselves so he was happy to hang out with me, but the Cullen's were worried. Esme kept on warning Jacob and I not to show off our strength, not to call attention to ourselves, not to get into trouble.

It was a relief to escape in the Jeep, kitted out in our new WalMart disguise we deliberately arrived early to get in a bit of practice, not that we had any problems hitting, catching or throwing, but to try to underperform and disguise our real ability.

'Yo, guys, good to see you.' Called out John as he drove up in a shiny sports car with a babe in the passenger seat. 'I brought Rachael with me, to keep you company Leah.'

Rachael did not look pleased and said hello with a forced smile.

The awkwardness was eased as the others arrived and fooled around as young bucks will, welcoming Jacob with respect for his size but being much more curious about me.

John was all smiles like he had found a shiny new toy to show and tell and I wondered what he had been saying about me.

John pulled me into the group, 'Right, who's going to put their money on the line. Now that you've met her do you think she can hit the ball like us ?'

Oh God, please let the ground swallow me up.

He had however, supported me when I needed help with a vet so I shrugged him off and walked over to the batting plate. "Enough bullshit, play ball or piss off.'

They laughed and came over arguing about who was going to pitch. John gave me a bat and took position close infield. The pitcher waited for the catcher to get in position and then started throwing some warm up balls. I glanced around to see where Jacob and the rest of the fielders had paced themselves. There was a blacked out SUV in the shade under the trees on the other side of the park. Coincidence or Cullen surveillance ?

I gritted my teeth and swung the bat, had they so little confidence in me ? I could feel my wolf urging me to let rip and smash the ball right out of the park. Taking a deep breath to calm my wolf I nodded to the pitcher and prepared myself. The pitcher must have had money riding on the outcome as the first ball flashed past me, much faster than the warm up balls. 'Strike 1' I heard the umpire call.

John shouted encouragement and I nodded. Jacob coughed, and I nodded to him too, it would be harder to control the hit on a ball going that fast.

Taking another deep breath I prepared myself and this time I matched the speed and the curve of the ball. There was a satisfying smack as I made contact and the ball flew straight to Jacob at mid field. Perfect, I exhaled with relief.

There was a round of applause from those who had won their bets and a high five from John who grinned like he had just won prize of the month. The rest looked pissed but Jacob was grinning in relief.

I gave John a hug and gave him his bat back before walking over to join Rachael on the side lines.

'Good shot.' she said.

'Thanks' was my careful reply

'He's talked only of you since he met you.'

Oh no, what have I dropped myself into now. 'Has he ?' was my guarded response.

'Seems to think the sun shines out of your ass.'

And that's my fault because ? 'and what do you think ?' I probed.

'I thought you were going to take him away from me.'

The thought of me competing with an uptown girl like Rachael for John's affection made me laugh a bitter bark.

'and now ? What's changed your mind ?'

She turned to face me, eyes hidden behind her sunglasses. 'You are not what I expected, the way you told them to piss off, the way you hit Glen's ball straight to your brother. There's way more to you than what John described and I don't think you are after him.'

Damn, if she had noticed my ball control then would the others as well ? Maybe Esme and Jacob had been right about not getting involved. 'Please believe me, I'm not after John, I don't even want to play baseball, I just wanted us to make some friends.'

Rachael seemed to relax then, her body loosened up and she lifted her sunglasses onto her head, sweeping her hair behind her ears. She had been crying and there were dark circles under her eyes. She motioned to a park bench nearby 'Shall we ?'

As we walked over I asked how long she had known John and she told me all about meeting him in their sophomore year and sharing a flat with their friends and his plans to go on to do a masters and maybe even a doctorate. The way she talked about John reminded me of Emily talking about Sam, the way she sat reminded me of Emily before …. 'Rachael, are you pregnant ?'

She flushed and started a denial but stopped abruptly and nodded, a tear rolling quietly down her check. 'I only found out last week, I was going to tell John but he was so full of meeting you.'

Great, Fantastic, What a mess ! I turned back to the game so that she could compose herself. The boys were playing away in blissful ignorance of the drama enveloping me. Jacob waved and John trotted over to ask if we were enjoying the game.

Was there anything I could say to repair the situation or would I just make matters worse. 'We were talking about babies.'

'Oh, right, well have fun.' And he backed off rapidly, re-joining the game.

Having fun was not how I would describe it. With a sigh I turned back to Rachael who was looking at me in desperation. 'What shall I tell him ?' she asked.

What kind of a question was that to ask me ? 'Whatever you were going to tell him before I came along and messed things up for you.'

She looked about to cry again, 'He doesn't want children, says we are too young, and my parents will kill me and I don't know what to do !'

Ha, well you should have thought of that earlier then ! but I didn't want Rachael to have a breakdown in the middle of the park. Controlling my cynical impulse I tried to be more measured, 'You won't know his reaction until you tell him and once your parents get over the shock I am sure they will support you.'

'But what if he doesn't want children, what if he wants me to have an abortion and my parents have paid out so much for my college education.'

I thought of what Bella had gone through to have Renesmee and my tone hardened, 'Rachael, this is your body, you have to decide what you want to do and you have to decide quickly. Don't let other people make your decision for you.'

'What if I make the wrong decision.' She wailed.

'Rachael, look at me.' She quit snivelling long enough to look at me properly, 'You are old enough and educated enough to make this decision. This is probably going to be the most important decision of your life. You need to know why you made whatever decision you make and you need to understand that the decision will stay with you for the rest of your life so be prepared to live with the consequences.'

'That's easy for you to say, you're not pregnant.' She hissed at me.

I winced and leaned forward with my hands covering my eyes and whispered 'I can't get pregnant. So I will never have the luxury of being in your position.'

'Oh no, I'm sorry.' Was her softer reply and she put her hand on my shoulder. 'I just wish I had someone to talk to, all my friends here are so busy studying and my mum has her own problems to deal with.'

I sat back up slowly, 'Don't you have counsellors you could talk to ?'

'Yes there's a pregnancy advisory service, I went there earlier in the week but they didn't tell me anything I didn't already know and there is so much pressure these days, you know pro-life and pro-choice and I just feel squeezed in the middle.'

'Well I'm no counsellor.' But as I said it I remembered that I was supposed to be a shaman and wasn't this what shaman's were supposed to do ? 'Do you have any sisters or aunts you could talk to ?'

Rachael shook her head, 'No sisters, a younger brother but he's no help. I have a couple of elderly aunts but I'm not close enough to talk to them, not like we are talking now.'

As she was speaking I thought of Bella again, 'I have a sister, well a step sister, who nearly died having her baby. Her husband wanted her to abort because of the risk to her health but she refused. Nearly killed him having to see what she went through. They are students here; I could ask them if they would talk to you about their experience if that would help.'

'Thank you Leah that would be helpful, especially how they manage child care while being students.'

'I will speak to them after the game and call you. You had best speak to John so that he can come with you if you want.'

Rachael gave me her cell phone number and our conversation turned to our backgrounds. For an uptown girl she was easy to get along with and she seemed genuinely interested in my being a tribal shaman. We watched Jacob bat, he seemed to effortlessly knock the ball into the outfield for a home run, to high fives from his team but I knew he had pulled his shot. Now I better understood Emmett's frustration at having to play games with mere mortals.

At the end of the game we rattled home in my Jeep, Jacob full of happiness at the camaraderie on his team while I worried about what to say to Bella and Edward. The blacked out SUV had pulled out from under the trees when the game ended so they probably already knew about my conversation with Rachael.

Back at Jacob's barn I got out as well and walked over to the main house while Jacob went to get changed. Bella was waiting for me in the kitchen and gestured for me to sit down, her expression neutral.

'So why do you think we can help Rachael ?'

Come right to the point why don't you ! 'Just talk about why you decided to have Renesmee.'

'And the part about being a vampire ?'

'They don't need to know about that.'

She scoffed in disbelief, 'How can you compare what I went through with Rachael's situation ? I was married, I wanted children.'

I leaned forward and put my hand on hers, she flinched as my heat met her cold skin. 'You had to fight to have Renesmee, you gave your life to have Renesmee, and you will have to live with your decision for the rest of eternity. I think that qualifies you to talk to Rachael. I'm not asking you to make her decision for her. Just talk to her about your experience and if John is there then Edward can talk to him about what it felt like from his perspective.'

Bella lifted our hands so that our palms were touching. 'This could break them apart.'

I nodded, 'or it could bring them together.'

'Make the call', she said, 'invite them over here this evening, say 8 pm ?

I called Rachael and gave her directions. She said that John was in shock but that they would come over for 8 and asked if I would be there.

I glanced at Bella, who nodded and Rachael sounded relieved when I confirmed that I would be present. Great, a night talking about babies, other people's babies, just what I did not want.

Bella was smiling at my expression.

'What ?'

'You try so hard to be cynical but you always seem to do the right thing, be in the right place at the right time. I really hope that one day you get your happy ending.'

Grrrr, like I needed Bella's sympathy, but she walked me out to my Jeep and gave me a hug before I drove off.

Esme and Carlisle were reading in the lounge when I walked in, so I carried on to the kitchen and after putting pizza and fries in the oven to cook reached for my phone to call Linda. I looked at her card and at my phone, my mind blank.

'Just ask if you can meet up with her sometime tomorrow.' Suggested Esme from the doorway to the lounge.

I raised my eye brows; she rolled her eyes, 'just a suggestion' and went back into the lounge.

I called, Linda answered and we arranged to meet up at 3 pm at the animal rescue centre.

When I put the phone down and reached for the oven cloth I realised that neither Bella or Esme had asked how the ball game had gone, so were my suspicions about the SUV correct ?

'Esme' I called out, 'There was a blacked out SUV parked under the trees by the ball park. Do you know anything about that ?'

It was Carlisle who quietly replied, 'I asked Alice and Jasper to be on hand in case you needed any help.'

So my suspicions had been correct, I left my pizza in the oven and walked through to the lounge where Carlisle was waiting for me, sitting motionlessly in his armchair.

'Why would I need help ?' I asked petulantly.

'It's down to me to think the unthinkable Leah; I wanted help to be there on the spot, not the other side of the town. As it happened you did not need any help but that's what insurance policies are for. You have them even though you hope they will never be needed.'

There was not a lot I could say to that, so I just shrugged and went to rescue my pizza before it burnt.

As I sat at the table Esme came through and sat opposite me, her dark eyes indicating that she would need to hunt soon. 'Carlisle was only thinking of you.'

'I know' I replied and thought back to the unexpected turn the conversation had taken with Rachael. 'I worry that what seems a good idea at the time turns out to land us in trouble. Jacob, Alice, Jasper and now Bella and Edward all get sucked in to helping me.'

Esme shook her head, 'it's not your fault and we don't want you worrying about it, it's what makes you unique. Who knows how this will all work out but whatever happens we face it as a family Leah. Even Alice and Rosalie would be there to help you if you needed them.'

I appreciated the gesture but wandered if it would be rude to ask her to leave so that I could eat without the food tasting of vampire. Esme saw my hesitation and with a sad smile went back to the lounge. As I ate I pondered the enigma that was Esme. What would I do in her situation; I shook my head, that kind of thinking would only get me into trouble.

The evening passed with chores and walking Bertha with Renesmee. She chatted too much, full of Jacob this and Jacob that and Daddy this and Daddy that, but I was surprised to feel sorry for Bella, who seemed to be the only one trying to give Renesmee some structure and discipline.

We walked together back to her house as the sun was setting, the evening chill blowing in from the west. I was looking forward to a wolf run with Jacob, to feel the wind in my hair and ground beneath my feet, before a night of baby talk.

The wolf run was fun in a way but Jacob was Renesmee this and Renesmee that. Ahhhh, was there any way to escape, to spend some time on my own ! It was weird though hearing Renesmee's comments about me in Jacob's memories. She seemed to respect me, which was as it should be, but still weird.

I had left Jacob roaming the mountains and was now sitting on the porch waiting for Rachael and John. In the background I could hear Bella and Edward trying to get Renesmee into bed. In the end Bella had to lay down the house rules and shoe Edward out of Renesmee's bedroom.

'Right now my advice to Rachael will be to have an abortion.' Hissed Bella in frustration as they joined me on the porch.

Edward tried to massage her shoulders but she shook him free, 'and you don't help pandering to her.' She grumbled at him but he kept going and slowly Bella relaxed and he pulled her into a cuddle.

'She grows up so fast and we have so little time with her.' He whispered.

Bella turned to me then, 'I wanted to thank you.' She said 'for spending time with Renesemee, helping her with Bertha. You know you are the only one in our family she respects ?'

I shrugged, I had heard Renesmee's comments in Jacob's thoughts, 'You lot spoil her.' Was my caustic response, then I paused before carrying on, 'but you are the one she loves.'

Bella laughed 'she has a strange way of showing it then, but hey, when you have children can I be aunty Bella and take them horse riding ?'

'Chance would be a fine thing.' I grunted but was interrupted by the sound of car turning onto our road.

Edward and Bella went back into the house switching on table lamps for their human guests to see by and lighting the fire in the hearth for warmth. The gentle light gave them colour, appearing to be more human although nothing could detract from the perfection of their looks. I noticed that while Bella might not be aging now she seemed much more mature than the sallow teenager I had once known in La Push.

Greeting Rachael and John I took them into the lounge and introduced them to Bella and Edward. I could hear their sharp intake of breath as they met the vampires but Edward turned on his charm and soon they were relaxed sitting on opposite sofas with me sprawled on a rug in front of the fire, like some overlarge guard dog.

They talked of Dartmouth College, boring, and baseball, boring, and mutual acquaintances, more boring and conversation flowed freely as they settled into their roles as students complaining about deadlines and too much course work and future aspirations.

Then they started talking about me, I don't know who started as I was half asleep from the warmth of the fire and I was wary at first but the banter was good humoured, with Bella telling Rachael how good I was with their daughter and Rachael saying how easy she found me to talk to, yeah right, whatever.

Which lead on to talking about Renesmee and Bella's labour, the conversation started to turn emotional and I wondered how much Bella remembered of her pre vampire life, but Edward would have crystal clear memory. I glanced at Edward and he gave me a sad smile, I gave him a silent mental apology for having to relive that experience but he seemed to make an effort to contribute, to phrase his experience in human terms, and I could see his words were affecting John and Rachael.

Then Edward and Bella started asking John and Rachael about their aspirations and expectations. I'm no psychologist but I could tell that John cared deeply about Rachael and would sacrifice his aspirations to look after her whatever her decision. Was that enough I wondered, to build a lasting relationship ? It seemed a good start.

I stayed by the fire when Bella and Edward showed their guests out at the end of the night, with mutual assurances of staying in touch and meeting up again. When they came back inside I held my hands up, 'I'm really sorry to drag you into this.'

'Nonsense' said Bella and Edward together, Bella continued, 'that was lovely, well not their situation, but it was lovely chatting with them.' And glanced at Edward for his response, he nodded, 'they are both good people and it would be nice to socialise as a couple.'

They started going gooey eyed at each other then so I beat a hasty retreat.


	10. Part 2 Chapter 10 Rosalie and Linda

All Twilight characters and storyline belong to Stephanie Meyers

**Leah Clearwater: Fire, Redemption and Salvation**

**Chapter 10**

Back at my house Rosalie and Emmett had arrived and Rosalie was even more pissed off than usual. 'Ah, here's the spoilt brat at last. Have you finished messing up other people's lives for the night ?'

I just looked at her blankly while Esme scolded her for speaking to me like that.

'Esme, if you want to spoil your lap dog then fine, but don't drag the rest of us into it. You've had Alice and Jasper chasing after her, dumped humans onto Bella and Edward and nearly exposed us all over a stupid game of baseball.'

Taking a step back I struggled to find words.

Esme raised her voice, 'Rosalie, do not speak about Leah like that.'

Rosalie shot straight back, 'but it's true, can you not see what is happening, has she got you too wrapped round her little finger ?'

Esme grabbed Rosalie by her shoulders, 'THAT'S NONE OF YOUR CONCERN.'

'YES IT IS.' Screamed back Rosalie, by this time both Emmett and Carlisle were on their feet.

My mouth finally started working, 'Stop. Please stop.' But I was completely ignored. 'STOP' I shouted.

Rosalie did not stop but Esme had and as she turned towards me Rosalie stopped long enough for me to add, 'You are right Rosalie and I apologise.'

'It's not your fault Leah' responded Esme but Rosalie was nodding 'At least she knows what you are too blind to see yourselves.' Rosalie continued her rant, albeit without shouting now.

'I promised I would help you rebuild that Jeep and I will keep that promise, TONIGHT.'

Esme spoke up again, 'but Rosalie it can wait, let Leah get some rest.'

"Ha, said Rosalie, if Leah has time to go playing baseball with her new friends then she has time to rebuild that Jeep. The sooner we finish the sooner she can leave.'

I nodded and leaving by the back door I walked over to the garage followed by Rosalie and Emmett.

My Jeep stood in its usual place next to Carlisle's big black shinny expensive looking car. On the workbench I could see that Rosalie and Emmett had brought toolboxes and what looked like a car manual. Also, lounging against the workbench was Jacob with a big cheesy grin.

'Hey Blondie, heard you screaming loud enough to wake the whole town, thought I would come over and give Leah a hand.'

I ran over and gave him a big hug, 'Thank you Jacob.'

Rosalie snorted, 'Well I guess the more people we have helping the sooner we can get finished. How are you on cars, mutt.'

'Better than a blond bimbo' quipped Jacob.

It was good having Jacob here, diffusing Rosalie's animosity and I started to relax a little.

'Right, engine out to reduce the weight then we will strip the suspension system to check for body frame rust and damage. I want a full list of spares we are going to need before morning.'

Within minutes the hood was off, battery unplugged and Rosalie was head first in the engine compartment disconnecting wires and hoses while keeping up a running commentary for me on what she was doing and what connected to what. How she expected me to remember all that I had no idea. I just hoped that Jacob was following it better than me.

Emmett was under the Jeep disconnecting the clutch and exhaust, without bothering to tell me what he was doing.

Then Emmett and Jacob, one each side, simply lifted the engine block straight out of the Jeep and placed it on some blocks that Rosalie laid out on the floor.

I was left standing on one side trying to stay out of the way when I noticed Carlisle and Esme quietly enter the garage. Carlisle drove his car out of the garage to make space for all the parts that were being removed from my Jeep. Esme asked Rosalie what they could do to help.

There was a pause, 'I'm sorry Esme, about earlier, you don't need to help, I'm sure we can manage.' Stuttered Rosalie.

'We want to help Leah.' Was Esme's succinct and pointed reply. Esme may have heard Rosalie's apology but it sounded like she was not going to forgive and forget any time soon.

'Ok, sure, how about stripping out the Jeep's interior, down to the bare metal wherever possible.' Was Rosalie's conciliatory response.

With the engine out Jacob and I concentrated on the suspension and axle systems. We took one side of the car, Rosalie and Emmett took the other. Jacob took time to explain to me what everything was and how it worked and why it was important. I learnt about wheel bearings and drive rods and all the ways they could go wrong.

Along the way Jacob exchanged quips with Emmett, mostly sexual innuendos about whatever parts they were working on and a lot of good natured jibes at Rosalie's dictates and my ignorance.

Rosalie was making a list of all the parts that need replacing and spares that I would need to take with me and discussed with Esme and Carlisle what I would need inside the Jeep. The obvious like seats and the not so obvious like short wave radio, refrigerator, concealed compartments and all sorts.

As a grey overcast day dawned the Jeep was in bits, stripped down to its skeleton and I was exhausted. Jacob was starting to fade as well but Rosalie powered on, starting the engine strip down.

I was past remembering what bolt did what and why that circlip was essential to the oil flow. Hopefully putting it all back together would be slower and easier to follow.

Bella and Edward arrived with Renesmee, to drop her off on their way to exam revision. Renesmee wanted to know what was going on so Rosalie bent down and picked her up to show her all the parts that had been removed from the Jeep. 'Look Nessie we are going to rebuild Leah's Jeep better than new and then she can leave.'

'But I don't want Aunty Leah to leave.' Replied Renesmee in confusion.

'Nonsense' was Rosalie's firm response, 'The sooner she leaves the better for all of us.'

Renesmee's face contorted, 'I don't want Aunty Leah to leave, I love Aunty Leah.'

'Oh not you too.' And glaring at me 'what have you done to her to twist her round your little finger, you nasty little bitch, I should have ripped your throat out when …..'

Rosalie was interrupted by Renesmee's wail and fractions of a second later, Edward and Bella were right there hands on Renesmee, 'Give her to me NOW' hissed Bella. 'DO IT' hissed Edward.

A startled Rosalie let go of Renesmee and took a step back, into Emmett's arms.

'Mummy, I don't want Aunty Leah to go.' Wailed Renesmee.

'Shush' whispered Bella, but Renesmee being far more like a young child than normal was in full wailing mode and was not going to "shush" for mummy or anyone else.

Jacob had moved as soon as Renesmee had wailed and I had grabbed his arm, not wanting him to get involved and knowing that this was between Rosalie, Bella and Edward. Even with me hanging onto him he had reached Renesmee now and held out his arms for her, but she saw me and held out her arms to me.

Reflexively I held out my hands and Bella passed Renesmee to me, engulfing me in a wave of emotions.

I cuddled her under my chin and hummed until her emotions eased enough for us to talk.

'I don't want you leave.'

'I'm not leaving today.'

'I don't want you leaving, ever.'

'It's not for you to say when I leave and my destiny lies elsewhere.'

'What do you mean – destiny ?'

'Well do you know that I am a shaman ?'

She nodded her head.

'As a shaman I must return to my people, after I have travelled, learning what I can along the way, so that I may serve my people better.'

She tilted her head towards me, 'When will you leave ?'

'When the time is right. The lesson I want you to learn Renesmee, is to make the most of the people around you while you have them because nothing is permanent.'

She looked at me with wide eyes.

'So hush now, go back to your mum and tell her how much you love her. You can come back with Jacob and help me if you like.'

With that I handed Renesmee back to Bella, who looked at me startled then carried her outside, followed by Edward and Jacob.

The silence created by their leaving was swiftly filled by Rosalie hissing at me 'What did you say to her ?'

My expression must have been confused.

'Nessie was using her mind link with you stupid.'

'Was she ?' I asked in surprise, up to now I had not let Renesmee use her mind link with me.

'Duuh , of course.'

Esme appeared between us. 'Enough Rosalie, you have caused enough trouble today as it is.'

'It's OK Esme, I just said the same as you, but phrased it rather differently. She knows now that I will leave when it is time and that I must return to my people as shaman.'

'Oh, well that's ok then I guess.'

'So can we finish up here so that I can get some sleep ?'

Carlisle joined us, 'I need to go to college, I'm giving a lecture on Endocrinology this morning, so Rosalie behave yourself, Leah get some sleep, Esme call me if there are any more issues, Rosalie I do not want to be called, do I make myself clear.' The last part was said slowly and deliberately and included Emmett.

'Of course not' stammered Rosalie, 'best behaviour' added Emmett. After a quick hug for Esme and a nod to me Carlisle left and we moved back to the workbench to continue stripping down the engine.

Emmett was kept busy lifting big heavy castings while Esme was running around finding containers to hold all the little nuts, bolts and screws that Rosalie was taking out of the engine.

Jacob came back, with Renesmee piggy backing so that she could see everything that was going on and continued his explanation of what Rosalie was doing.

Gone was the banter from the previous night, there was a palpable air of tension in the workshop that was giving me a migraine. With a sigh I reached for Renesmee's hand and let her mind link with mine, I explained as best I could that Rosalie would always be there, would always love her and however flawed and thoughtless Rosalie could be at times that love would always be there, for ever. So Renesmee should be friends with Rosalie again. Renesmee nodded and reached for Rosalie, who looked surprised and then looked at me with suspicion until she caught Renesmee's thoughts, at which she hugged her close.

The tension in the room eased and Renesmee played with Esme while Rosalie and Jacob finished off stripping the engine, some banter managing to break through the ice. With relief I heard Rosalie declare work over for now, she would order up the parts I needed and then the rebuild could start. Staggering with lack of sleep I made my way to my bedroom and flaked out, fully dressed, on top of my bed.

What seemed like a moment later Esme was shaking me awake. 'Leah I know you are exhausted but you arranged to meet Linda at 3.' I tried to focus and felt a roar of blood through my head. 'Would you like me call Linda for you and re-arrange ?'

I shook my head, even though it hurt, and forced myself to get up. Not long ago I had been running patrols all night and working all day. One all-nighter was not going to stop me. A mug of coffee and I would be good to go.

Staggering to my feet I stumbled to the kitchen where Esme, bless her, was already pouring coffee for me. As I gulped the scalding coffee Esme leaned back against the counter, 'How were you planning to get the animal centre ?'

I started to say 'my jeep' when I remembered that it was in lots of little pieces and I groaned. Esme smiled, 'Bella suggested that you borrow her car.' And giving me a key ring with a prancing horse pendant she led me out front where a very shiny, very bright red, very sleek, very sporty car looked out of place. The reflection off the paint work was making my head ache worse.

'Errr, is she sure about this, I mean I appreciate the gesture but it's a bit, well a bit of a stand out motor and will attract a lot of attention.'

'True, but it will be fun and Bella will be upset if you don't use it. That it took Rosalie ages to tune it is of course not relevant. Now go and get a quick shower and some clean clothes, there is plenty of hot water for you.'

The hot shower woke me up and cleared my head a little. Jacob and Renesmee had made me a monster sandwich, which my stomach thanked them for by growling loudly then Jacob walked me out to the sports car which he enthusiastically told me all about. I wasn't bothered about the 0 to 60 performance and grumbled at the lack of anywhere to put a bag of coal or a bale of hay or even a wash basket of dirty clothes for the Laundromat. They laughed and made sure I had my seat belt on and understood the 6 speed manual gear shift before I started the engine.

For all my grumbling the car was fun, I found I could overtake a queue of vehicles at the lights by accelerating past them before the lead vehicle was even across the junction. It did attract attention, but normally I just left that behind. Clearly the biggest problem was the risk of getting pulled over for speeding.

Parking was a dirt strip next to the industrial looking unit that had a hand painted "Animal Rescue centre" hanging over the front. My car looked totally out of place next to the beaten up and rusty SUVs and Pickups and I wondered how safe it would be but the central locking sounded very robust and lights started flashing inside the car so I suspected that Rosalie had fitted an enhanced security system.

With the engine off I could hear and feel the animals in the centre. Forcing myself to focus and dragging up some adrenalin to fight of my exhaustion I rang the bell and stood back waiting to be let in.

A scrawny ill-kempt man with sallow skin opened the door 'What do you want ?' Blinking in surprise I stepped back, 'I arranged to meet Linda at 3.'

The man shut the door and left me outside still blinking in surprise.

A few moments later Linda opened the door while yelling down the corridor about learning some manners. Rolling her eyes she welcomed me and apologised for my initial reception. 'We depend on volunteers to keep this place going and Ramos is a great help, it's just his interpersonal skills are somewhat lacking.'

Leading me inside she started showing me around; here we have the little mammals, rabbits, hamsters; over there we have the invertebrates, pointing to tanks of snakes; out of the back door and into the yard she pointed out the cages for the chipmunks, a shed full of the sounds of dogs and a smaller building which she said was for the cats. At the far end of the yard was a barn where they kept the larger animals such as horses.

She was telling me how much it cost to keep the rescue centre going and how dependent they were on donations as I lost consciousness and collapsed to the ground.

Voices, I could hear voices, moments passed as I tried to recognise the voices, not ones I was familiar with but by listening to their conversation I could make out that Linda was talking to Marcus, more moments passed before my memory caught up. I was in Lebanon, New Hampshire, visiting the animal rescue centre where my already exhausted senses had been overwhelmed by the emotional overload from the animals who had suffered mistreatment and hardship by the negligence and cruelty of their owners.

Exhaustion pulled at my focus and lulled my senses. I was warm and comfortable and too far away to feel the animals. I snuggled down and let my mind rest.

The voices stopped.

'She moved.' observed Linda

'That's a good sign, probably recovering consciousness but still drowsy.' Replied Marcus in a beautiful baritone. It's so unfair I thought that someone as beautiful as Marcus would also have such a beautiful voice.

'Are you sure she will be OK ?' asked Linda, with an edge in her voice.

'I'm sure, well pretty sure. I couldn't find anything wrong with her other than an elevated temperature and Dr Carlisle said she was pretty exhausted.' Reassured Marcus. 'So she probably just needs a rest.'

How did they know Carlisle ? I wondered.

'I don't want anything to happen to her.' Replied Linda gentling stroking my hair.

'Careful Linda, you know how hurt you can get.' Cautioned Marcus.

'but she's so beautiful.' Pleaded Linda.

There was a pause and I thought that perhaps I ought to say something but Linda's rhythmic stroking was very soothing and I was being gently lulled to sleep.

'She looks much more relaxed now and she definitely has something about her but is she your type I wonder ?' mused Marcus.

There was a snort from Linda, 'You mean, am I her type ?'

'Well there is one way to find out.' Offered Marcus.

'Don't you dare.' Protested Linda and she stopped stroking my hair.

Turning towards the sound of Marcus's voice I opened my eyes to see what he was up to.

The sun was setting behind Marcus, giving him an exquisite golden halo.

'Are you an Angel ?' I asked in awe.

Marcus threw back his head and laughed in disbelief. 'You must have hit your head when you fell; I assure you that I am no angel.'

'Then what are you ?' I asked.

'A demon from the pits of hell', he paused, 'or maybe a vampire from your nightmares.'

'You are not a vampire.' I stated with conviction.

'Oh, and how do you know that ?' he grinned

I bit hard on my tongue, tasting blood as I regretted my slip and fought to not reveal any more.

It was Linda who answers for me, 'Don't be silly Marcus, of course you're not a vampire, even I know vampires can't come out during the day !'

She looked down at me, 'Be careful Leah, he's a potential Dorian Grey.'

'Who is Dorian Grey ?'

Linda explained, 'He was a character created by the Irish novelist Oscar Wilde, Dorian sold his soul to the devil so that his portrait would grow old instead of him and he could be beautiful for ever.'

'There was a bit more to it than that.' Exclaimed Marcus. 'Oscar was a genius, ahead of his time and he was pilloried for being different.'

'Would you sell your soul to the devil for eternal beauty ?' I asked.

There was a pause and Marcus changed the subject. 'Enough about me, how are you feeling Leah ?'

'Better thank you, much better. I'm sorry about passing out, just too much emotional overload.'

'That's a relief you gave us quite a scare. Dr Cullen wanted us to call him back as soon as you regained consciousness.'

'How did you speak to Carlisle ?'

Linda looked confused by my question. 'I called the ICE number on your cell phone while Marcus was checking you over and Dr Cullen answered so I passed him to Marcus.'

I turned back to Marcus. 'What's ICE and what did Carlisle say ?'

'ICE is the "In Case of Emergency" speed dial on your cell phone. Dr Cullen said that your elevated temperature was typical of your tribe and that in the absence of any trauma your collapse was probably just exhaustion. He asked that we make you comfortable and let you sleep it off, so we brought you out here away from all the noise of the centre.'

I looked around and saw that we were in a paddock, Linda and I were under a tree and Marcus was leaning against a fence post. Linda passed me my cell phone and I speed dialled Carlisle.

I apologised for causing trouble again and he again told me not to worry about it and quizzed me on how I was and what had caused me to pass out. He asked if I wanted Jacob to come over to pick me up but I said that I felt much better and would drive back later.

Linda was concerned, 'I don't think you are well enough to drive just yet. You should rest a bit longer, would you like somewhere more comfortable ?'

'I'm very comfortable here !' was my automatic response and it was true, I was free of vampire stink, relaxed, comfortable and sleepy.'

'Ahhmm' Marcus cleared his throat, 'well if I am not needed any longer I had best continue my rounds and leave you two in peace.' With that he pushed away from the fence and sauntered back across the paddock.'

Linda returned to stroking my hair and after a few minutes quiet softly asked 'What caused your emotional overload ?'

'I have an affinity with animals as I am a shaman.'

'A shaman ?' queried Linda and I told her a carefully edited version of events leading up to my being appointed shaman for my tribe.

'So can you talk with animals ?' she asked.

To try and better explain I reached out with my mind searching for animals near to us, and found a pair of finches nesting in a nearby thorn bush. They were preparing to roost but the male was curious as to who the noisy animals were and agreed to fly over. I held my arm out and he landed gently on my upturned hand, turning his head from side to side as he inspected us. I heard Linda's sharp intake of breath. I suggested that perhaps if he brought us a twig or something for our nest we would go away and leave them in peace. So he hopped down to the ground and scrabbled around for a nest shaped twig. I held Linda's hand out and he flew up to give her the twig. I thanked him politely and he bobbed his head in return before flying back to his nest.

'Ohhh myyyy Goddddd' did you just do that !' exclaimed Linda.

I nodded and sat up, 'I promised him we would leave him and his mate in peace if he brought us some nesting material, so I think we should go now.'

Linda got to her feet brushing herself down, ' That was amaaaaazing.'

My tummy rumbled and I gave Linda an apologetic grimace, 'I'm sorry I need to eat, I have to keep my metabolism high. Is there anywhere local ?'

Linda dithered for a moment, ' there's a greasy diner just round the corner but I need to let the others know before we go.'

She led me round the side of the paddock to where her van was parked and after nipping back into the centre for what sounded like a lot of shouting she drove us to the diner. It was greasy and run down but the food was good and I ordered double portions.

After stuffing myself with burgers and fries and muffins and milk shake I sat back contentedly and burped loudly, much to the amusement of the other patrons. Linda rolled her eyes.

'Go on, you love a girl with an appetite.' I teased.

She blushed endearingly and whispered, 'not so loud !'

'So what's it like being a lesbian ?' I asked nonchalantly.

There was a groan from Linda.

I forced myself upright and looked at her in concern. 'I'm sorry; I didn't mean to offend you.'

'You didn't offend me, just disappointed me, I thought that you were more sensitive.'

Ooops, put my big foot right in it again.

She continued, 'to identify as a lesbian means to make oneself an outcast from society, to set yourself against the prejudices that mainstream society have against same sex relationships and that prejudice exists everywhere, all of the time. So we band together with the gay guys and any other gender or sexual minority to challenge those prejudices. You for example will experience racial prejudice; some overt and mostly hidden but sexual orientation seems to bring out the extremes in prejudice. Did you know that they used to give us electric shock treatment to try and force us to change our sexuality ?'

I shook my head, 'So how did you become a lesbian ?'

Linda bowed her head into her hands and screamed quietly. Me and my big foot again !

'Sorry, sorry, sorry ….. I whispered.'

She took a deep breath and raised herself upright again, 'One does not become a lesbian, one does not choose to be a lesbian, one is born a lesbian. No one in their right mind would choose to be a lesbian.'

'Ok, so does it depend on the parents or the pregnancy or what ?' I asked, fearful of her response.

This time she smiled, 'good question and no one knows yet. No one has found a genetic link yet or a nurturing link or a hormone link.'

'Do you know many other Lesbians ? I mean are there lots of Lesbians ?' as I thought of all the women I knew and didn't think that any of them were Lesbians, although come to think of it there were a couple of women who might have been.

She shook her head, 'There's a group at the College but not many regulars. This area is too rural and conservative, most gay people head for the big cities. I only stay because of the animal rescue centre.'

'So you do you have an special Lesbian friends, any girlfriends ?' I enquired.

'Not at the moment. I've had a few relationships over the years but Lesbian relationships are difficult to find and difficult to sustain. There are so few of us and just being lesbians is not enough on its own to form a strong relationship. Then there is the relentless pressure from family and society to conform. Although there are icons to follow, like Ellen DeGeneres. Have you heard of her ?'

I shook my head, 'She is a comedienne, and has her own TV show like Oprah, but even Ellen went through some rough patches before she found Portia.'

'Maybe you will find your Portia.' I offered quietly.

'Ha, chance would be a fine thing.' She replied.

I winced as she used the same words I had used the previous night. 'Well if I find any Portia's I will send them to you.' She nodded watching me thoughtfully.

'So where do I fit in ?' I wondered.

Linda looked at me for a while, 'I don't know, I've never met anyone quite like you before. Where do you think you fit in ?'

I shrugged and we got ready to leave. She took me back to the centre and we agreed that I would return later in the week to help with the animals.

Driving home in Bella's car I thought about my afternoon with Linda and realised that this had been the most relaxing time I had experienced since moving to Lebanon, since phasing into a wolf, since Sam had left me. Was that due to Linda or the absence of vampires I wondered ?

Arriving home I phased and went running with Jacob. He kept quiet and allowed me to focus on the wolf within.


	11. Part 2 Chapter 11 Vampire Agony Aunt

All Twilight characters and storyline belong to Stephanie Meyers

**Leah Clearwater: Fire, Redemption and Salvation**

**Chapter 11 Vampire Agony Aunt**

The rain pounding on the roof woke me up to a grey and gloomy day. Yawning and stretching I stumbled down the hall to the kitchen. Diverted by the sound of laughter I poked my head round the door of the lounge. Alice and Renesmee were dancing around the room watched by Esme and Jasper.

'Good afternoon Leah.' Called Esme, 'how are you feeling ?'

This afternoon ? wow I did not usually oversleep and I still felt tired.

'Aunty Leah', called Renesmee, 'come and dance with me and Alice.'

Wincing I shook my head, no dancing, not before breakfast and not while I was still in my pyjamas.

Undeterred Renesmee bounced towards me pirouetting as she came.

'No, no, NO.' I said firmly as I backed away.

Her face fell, 'Are you mad at me ?' she asked.

Sighing I dropped onto my knees so that I was nearer to her height. 'I'm not mad at you Renesmee, it's just that I had a rather intense day yesterday and I need to get myself sorted out before sharing it with you.'

With a wide smile she giggled, 'Oh that, I know all about your afternoon with Linda, when do we get to meet her ?'

Sitting back on my heels with shock I stared at her. 'How ….?'

She shrugged,' Jacob saw it in your thoughts last night so I saw it in his thoughts this morning'

'And Nessie shared it with us.' Added Esme, Alice and Jasper.

Esme floated over and rubbed my arm soothingly, 'It's OK Leah, you know we can't keep secrets in this family.'

There was a muffled squawk from the kitchen that sounded like Jacob trying to say sorry with a mouth full of food.

I blinked unprepared for this exposure, my feelings were so private, so intimate that I had not wanted my feelings to be made public, had trusted my alpha to keep my confidences. With bitterness I now realised that I could no longer rely on that trust and felt a stab of loneliness.

Jacob placed a full plate of fried food on my lap, 'eat.' He commanded, 'the world will make more sense once you have some food inside you.'

Obediently following Jacob's command and my tummy's empty growling and started shovelling food into my mouth, in a hurry to escape back to the privacy of my own room.

'See' said Jacob to Renesmee, 'All she needed was breakfast. How about a dance with me while she eats.' And with that they were off on a wild exuberant barn dance.

Esme had floated back to Alice and was deep in conversation, from the way Alice looked at me from time to time I guessed that they were talking about me. Finishing my plate of food I did the washing up, Jacob was great at cooking but not the cleaning up afterwards. I wondered who did the washing up in their house, Bella perhaps or did it just pile up until Jacob ran out of clean dishes ?

Thinking of Bella reminded me of her mental shield, of all the Cullen's Bella was perhaps the only one I could rely on, although I could not remember whether Renesmee saw through Bella's shield.

Preoccupied I wandered back to my room, showered, dressed and made my way back to the lounge, where Alice and Jasper were waiting for me.

'Feeling better ?' asked Alice politely. Her previous animosity had passed it seemed.

Jasper hung back, probably deciphering my mood, 'How about we have a chat outside in the yard ?'

Nodding to both of them I went outside, no sign of Jacob of Renesmee or Esme, probably out hunting. Jasper was right; sitting under the tree in the fresh air was refreshing and improved my sullen mood.

They stood watching me; standing was as easy to them as sitting.

Alice explained that Esme had asked her to teach me to dance. My startled expression amused her, 'you have a charity ball to go to !' she trilled and I waited for a sarcastic comment about Linda but she just tilted her head to one side and watched my reaction carefully. I had been looking forward to the ball, but not if I was going to have to learn to dance and I wondered if that was showing in my expression.

Jasper explained that he wanted to go through "The Art of War" by Sun Tzu with me, who was apparently an ancient Chinese war lord who invented warfare eons before anyone in the west. Why I would want to know about ancient Chinese warfare was beyond me but apparently I was to do one hour with Alice followed by one hour with Jasper with a break only for going round to the Thomas's. Jasper was very patient, explaining Sun Tzu in context of our battles with the New Borns and the Volturi and helped out as my dancing partner while Alice shouted instructions.

Occasionally Alice would be my dancing partner and I had to lead, she said that it would help me understand the dances better. If she saw me, Renesmee would burst into a fit of giggles and stage whisper to Jacob that I could pretend I was dancing with Linda. I put up with the teasing stoically although one day after a particularly trying session I asked Alice why she and Jasper were putting me through this.

'Leah, I can see that one day soon you will leave us. I can't see what will happen to you but I can see our future and I can see how worried we are about you. So we all want you to be as prepared as possible.'

That lead to a discussion about seeing the future and I tried to mimic the trance like state that Alice used to see the future.

All I could see was swirls of colours and noise like static but afterwards I had a lingering sense that I needed to go south, before it was too late. Where and why I did not know, which was troubling and gave me nightmares over the following nights.

The next few weeks settled into a steady pattern, the days spent with Alice and Jasper, the evenings with Rosalie and Emmett working on my Jeep. Rosalie seemed to have relaxed and with Emmett's easy going banter the rebuilding was actually good fun.

When we were held up waiting for parts Emmett would take me out over the hills, explaining the geology and geography of the landscape about us, the forces of nature that had formed and shaped the land. Of more practical use was how to read the land to know what would be on the other side of a ridge or the bottom of a valley, important to avoid being trapped or when on the hunt.

Then there were the occasional breaks in routine such as the time I spent with Edward and Bella round at their house after Renesmee was in bed. I recounted to Edward the emotional overload I had felt going into the animal rescue centre. So many animals, so much pain.

We talked about tuning out and focusing on just one voice, just one mind at a time, mind over matter.

We practiced, with me trying to block him out while Bella tried to distract me, which was funny and also poignant as I often felt I was intruding on their time together.

Bella would take me on walks up into the hills away from the rest of her family, running swiftly over the rocky ground with me running along beside her in wolf form. Then when we had reached a sheltered lookout point she would stop and I would change back to human form so that we would talk about home, the families we had left behind and life with the Cullen's.

I talked openly about my fears and worries. Bella listened and reassured me that it would all work out OK. Look at her and Edward she reminded me, there's was a relationship that should have been doomed from the start but they survived and now they had Renesmee as well. If she and Edward could find a way then there had to be a way for me.

Esme organised my day, keeping me on the move but also ensuring that I had enough rest and passing on messages from my mother. Once she took me with her to Lebanon College for an afternoon course but the intricacies of interior design did not hold my attention until Esme jabbed me with her elbow.

Do not be fooled, Esme may look all sweetness and light but her jab is vicious. I politely declined further college and she did not push the issue, smiling benignly as I visited the animal rescue centre instead.

Linda had been concerned about my going back to the animal centre, not wishing a repeat of my collapse. It was difficult but Edwards's advice worked and with practice I was able to shut out the emotional overload by focusing on one animal at a time.

As her confidence in my abilities grew Linda introduced me to the rest of the volunteers, who would bring me their problematic patients for assessment.

Marcus also made use of my abilities when operating on animals where anaesthetic was difficult or risky. By reassuring the patient and being able to pass on information about their condition I was able to improve the surgical outcomes.

During the operations I noticed how Marcus changed, his concentration so focused that it stripped away his pretentiousness and helped me see what Linda saw in him, his potential for goodness in contrast to his normal potential for self destruction.

Then there were the terminal cases, animals for which the pain of the treatment outweighed the potential benefit and those where the trauma of their suffering was beyond our ability to heal.

With limited resources, which animals could be saved and which had to be put down ? or worse, in the face of overcrowding which healthy animals should be put down ? Who would make the decision, who would be god ?

I saw the tears and felt the heartache of difficult decisions and knew that here at least, in this centre, the decisions of life and death were taken with compassion.

When I brought this up during my evening conversations with Carlisle he had nodded and talked me through ethical dilemmas, both medical and moral. He helped me to understand my core values, the values that I would use to for my perspective in dealing with those dilemmas.

We also discussed the morality of vampires treating humans as animals, in comparison to the way humans treated animals they killed for food, such as cows and sheep. Should humans beyond medical help be killed to prevent pain and suffering ?

During these discussions, sitting in the armchairs by the fire, we would sometimes be joined by Esme, who declining our invitation to sit in an armchair would instead sit on the rug by Carlisle's chair and nestle in close to him.

More awkward and embarrassing were my discussions with Linda, sometimes we went to the greasy diner after working at the centre, but more often we talked as we walked the dogs that had been brought to the centre for healing and rehousing.

As we walked Linda would talk about the trauma of her coming out as a lesbian and how that had rippled out from her in unexpected ways, like the ripples from a pebble dropped into a pond. How her friends and family had not only to deal with her sexuality themselves but also had to explain about Linda to others, and so it was not surprising that some found it easier to just ignore her, to write her out of their lives.

At risk of being rude again I asked how I could recognise a lesbian, she laughed. 'Some are easy to recognise, the way they dress, the way they behave, the company they keep, but others are indistinguishable from heterosexual women.'

Another time she asked with an impish smile if I knew what lesbians did in bed, I blushed and stammered and thought that I really did not want to discuss this. She laughed off key, 'Most lesbians just seem to read books when in bed together.' And watched for my reaction. 'Oh' I said in surprise but did not comment further so Linda continued, 'female relationships are different to male female relationships, less testosterone, more empathy' and with a sigh, 'also two menstrual cycles tends to mess things up.'

I laughed and she looked round sharply, but I was laughing because that would not be a problem for me, with my periods having stopped when I phased. That was not something that I could share so I apologised lamely and she strode off in a huff.

I walked back to the centre alone that afternoon contemplating the simple relationship between Sam and I before the Cullen's had set up home in Forks. If they had not done so what would have happened ? Would Sam and I have got married and had children. Would I now be a contented house wife and mother or would I have felt trapped ?

The two greyhounds I was walking paced quietly behind me, subdued by my mood. I glared at them and they dropped submissively to their bellies. That was not what I wanted, I wanted them to be free, but they were trapped in their world just as much as I was trapped in mine. At least I could do something for them, looking round to make sure we were alone I sent them running off into the woods and gave them half an hour chasing squirrels and rabbits.

My "gift" enabled me to know where they were and to hold them back if it looked like they would actually catch anything.

They raced past me on the way back to the centre, tongues hanging out; eyes bright and I wondered who would let me off the lead, who would let me run free ?

There was an argument about who would go to the fund raiser ball with me. Renesmee was adamant that she was going as she had met Marcus and Linda when they came to check on Bertha. Jacob was adamant that he was going with Renesmee.

Bella pointed out that if Renesmee was going then it should be her and Edward who took her.

Emmett was adamant that he was going as I had a contractual commitment to take him to any parties I went to and Rosalie said she was going with Emmett.

I looked to Esme for guidance but she just smiled and said that she was not going to be dragged into this argument, but she did agree that we had to be careful not to have too many vampires on show together.

Bella and Jacob were descending into a loud slanging match with Edward backing up Bella and Renesmee backing up Jacob.

'ENOUGH' I shouted over the din trying to think what to do to stop this descending into a brawl.

Turning to Emmett and Rosalie I could see Emmett's eyes bright with the prospect of a brawl and Rosalie rolling her eyes in exasperation. 'Just us three.' I said to them firmly, 'we will leave Renesmee behind.'

The argument between Bella and Jacob stopped immediately as Renesmee wailed and threw herself at me. Staggering backwards I picked her up and held her in my arms. 'I want to go.' Wailed Renesmee. Listen to me I said and waited until Renesmee quietened down. 'You will have many balls to go to but this will be my only one and I don't want you spoiling it.'

'I won't spoil it.' Promised Renesmee.

'You already are.' I pointed out to her confusion. 'You are causing an argument between your mother and Jacob.'

'Oh that's nothing.' She dismissed airily with the carefree abandonment of spoilt children everywhere.

'That's where you are wrong Renesmee, you should be helping you mother, not causing arguments.'

She pouted, but her eyes tracked to her mother who was standing quietly by her father watching our exchange.

'Now go and say you are sorry to your mother, while I have a few words with Jacob outside.'

Her eyes opened in alarm as I put her back on her feet. 'It's OK,' sighed Jacob as he stalked past me towards the back door, 'do as your aunty Leah says.'

I waited until Renesmee had gone over to her mother and mumbled 'sorry' while casting worried glares in my direction, before I turned and followed Jacob.

My argument with Jacob was short, angry and to the point. I told him not to undermine Bella's authority as Renesme's mother and he told me to butt out. I reminded him that I would be leaving soon and would not be there in future to diffuse the arguments he caused so he had better learn quickly not to always pander to Renesmee.

I left him seething at the back door and walked over to the garage where my jeep was slowly taking shape again. If I ever imprint I thought; I hope I can be more restrained than Jacob.

Rosalie and Emmett followed me into the garage. 'We all heard you and Jacob.' said Rosalie opening the latest parcel of parts for my Jeep and I nodded.

Emmett added with a chuckle, 'quite a she wolf aren't you !'. He continued, 'Shame really. I was looking forward to proper fight between Bella and Jacob but you were probably right, none of us would have wanted Nessie to get upset.'

Speaking to Rosalie I asked 'When I'm gone would you break up the arguments between Bella and Jacob ?' She raised one of her perfect eyebrows.

'Renesmee will probably want to leave home when she's grown up, and that won't take long the speed she is developing. So these few years are the only years Bella and Edward will have her here as a child.' I paused, 'in years to come Renesmee will look back on these years with all of you and I hope you agree that her memories should be happy ones, not full of tension. Jacob can wait, for as long it takes.'

Rosalie nodded, 'quite the agony aunt now aren't you.' But without her usual sarcasm so hopefully she would at least think about what I said.

Then she asked about the ball and I went back to my room to fetch the details.

Edward was waiting for me, casually leaning against the wall outside my bedroom. 'Just wanted to thank you Leah, seems that you, like your brother, are there for me when I need help the most.'

I nodded, embarrassed. 'Yes, well, anytime Jacob steps out of line just call me and I'll have words with him again.'

Smiling he pushed off from the wall and reflected in passing, 'we will miss you when you gone.'

So am I now some kind of vampire agony aunt ?

Rosalie and Alice pushed and pulled and moulded me into something fit for a ball. In my opinion there had a much chance of making the Beast into Beauty but no one asked my opinion.

The centre was not much better; all the talk was of the ball and little else. An anonymous benefactor had made a generous donation for arranging the ball and I thought I knew who that might be. The Cullen's had the money and Rosalie would no doubt love to be in the limelight as the 'anonymous' benefactor. I sighed, resigned to her manipulations. I would be leaving soon so it seemed pointless to argue.

Marcus at least was still focused on his work and we had bonded through the surgery he carried out on the injured animals. I admired his skill and dexterity while he seemed to appreciate my help.

He laughed when I asked if he had an outfit for the ball and made him promise that he would ask me to dance with him so that I was not left sitting all on my own. I confessed that I was having dancing lessons and he laughed so much the poor raccoon he was operating on nearly died of haemorrhaging, until I kicked him under the operating table.

Too quickly, far too quickly, the date of the grand ball came round and I submitted to Alice's version of dressing up. I was not allowed to see what she had created for me until she was finished and complained at length about having to find a tent big enough for my huge frame. I wasn't bothered, there was no point even trying to compete with Rosalie. A bin bag would have sufficed for me ! All I asked for was something comfortable enough to dance in.

At last she was finished and I was turned round with Alice's hands over my eyes. 'You can open your eyes in 3, 2, 1.'


	12. Part 2 Chapter 12 The Ball

All Twilight characters and storyline belong to Stephanie Meyers

**Leah Clearwater: Fire, Redemption and Salvation**

**Chapter 12 - The Ball**

Slowly I open my eyes prepared for the worst but the room was in darkness.

Someone, I think Jasper from his silhouette, slowly turned up a small spot light which glittered and reflected off the sparkles sewn into my dress, contrasting with the material, dark as night.

'Twirl,' commanded Alice and as I pirouetted the dress moved with life and light. Simple and elegant in design, perfectly fitted and I gasped in surprise.

There was a chuckle from Jasper and he opened the spotlight wider. A movement caught my eye as dressed identically to me Renesmee also made a pirouette.

'Aunty Leah, you shall go to the ball and I am to accompany you to make sure you have a wonderful evening,' she declared, making a curtsey.

Alice darted forward with a silver necklace and as she fastened on me whispered in my ear, 'She's a present from Bella and Edward, just for this evening and the necklace is from Esme and Carlisle.'

My eyes welled up as I reached down to pick up Renesmee for a cuddle.

'No, no, no tears, you'll spoil your make up,' hissed Alice.

'You can come with me Renesmee as long as you promise to behave.'

She nodded solemnly and we made our way the door.

Edward was waiting to chauffeur us to the ball. He and Bella, who had already taken Emmett and Rosalie, would act as look outs and back up if required.

'Thank you Edward.'

'Well it's the least we could do. We hope you have fun tonight.'

The ball was being held in one of the college halls, tasteful and quietly exuding the kind aura wealth brings. The anonymous donation had clearly been spent on going upmarket but going on the long line of expensive cars waiting to drop off their passengers it looked like the ball would be well attended and hopefully would bring in the funding much needed by the centre.

As our car pulled up to the entrance a young and rather spotty young man opened the door for us. Renesmee got out first with the grace and movement of a ballerina and waited next to him for me to get out.

Cursing Alice for insisting that I wear pumps with heels, as if I needed to be any taller ? I attempted to emulate her example, without as much success judging by her hastily supressed giggle.

Marcus ran down the steps and bowed in front of me. 'Absolutely stunning. A beautiful Cinderella for the ball.'

I blushed and then took his proffered elbow as he lead me up the steps to the ball with Renesmee following.

As we entered the hall there was another queue of guests being announced by the master of ceremonies. Marcus bent to whisper to Renesmee who smiled with little dimples as she went all coy. Looking away I scanned the ballroom, there were round tables with candles and fancy decorations, a dance floor, and a small orchestra next to a podium with microphones.

Marcus unbent and exchanged a wink with Renesmee who nodded with a grin.

At our turn Marcus slipped a piece of paper to the announcer who spoke up with a clear loud voice:

'Miss Renesmee Cullen, Ms Leah Clearwater, and Dr Marcus Knight'

With Renesmee this time leading the way we made a slow procession across the ballroom, stopping frequently to exchange pleasantries with those already at their tables. Those who I had not met before asked Marcus to introduce me and Renesmee to them. There was much Ohhing and Ahhing and my mouth was getting tired from the constant smiling. I noticed Renesmee was in her element, curtsying and pirouetting, but always careful to keep her eye on me and make sure I was not left out.

Eventually we reached our table and I collapsed exhausted next to Emmett and Rosalie. Marcus excused himself to carry on glad handing donors. Emmett was managing to look relaxed and carefree while dressed up in a formal tuxedo while Rosalie was surprise, surprise, dressed to kill in a tight fitting flowing red ball gown. 'Looking good pup,' winked Emmett

I looked around for Linda without success but gratefully received a glass of champagne from a passing waiter, to try and ease my nerves. Renesmee wanted a glass of champagne too and unsure I looked to Rosalie for advice but she just shrugged. Not something vampires would bother with. I asked the waiter what they had for minors and he said he would bring some sparkling apple juice over. Renesmee stuck her tongue out at me but then remembered her promise and just pouted.

Once everyone was seated the organisers mounted the stage and welcomed all the guests. There was going to be an auction before the dancing and we happily followed the auction, bidding occasionally but mostly just having relaxed fun. Marcus was in the middle of all the commotion but there was no sign of Linda anywhere and I started to worry that she had been unable to attend.

The final item to be auctioned was the first dance, which would be with Marcus, who gallantly strode into the middle of the dance floor and bowed to the audience to loud catcalls and applause.

'Now ladies, what am I bid for the honour of the first dance ?' called the auctioneer to much laughter and good humoured banter. I watched amused as little old ladies tried to outbid each other for the chance to dance with Marcus and some of the more affluent students tried to mess up the proceedings by bidding on behalf of a young male student who blushed bright red. I glanced at Emmett who seemed to be enjoying the show. He caught my glance and winked, leaning over to whisper in Rosalie's ear. She grinned and nodded, at which Emmett leaned the other way to whisper in Renesmee's ear. She stifled giggles and nodded as well. I frowned in disapproval, not knowing what Emmett was up to but knowing all too well his sense of mischief.

Rosalie loudly pushed back her chair and stood up, clearly visible in her bright red hair and blond curls. When the startled audience turned to look she loudly said, 'I bid $ 5,000'.

She paused for dramatic effect, no doubt enjoying her moment in the spotlight, 'if Dr Knight will dance with my cousin, Ms Leah Clearwater.'

'No, no, no way.' I hissed at Rosalie but she was smiling and I heard Emmett ask Renesmee to escort me to the dance floor. 'We wouldn't want her making a run for the car park,' he explained to the audience who laughed and cheered.

Ahhhhh nooooooo this was soooo unfair, but there was Renesmee holding out her hand for me and Marcus waiting in the middle of the dance floor grinning from ear to ear. Yes I had wanted a dance with Marcus, but not on our own in front of all these people !

Rosalie sitting back down whispered in my ear, 'Alice and Esme will be so proud of you.'

Taking a deep breath I stood and took Renesme's hand and crossed the wooden parquet floor to loud applause. When we reached Marcus I stopped unsure of what to do next but Renesmee curtsied elegantly and tugged on my hand to indicate that I should do the same. Groaning I copied Renesmee as best I could to more loud cheering and Marcus bowed deeply. Renesmee placed my hand in his and pirouetting danced back to our table to more applause.

The room feel quiet in anticipation, 'a waltz or would you prefer something else ?' asked Marcus.

I preferred something else, like being several miles away but for the sake of our family honour I just nodded and took position.

The conductor called the orchestra to attention and the music started. Looking into my eyes Marcus whispered, 'just follow my lead and you will be fine.' And then we were off, gliding along to the music of Strauss.

I closed my eyes and concentrated on the rhythm and movement of his body and Alice's training started to click in, focus Leah, focus, I told myself.

Opening my eyes I looked into his eyes and relaxed into the dance, spinning and dancing as if we were the only two people in the ballroom.

Was this the tall dark dancer of my dreams I wondered ? It certainly felt like heaven.

When the music stopped we stepped apart, Marcus bowed to me with a look of awe and I curtsied back, to a standing ovation from our audience.

'Wow' exclaimed Marcus as he lead me back to our table, 'you were amazing Leah.'

Even Rosalie seemed impressed and Renesmee was bouncing up and down on her seat in excitement. I just collapsed onto my chair and buried my head in my hands, dimly aware of Marcus inviting Rosalie for a dance, as she had been kind enough to make such a generous donation.

After my heart rate had dropped to a more normal beat I looked up to see that Emmett's and Renesme's chairs were empty, they had probably joined the dancing, but in Marcus's chair was a stranger, well groomed with a neat moustache and half beard, handsome in a tailored waistcoat and fancy string tie.

'Good evening Miss Clearwater, may I congratulate you on your dance with Dr Knight.' His voice was low but melodic. I thought I should recognise him and wondered where we had met ?

He continued, 'May I ask for a dance ?'

I was about to politely decline but remembered that this was a fundraiser ball and perhaps he was one of the donors ?

'Thank you, that would be lovely, but excuse my ignorance, may I ask your name ?'

He grinned in amusement, 'my friends call me Lee,' and stood to take my hand.

Less was shortish and well built but moved easily and confidently drew me through the crowd now on the dance floor. His dancing was passable, not in the same league as Marcus but at least he did not step on my toes. I scanned the dance floor, Rosalie was showing off, as usual, and Marcus looked spellbound. Emmett was dancing with Renesmee as I had thought; everyone seemed to be complementing Renesmee on her dancing. Why was Linda not here ?

Lee noticed my preoccupation 'Are you looking for someone ?' he asked.

I blushed in embarrassment at being caught out, 'I'm sorry, I was supposed to be meeting Linda from the centre this evening and I can't see her anywhere.'

Lee laughed and missed a beat; we had to concentrate for a minute to get back into rhythm.

'She's around her somewhere.' He said but his voice broke and I looked at him sharply, annoyed at his flippancy.

I stopped abruptly, causing several other couples to have to swerve to avoid us. Lee blushed and I gasped, 'Ohhh myyy. Wooooow. You are amazzzzing.'

'Shhhhhh' he said urging me back into the dance, 'I don't want a scene.' And I happily complied relieved to know now where Linda was and very impressed with Lee.

Our "moment" had been spotted by Renesmee, who tugged Emmett's attention from what Rosalie was doing to Marcus for long enough to glance over in our direction. His brow furrowed for a moment then he grinned and bent down to whisper in Renesme's ear. She looked shocked but then grinned back. No keeping secrets in my adopted family. Emmett had obviously spotted across the dance floor what I had missed up close !

After the dance Lee escorted me back to our table but before I could ask any questions Emmett returned with Renesmee and left her with us while he went to look for Rosalie. My questions for Lee were not what I wanted Renesmee to hear so I held back.

'Did you enjoy your dance aunty Leah ?' asked Renesmee in her high perfectly articulated voice.

I smiled and nodded in agreement.

'Are you going to introduce me to your dance partner ?' she asked grinning at Lee, who grinned back and formally introduced himself, to another burst of giggles from Renesmee which turned into surprise when Lee asked if she would like a dance.

Renesmee glanced at me and I nodded, it would give me a chance to gather my thoughts and I could see Marcus making his way over.

'They make a fine couple.' He said watching Lee and Renesmee on the dance floor.

'You knew ?' I asked.

'Linda confided in me a couple of days ago and I encouraged her. Lee is an amazing drag king isn't he ?'

'Breathtaking.' I agreed with a chuckle, 'had me fooled, but what about you, how was your dance with Rosalie ?'

He turned to stare at me with frightening intensity, 'She is the most beautiful creature I have ever seen, and the way she moves, she is unbelievable. Like an angel.'

An angel of death I thought.

'After the dance I tried to ask her a few questions about herself but she seemed evasive, then her husband arrived and whisked her away.'

There was no sign of Rosalie or Emmett on the dance floor and I wondered where they were. Rosalie and her flamboyance, I sighed.

'Dancing with you was like dancing in a warm moonlit night but dancing with her was like dancing on ice with fire, exquisite.'

His beautiful face was thoughtful, almost trance like, as he hummed the melody from their dance.

'I thought I had died and gone to heaven.'

He slumped down in his chair, 'and now grim reality returns. If only I could find another such as her.'

Lee and Renesmee returned laughing from the dance floor and Renesmee brazenly asked Marcus for a dance. At least that seemed to break him out of his melancholy slump and I took the opportunity to ask Lee if we could go outside for some fresh air.

Lee readily agreed and we made our way out to the front, past the group of smokers to where the fountain twinkled softly in moonlight. A cool breeze blew gently from the east carrying the fresh smell of spring.

'Ahhh' sighed Lee, 'fresh air and a chance to cool down. Good suggestion Leah.'

'Why thank you sir.' I replied coyly.

He laughed, 'Did I really have you fooled or were you just playing along ?'

'You had me fooled all the way until your voice broke.' I assured him, 'where did you get all this from ? it's amazing !'

'Good to know I haven't lost the knack; it's been a few years since the last time. When I lived in New York I used to go out as Lee once a month, sometimes more. The ladies loved it, but it became a bit of drag.' And he chuckled over double meaning.

'Really ? Where did you go in New York ?, were there special clubs ? were there many of you ? who taught you all of this ?' my curiosity overflowed.

'One question at a time, please,' requested Lee.

'Yes there are special clubs, not there are not many drag kings like me, I learnt from hanging out with the other guys and I had one special friend who encouraged me to develop this persona. Unfortunately she succumbed to the dark side, so I left and eventually found my way here.' Spreading his arms wide to encompass the Lebanon valley.

'What do you mean she succumbed to the dark side ?' I asked and then immediately regretted asking fearing that this would be a sensitive subject.

Lee looked away from me a trace of bitterness entered his voice, 'drink and drugs, I tried to talk her out of it but she would not listen. They were cheap and the daily struggle to survive was too hard. In the end I took her back to her family and split.'

Pushing the gravel around with his boot, 'I would like to know what happened to her but I'm afraid to ask. In some respect pretending that she made a miraculous recovery is worse than hearing that she was beyond reach.'

His sense of loss was too much for me; I stepped forwards and cuddled him in my arms. Right or wrong Lee and Linda needed support.

A throaty cough interrupted our moment together and as we separated Emmett appeared. 'Sorry to interrupt, I think it's best if I take Rosalie home now. Will you be OK looking after Renesmee or would you like me to take her home?'

Why was Emmett taking Rosalie home? was it something to do with Marcus ? and where was Renesmee ? These were all questions that flashed through my mind. I realised that being out here with Lee was not looking after Renesmee and I started to panic over abandoning her.

'Of course, if you think that is for best and I will go straight back to the ball now.' Turning to Lee I said, 'I'm sorry' apologetically and hurried back into the ball.

I found Renesmee and Marcus back at our table, chatting with some little old ladies who had come over to coo and ahh over Renesmee and flirt outrageously with Marcus. They seemed happy enough and laughed when I became the centre of attention. Renesmee sounded even more giggly than usual and I noticed an extra champagne glass on the table. Marcus saw my frown and shrugged;' if she is old enough to go to the ball then she is old enough to try the champagne.' We both looked at Renesmee who giggled again and hid under the table.

'It's time she went home.' I sighed; Bella would probably kill me for letting Renesmee have an alcoholic drink although I was inclined to agree with Marcus.

'The night is still young.' He pleaded, 'please don't abandon me here in the middle of all this,' indicating all the little old ladies eyeing him up speculatively.

His expression was too panic stricken to resist and I laughed, 'OK, I tell you what, how about we go round the tables shaking as many dollars out of them as we can ?'

He nodded, relieved, and I bent down to peak under the table covers, 'Nessie, I can see you.'

She giggled.

'Come to Aunty Leah.'

She shook her head and backed away but was caught out when Marcus's hands grabbed her from behind and pulled her out. We grinned conspiratorially as Marcus handed her back to me.

We spent the rest of the evening passing from table to table, laughing, joking, Marcus flirted with the little old ladies and I flirted with the little old men who all said what a fine couple we looked together. We smiled and said thank you and made sure they filled the collecting tins on the tables with their donations.

Renesmee fell asleep on my shoulder and it was very distracting listening to her slightly inebriated dreams, vivid flashes of light and colour, faces and places and Jacob, always Jacob. No wonder Edward was so defensive. Maybe I should take him with me when I left, we could go back to La Push together, see our families. Would he go with me or was his bond too tight I wondered ?

Eventually, the ballroom began to thin out, guests were collecting their coats and saying goodnight. It was gratifying to hear that they had enjoyed themselves and the organisers seemed very pleased with the value of the donations the centre had received.

The last dance was called and I looked round for Lee, or Linda, but there was neither, just Marcus, who made a small mattress out of some seat cushions and held his hand out for me. I asked about Linda and he said that she had gone home and that he would check on her later. I laid Renesmee down gently and she dreamed on as Marcus pulled me into our last dance, exquisite and emotional. The last lingering notes of the cello were haunting in their sadness, signalling the end of the evening and perhaps the end of much more.

We applauded the orchestra along with the others that were left, I gathered up Renesmee and after a chaste kiss on the cheek from Marcus he led me to my car, where Edward was patiently waiting.

In the car Bella took Renesmee from me and I turned to wave to Marcus but he was already gone.

There was no need to tell Edward and Bella about the evening, Edward would have seen it all, for better or worse. 'How are Rosalie and Emmett ?' I asked.

'Rosalie is very apologetic; she was careless because she was jealous of you,' replied Edward watching my reaction in the rear view mirror.

'Jealous, of me ?' was my surprised response. What in the world would make Rosalie jealous of me ?

He chuckled, 'You and Marcus made a very big impression with your first dance.' and I blushed with the memory. On a more sombre note he continued 'Linda made a special effort for you tonight. You need to decide what you want from your relationship with her and what will happen when you leave.'

Linda and Lee, so much for me to think about. What did I want from Linda, what did she want from me ?


End file.
